I know i have seen on here some websites selling all the "extras" that come with a diaper bag so that you can basically make your own...i have finally decided to:

1) get a one step ahead or LE back pack for long trips AND
2) get a new purse that I like for me, and then add all the diaper bag stuff...(i have seen new 9 west bags that some with all kinds of organization space)

so, if anyone knows where i can get a changing pad, dirty diaper holder and any other extras, let me know, thanks!