We started potty training today....it did not go well

[kedss]

Hi Susan-
We had our DS in pullups (the cars design) for a few months, then last week, I decided we needed to start potty training, he had been peeing in the potty occasionally in the morning.

Our first day was not good, like you we had a lot of accidents, and we had a lot of laundry to do! But i had bought Cars underwear, thinking that might help him decide he wanted to do it.

After our first day, we bought a bunch of Hanes underwear, the next day was better, and about a week, ten days later, things are much easier. I haven't done the rewards system at all, and he seems to like that he stays dry, and that seems to be all he needs as a reward.

If he doesn't show interest, I wouldn't push it. We have the little potty in the kitchen, and fortunately a lot of bathrooms in the house.

Maybe try finding a book about potty training if he is into books?

If I had tried earlier, it probably wouldn't have worked.

Big hugs, Mama!

[s7714]

Congrats on starting PTing! Now take a deep breath and try to relax! ;)

Honestly, I think your description of a first day of PTing is standard for what most folks go through. Despite all the stories about kids that train overnight, for most of our DCs, it's a learned process that can take days or even months. My it took my older DD about 3-4 months to get PT'd to the point that I considered her fully trained (wearing undies, knowing and able to pee/poop in the potty and could make it a full day w/o an accident).

If you haven't already read Jeanette's (jeminaal) post on this same subject, you should. I think you might find her post helpful and similar (even down to the seven accidents on the first day)! Here's a link: http://tinyurl.com/yq3pqj

ETA: In regards to your DS's fear of the potty, have you tried taking him to the store and letting him pick out his own big boy potty? Maybe if he feels some connection and pride in the fact he helped pick out the potty he might be more willing to try it? I also agree with the PP suggestion about getting some stories about it to read to him. This is my DDs' favorite (but in they have the girl version of course): http://tinyurl.com/2s9wdg

Good luck!
Jennifer
Mommy to
Miss Pure Energy 3/03
Miss Limit Tester 6/05

Our bones may be brittle, but our spirit is unbreakable.
Osteogenesis Imperfecta www.oif.org

[SnuggleBuggles]

DId you check out my story of ds' and potty training on this board?

It just sounds so familiar. It really sounds like he just isn't there either. It really shouldn't matter whether everyone else is pt'ed or if it seems like time if it is just turning into a power struggle.

When the time is right it will click. The time just doesn't sound right. I would personally back off, keep the little potty around and see what happens. He will get it...it may be days or months.

Also, I wouldn't really be negative about accidents (the sad faces). I think it is better to encourage success rather than make a big deal about failures. They already know. They don't need to be reminded.

JMO,
Beth

[mom2one]

Hi all. Thanks for taking the time to be encouragain to me and your advice. I agree that the timing does not seem to be right. I told my husband today (we are still trying with pt- day 3) that is just seems like I am changing pants all day, he won't go near the potty no matter what incentives are dangled his way.

His BF went potty twice yesterday in front of him, I was hoping that would help. He is excited about the big boy underwear - thomas the train, etc.

I did just order the book that Jennifer recommended from Amazon - none of the local bookstores had it. ANy other great books out there to try? He has watched potty power dvd so much, I know some of the songs- this is the library copy though and we do not currently have it.

So, if I completely back off, how long do I do this for?

We are going to go potty shopping to give that a try and see if it matters and go shopping for more big boy underwear as we need more pairs!

Thanks again for all your help. I will keep you updated. Susan

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ds too was excited about buying underwear, a potty and all that stuff but it wasn't enough to make him want to use the potty.

If you make it a big deal he could form a bigger block in his brain about using the potty. Like the harder you push the more he is going to dig in.

I would take *at least* a month off. If you are under no "deadline" to train then I would just let it be. Like I said, make it available, offer positive examples of friends using the potty (but be sure not to say, "Sarah can use the potty. Why can't you?"), let him know that the rewards are there. But, then put the ball in his court. YOu can offer undies or a diaper and just let him choose.

If youa re mellow and relaxed about it I really think that helps. Artificial, unnecessary stress is just no good.

