Vent

[raynjen]

I am sooo sick of watching parents not put their kids in car seats, or put them in wrong, or allow them to "play" in their seats (loosen the belts, twist around in them, etc.) I just needed to vent and say how angry I am that this keeps happening. I know that it is mostly a product of ignorance and where we live, but it still gets my guts tied up in a knot!

Case in point - we were standing in line in front of a man with his little boy. I noticed a double stroller and a Graco turbo booster in his cart so I struck up a conversation with him. I asked how old the little boy was and his father replied that he was 2 yrs 3 month. I asked if the booster was for him and the dad answered it was. I then said in my best "I'm confused, you enlighten me" voice, but that booster doesn't have a harness does it? The father replied, that no it didn't, but they wanted to get him off the phone book they had him on! Aacck!

I bit my tongue and wondered what would be the appropriate response.... I just see it so often I no longer have the heart to confront people on this kind of stuff. Should I have? When is it being an interfering busy body and when is it doing the right thing?

Anyway, just wanted to get this off my chest.

Jen in Okinawa
Mom to my lovely preschooler,
who NEVER rides without a car seat,
Noelle

[Joolsplus2]

Oh jeez...a phone book! People just have NO sense, do they? :(
I'll tell you, I'm the weekend installation-by-paid-appointment tech at a baby store, and even *I* don't have the guts to approach people with massively misused infant seats. It's really the opposite of your "environment" and people still don't get it right...Like, I'm talking babies in Peg Perego Primo Viaggios in Bugaboo Frog strollers...how can you spend over $1000 on the "right" baby gear and not read the manual about how tight the harness should be?????

I've really had to turn a cold heart to some bad misuse and add those babies to my prayers...I've just read so many horror stories of people trying to get involved and having the parents get REALLY p.o'd at them, that I'm afraid to say anything, most of the time, and just don't.

:(

Julie CPS Tech and mom to 2 in seats
http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/RFAlbum/SarahMA.aspx

[raynjen]

Thank you Julie, you don't know how much better I feel hearing that. I'm not some crusader for safe seats, but I almost feel obligated to say something and I too am concerned about repercussions. It is hard to balance your obligation to the human race against your obligation to your family sometimes. Thank you also for reminding me that this is a universal problem and not confined to my little corner of the world!

Jen in Okinawa
Mom to a wonderful preschooler,
who just turned three, Noelle!

[KrisM]

I had my baby in a infant carrier in a snap-n-go at Home Depot a while ago. I was getting a shade cut to length and the woman helping my commented on the stroller. She also mentioned that she just turned her 7 month old forward facing because he outgrew the infant carrier. I debated with myself whether to say something or not. I finally figured that if she got mad at me, oh well, at least I tried. So, I mentioned, in the nicest, non-confrontational voice I have, that they recommend not going forward until at least 1 year. Her comment was that the carrier had a 20 lb limit. I told her there were convertible seat that went rear facing until 30 or so lbs. and then forward facing. She told me she didn't know that! She thanked me and said she would see if that's what she in-fact had already or if she needed to buy something different. She also said that he seemed too small to be forward facing, but didn't know she had an option.

I can't imagine not knowing that, myself. But, boy was I glad I said something! It's a tough decision, and I'm sure I won't always say something, but when I do, I try to do it like you said, with the "enlighten me" voice.

[Momof3Labs]

Yes, it is heartbreaking, isn't it?? I was in Target one day and helped a mom (that I met in the car seat aisle) pick out a convertible seat for her 5 month old. Then she told me that they were buying it so that they could turn her forward facing - with their ped's blessing!!! The baby screamed and sometimes threw up a little in her car seat, so the ped told them that they'd be better off turning the car seat forward facing so that she doesn't get sick.

And she reassured me that they weren't going to do it all the time (yeah, right), only on long trips, like when they drive from Chicago to St. Louis. Yep, sure, makes perfect sense now.

The kicker was that her DH (like mine) is a firefighter. Doesn't he know better??? He's seen the horrific possibilities, too.

[Joolsplus2]

Good for you, Kris! I'm so glad the mom took it well and you were able to keep that baby safer :D

[Hallie_D]

All three of my sisters-in-law (who live in the same city as each other, far from me) turned their sons around when they hit 20 lbs, which for one child was as early as 6 months and the others was by 9 months. I made a comment about "20 lbs AND one year" to the first SIL to turn her son around, in front of the other two, but was told that it "was so much easier to have him facing forward, and after all, he's outgrown his infant seats!" After that I bit my tongue and tried to just be an example when I visit--DS (the oldest cousin) is 31 months and still rides rear-facing in his RA. They have a much more cavalier attitude about many things I consider to be basic safety issues (hello, gate at the top of an incredibly steep staircase that ascends to the top of a 14-foot ceiling with NO turns when you have a crawling or walking baby?).

I don't know if it is the culture of the city in which they live (motto: laissez les bontemps roulez), a basic lack of education about these issues, a combination of both, or something else entirely, but I find myself biting my tongue a LOT when I visit!

[MMEand1]

>I don't know if it is the culture of the city in which they
>live (motto: laissez les bontemps roulez), a basic lack of
>education about these issues, a combination of both, or
>something else entirely, but I find myself biting my tongue a
>LOT when I visit!


culture of the city in which they live (motto: laissez les bontemps roulez)
I can speak from living in a city/state whose motto is the same, and I can tell you that it is not from lack of education, or culture, or a combination of both. It is brcause they simply do not care!! I am very educated (college graduate, military service, tested spacesuits for NASA, etc) and I make an extra effort to ensure my DS is safe by doing all the research and attending all the classes that I possibly can. I did not turn my DS around until well past the 20 lbs/1 yr mark and don't plan on turning around our new baby (due in 2.5 weeks) until s/he is well past that mark as well (limit of seat determines when I turn my DC around - NOT just because something is easy for me!).

I can tell you that when I was researching my DS's car seat, as friend of mine whose DD is only a 2 months older than my DS was telling me that I was spending too much time looking for the right car seat. She kept her DD in an infant carrier until both her head and feet were hanging over the carrier and then put her directly into a booster. I asked her why she did not get a car seat and she said something to the effect "Don't even talk to me about car seats because I made my decision as to what I wanted to buy and now I am done with it."

The education is there and the culture has nothing to do with the parents decision as to how they belt their child in. Simply put, some parents are just too lazy to care about the safety of their children and are then quick to blame the car seat manufacturers or car company when there is an accident.

Mariah P.

[Hallie_D]

I didn't mean to imply that nobody in that city is educated about these issues, I meant THEY (my sisters-in-law) weren't educated on the issues--not because they aren't educated people, but because they don't care to educate themselves.

[MMEand1]

I know that you did not mean to imply that the people (general population) are uneducated, and I did not take offense to your remarks. I just wanted to let you know that the education is there IF they so desire to take advantage of it and the culture, while being a little odd, has nothing to do with ensuring your/their DC's safety.

By the way, I am due with #2 on 13 Jan 05. Good Luck!!

Mariah P.