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Thread: Introduction

  1. #11
    emmiem's Avatar
    emmiem is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Introduction

    I want housefull of children and I am 42! I have the full sprectrum of ages from teen to toddler and in the process of starting another adoption.

    Hidong-What adoption agency are you using? I am thinking of A Helping Hand or Children's Hope International.
    Emmie

  2. #12
    Kimberly H Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    Neve, I'd love to share with you!

    We chose China for several reasons. The hardest to explain is that we know our daughter is there. There's no other way to say it!

    I'll give you the quick(?) overview and feel free to ask questions either here or by email.

    I'm 36 with 2 bio boys from my first marriage. Robert is 44, has been married before also, but no kids. He's sterile (diabetes) and I had my tubes tied after my second c-section at 23 years old. We've been married 4 years, engaged for 2 more, friends for 2 years before that so we have a pretty good history.

    I commented to him one weekend morning that I was nearing 36 and it was time to get on the ball for a baby if we were thinking that way, knowing it would not be a simple thing. I started researching IVF and talked to my insurance company. I found that they would not cover the IVF treatments at all since we were both sterile (odd, huh?) and we were looking at outrageous expenses because of the process needed to get his sperm. Okee, dokie, no bio babies for us.

    We began looking into domestic adoption and knew almost immediately it wasn't for us. Few children in our area and those that were available, were bi-racial and our county won't place AA babies with Caucasian parents. We also knew we'd fail at the "baby lottery" since we'd be competing with childless couples who had lots of money at their disposal. If I were in the pregnant mother's situation, I'd choose them too.

    I walked into my manager's office a few days later, looked above her desk, and was struck dumb. There were the referral photos for another manager's daughter from China. I just KNEW.

    More research...the Internet is FULL of places to go to find out about China adoptions and I read and read and read and read. My manager sent me to talk to the adoptive mom and she gave me her agency and social worker's names and I was pleased to find her agency was CCAI - the top on our list of 4 or so agencies I liked. I called CCAI, had a wonderful conversation with Katie, who was supposed to be off work 5 minutes after I called but never rushed me the entire 90+ minutes we were on the phone. She even went to other departments to get answers for me for specific questions, like about Robert's diabetes affecting our chances.

    We received the application and took our time filling it out, though it's not nearly as in-depth as some out there! Returned it, found out a week or so later we were accepted and we began the paperchase! That's a whole 'nother post so I'll answer any questions about that separately, maybe another thread.

    Our dossier was sent to China at the end of March and logged into the CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) on 3/31. Then the wait began.

    The next 4-6 weeks will be huge for us - everyone's waiting to see if China will continue matching 2 months of dossiers at a time now that they've completed those October/November '02 dossiers. November '02 ended the quota year and China no longer has a quota for married couples. The wait is now down to 10 months, a goal of the CCAA. If they continue to match 2 at a time, I should have my referral by Thanksgiving. If not, we will in January or so, barring a return of the SARS epidemic as is expected.

    When we receive our referral, we find out where in China our daughter is, if she's in an orphanage or foster care, how old she is, how much she weighs, how long she is, and her given name and some characteristics. We also get pictures!!! Of course, the info is sketchy and not always correct (they bundle their babies and weight them in the bundles!) but we'll have SOMETHING.

    6-8 weeks after we receive our referral, we'll travel to China to pick her up, spending a few days to a week in the capital of the province where she's been living to finish up her provincial paperwork, then on to Guangzhou (HOT!) for another few days to a week to do her American paperwork and make her OURS at the US Consulate there.

    Do I wish our agency was nearby instead of across the country? (we're in SC, they're outside of Denver, CO) You bet! Would I choose CCAI again? You bet!

    Wow...a lot longer than I planned. Please feel free to ask away!!

  3. #13
    smkinc is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Default RE: Introduction

    Hi Bonnie,

    He's adorable!!

    I'm Mary. We did domestic open adoption (agency), and brought home our little boy in March--he was 5 weeks then and currently our 7 month old bundle of joy! We have a very open adoption (birthmom visits about 1/month) which is working out much better than I could have ever expected. Is your adoption open and if so how is it going for you? Few people go through this experience, so I'm trying to find others in this situation.

    Thanks,
    Mary (Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03, home 3/6/03)

  4. #14
    ginamlee Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    Neve,

    It was a quick process mostly because Mariah was a "waiting child". There isn't a line of people wanting to adopt a 5 year old. Adopting an infant would have been a different story, probably.

    Additionally, I'm a bit of an obsessive-compulsive type and we flew threw the paperwork.

    I was always "able" to get pregnant, but we just decided that we wanted to adopt. Both of these last 2 pregnancies were "condom babies" - my kids are living proof that those things aren't perfect... LOL!

    I'm 35 and I guess we now how that "house full of children". I'm going to get my tubes tied when Autumn in born in the next week or so. Something about it is very sad to me, but I really don't know where we'd put a 5th child (or 6th, or more...). If down the road we decide that we just have to have another, we'll adopt again! :)

  5. #15
    BonnieV Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    Hi Mary,

    I'm sure you are as thrilled as I to have your little miracle in your arms. Our adoption is semi open. We don't communicate directly with his birthmother but we send letters and pictures monthly through the agency. We have some identifying information as well. We never met. Our first adoption plan was much more open (we had met she and birthfather a few times for meals and spoke weekly for a couple of months) but two weeks before she was due she choose not to complete her adoption plan with us.

    I have very mixed emotions about it all. On one hand I can see all the advantages of an open adoption. On the other, I can see the pitfalls and possible disappointments.

    Bonnie

  6. #16
    mama2be Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    I could do a "waiting child"...I don't mind if they are older...how did you go about the search...where do I go???

  7. #17
    ginamlee Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    We used an agency called Help The Children. They had an online photolisting. However, the director has now retired and the agency is no longer in operation.

    I know a ton has changed since we adopted 7 years ago. (Wow! It is difficult to believe that it has been that long...even though at the same time it feels like Mariah has always been with us...a strange feeling to describe...)

    However, I came across a few sites from my saved adoption links that might get you started:

    http://precious.org/
    http://photolisting.adoption.com/
    http://www.adoptlink.com/webmoms.htm

    I'm sure that there must be more and better ones out there! It's quite a journey...

  8. #18
    Melanie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Introduction

    Add me to the list of mamas who just feels like she will be adopting someday. I am really interested in the Ukraine or Russia as that is Dh's heritage. However due to the costs it is quite a ways off for us, plus I am a bit nervous b/c of the stories I have heard about unscrupulous agencies.

  9. #19
    malie Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    While it is true there are some unscrupulous agencies there are also quite a number of agencies that are certified by the Russian Gov't and ones that have quite a long history of working with Russia. Also I don't know if you are aware of it or not but currently there is a 10,000 tax credit for adoption. You still need to have the money up front and it's unlike the credit will cover all of your expenses but within income limits (and I believe that the income limit is actually pretty high), you can get back at least some of the money you pay as a credit off your taxes

  10. #20
    malie Guest

    Default RE: Introduction

    Hi all, we are waiting for the arrival of our son Luke Kyung-Mim from S. Korea. We hope that he is home by Christmas but because of the way adoption is handled in Korea it is possible that he won't travel until after the first of the year

    Luke was born on June 25 and we received his referral in Aug

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