Now, maybe your ds is just going through a very short term holdback and will be ready soon. If you find it is turning into a major battle I really would just stop. Aim for the 4th birthday and just cut everyone some slack. Kids figure it out. Have faith and be patient. :) And remember that most of the time little girls are easier to train and they train earlier so try not compare him with his girl friends. Or anyone else.

BTW, H&M has great underwear (super soft waist bands). I had no good books except for a Little Critters' book.

Good luck!

Beth

[kedss]

Hi Susan-
Just checking in to see how things are going.:)

[mom2one]

Kate- Hi. Thanks for checking in and thinking of me. Things have not progressed at all. We did go buy more underware - Nemo and Cars ones. He is very excited about that. i have made life easier for me by just doing real underware for a little bit in the morning and only doing one or two changes then. I ordered the potty book that someone recommended earlier in this post, and I am waiting for it. I could not find it locally and Amazon says it has shipped. So we talk about it daily, but he will not go near that potty. I hope the book helps in someway. No school last week due to spring break in my area, so I am hoping going back will help and see if the teachers can plant some positive seeds here for me to get things rolling.

Thanks again for checking in. Susan

[duvie]

I totally agree with PP to back off- he doesn't seem to be ready and will probably resist even more if he feels pressured. I would have diapers, pull ups and underwear all available. When you change him, you could casually say "what would you like to wear today?" I think that if you do this, you have to try to genuinely not care...otherwise just go back to diapers.

As for the sticker chart, have it near the potty, but don't make a big deal about it. If he goes in his underwear, just change him, but don't put anything on the chart. When he does go in the potty, try to not get too excited and give him a sticker to put on it, or a happy face.

I have heard that boys often take a lot longer to potty train and that they will let you know when they are ready. It is hard that you are feeling pressure from your mom, but maybe you could tell her that the books/experts/other wise parents etc!! tell you that it is fine to wait!

Hang in there! I remind myself that most kids do not go to kindergarten diapers...

[mom2one]

So glad I found this board today. We started potty training today. My mom (who has been nagging for over a year) has pressured me into doing this. I know it is up to ME to get him potty trained and I have not wanted to deal with it. So I figure it is time- DS is 3yr1m and all of his friends are potty trained.

I go to sit him on the potty this am, and he just cries and screams and carrys on. I then decide to put him in the big boy underwear. Well, seven changes of pants later, the day is over and I am so glad. He did not sit on the potty at all today.

He has shown interest in the past on wanted to be potty trained and would sit him on the potty. I don't understand why he won't sit on potty at all (we have the little seat plus a little potty). My friend suggested I put the little potty out of the bathroom and in another room, also not to make any comments about wetting his pants to just change them.

I just want to say I am soooo discouraged. I read the other post and feel like we should just give up and try again another day. Any thoughts on any of this? Anybody else have a child who hates the potty?

And I did a potty chart, it has seven sad faces for seven accidents on it right now. There is a CARS movie car out for him to see (and I hoped motivate) if he would actually go potty. I offered mnm's, peanut butter cups, and nothing would get him to go near the potty.

Thanks for any and all help. Susan

[ECMom]

When we potty trained our son we started with pee and down the road tackled poop. For the pee part, we noticed very quickly that he had no interest in a potty seat, so we geared his training around standing in front of regular toilet using one of those rubber step stools. This was an easy choice because this is what he did at his preschool, minus the step stool since they had those kid's size toilets. At regular intervals, my husband or I would say we would have to go use the bathroom & take him with us. After we were done, we'd tell him it was his turn and pull his pants down for him to try. Granted we drank alot of liquid to pull this off, but eventually he started to go. We would praise him & give him a reward, which in his case was $1. When his money stash exceeded a certain amount, we took him to the store so he could pick out something to buy. If you try this approach, I'd suggest starting on the weekend when your husband is home so you can give him the most standing training. Also, we didn't start until right before my son's 3rd birthday. It took about 7 weeks before he was 100% independent peeing on the potty.

ETA - be prepared for pee on the floor or even the walls. Aim comes later :).