GREAT LINKS FOR UKRAINE & BEST WEB SITE FOR UKRAINE INFO

[mama2be]

I REMOVED THEIR LAST NAME, BUT I HAVE GOTTEN SEVERAL TESTAMONIALS...IF YOU GO ON THE YAHOO GROUPS AND ASK FO RHTEM THEY ALL SEND THEIR STORIES...THIS ONE JSUT HIT ME THE MOST, AND REMINDED ME OF WHAT TO EXPECT!!!!


We are David and Aprill. We have three biological children who are now 15 (John David), 11 (Elizabeth) and 7 (Michael). We have always wanted more children and were thankful to find the Ukrainian program as our first real hope of adding to our family. We had approval for three children and wanted to adopt two girls and a boy under 7. We traveled the first time in April 2003 when Ms. Parienko was the director. We adopted two children (biological brother and sister, ages 7 and 5, Joseph and Emily) in May 2003 from Simferopol, Ukraine using Luda who works on Vlad's team. We could not stay any longer at that time to find our third child because the director at the AC was leaving and things were in chaos there. So we went back in July 2003 to Simferopol and adopted another little girl who is also 7 (Morgan) from the same orphanage who was just coming available. Joseph and Emily have been home almost 5 months now and Morgan has been home almos!
t 2 months.
>
> We have never really written our whole story because since we have been home with the children I have devoted every minute I can to my children and I haven't wanted to take time away from them to spend on the computer. I also have had a hard time just sorting through all my feelings and knowing what to write.
>
> I want to try now to briefly summarize what I call the good, the bad and the ugly from our experience. This is in no way everything that happened to us but I do want to share what I feel like is the most important and the things I wish I had known before I went.
>
> The GOOD! Our children are wonderful! I cannot say enough good things about my own children and also the other children we met in Simferopol. We spent a lot of time visiting and playing with all the children at the orphanage there in Simferopol. The director could see that we just really loved all the children and she let us spend time with almost all of them there, which we've heard is unusual to get that privilege. We also took pictures for the director of children who would be coming availabe soon. She saw that we enjoyed taking pictures with our digital camera and asked if we could help her get these pictures done for the AC and we really enjoyed doing that for her. I can say without a doubt there are many wonderful children there who would be an incredible blessing to anyone's life and family. They are all happy, healthy, full of personality and love, and the small amount of kindness and attention we gave them was repaid to us with the most wonderful hugs and !
smiles and we couldn't believe how loving they all were. They all quickly picked up a small amount of English and enjoyed talking to us as much as they could.
>
> There will always be a part of my heart there with the ones I couldn't bring home and I am still trying to figure out how I can go back and adopt again. Our own children have had really no adjustment problems. They are learning English very fast and have tackled their new lives with enthusiasm and courage and they are all my little heroes. Everyone who comes in contact with them feels blessed and can't believe there are wonderful children like these who have no homes and are stuck in institutions. They have no behavior problems and are favorites of their teachers and at the top of their class in school already. They are just a joy to be with. If you're reading this and thinking this sounds too good to be true, I just have to say again that it is true and they are just wonderful children and there are many more like them. I will say that one thing to consider in adopting an older child is the length of time in the orphanage. Ours had only been there about a year and!
a half and I think that is one thing that has helped them in learning to live in a family now and have no attachment problems, because they weren't in the orphanage very long. That was good advice we got from our doctor before we left, that the less time in the orphanage the better as far as attachment goes.
>
> The BAD: Ukraine, how can I say, is a very depressing place to me. When we arrived on April 18 it was the end of winter there and things were very bleak and gray and ugly. There are many suffering people there and it is hard for me to be surrounded by that and be able to keep my spirits up. There is a sense of hoplessness that I have never encountered before. It is a very oppressive, paranoid, fearful place and no one there is helpful or kind or cares at all what you're trying to accompish or if they can help you. If anyone had tried at all to help us, we could have found our third child while we there the first time and wouldn't have had to turn around and go back in two months. But there is so much fear about trying to help anyone that the orphanage directors won't even talk on the phone to each other about children that are available. And the AC is the ultimate unhelpful place. We now know for a fact that there was a child available at the other orphanage in ou!
r region where we were that I'm sure we would have taken, and we tried so hard to get someone (the AC, the orphanage director, our translator) to check on that while we were there but they wouldn't. So we ended up going back in two months which of course added greatly to the expense of our adoption.
>
> The only cheerful places we went while we were there were the orphanages we visited. The children were so happy and beautiful and glad to see us. Our time spent with them will always be very precious to us. And all our good memories of Ukraine are of the children. I have to say that the people on our team were helpful as much as they could be and they did everything we needed them to do with determination and perseverance with almost no concern for themselves. But to get anyone else to do anything you need done you might as well bang your head against the wall. They could care less if you need to get home or back to your life. So please don't go there expecting anyone to care at all about your schedule or need to get home or if you accomplish what you came to accomplish.
>
> THE UGLY: The adoption business there is very corrupt. We had read every story we could read before we left and knew there was some corrpution and baby selling. But what I didn't really understand before I went is why there are no healthy babies available to independent adopters. The babies who have no diagnoses are sold to agencies for peole who are paying "big money" as my translators told me. The healthy babies that we independent adopters are able to get are the ones that are missed by the people pulling out the healthy babies to sell because they might have a diagnosis that would bother some agency people. I mean this in no way to offend those people who have adopted healthy babies whose diagnoses turned out to be nonexistent. I am very happy for you. But I believe that anyone who has any hope of adopting a healthy young girl (or maybe even boy) will have to pay extra money above the normal $4500 that is the stated fee, and that option of paying more to get th!
e child you're looking for may or may not be available to you, depending on your translator and their contacts. I have to speak from my own experience and the information that was given to me by my translators. I am not making this up.
>
> I feel like the biggest mistake I made in my adoption process was not speaking to my regional translator personally before we arrived in Ukraine. They are the ones who work in the system day to day and they are the only ones who have any clue as to what's going on behind the scenes. And the information they gave me when I was there was nothing like I had read in any story on this group. I could give specific examples, but let me say that they told me of corrpution on many levels, from orphanage directors to AC personnel to even regional officials who go into orphanages and pull out the files of healthy babies to sell to their agency contacts. It is very ugly stuff. When we got to Ukraine and found out these things it really floored us. It is much more pervasive than I could figure from what I read, and that is why I want to really state it as clearly as possible to all waiting to go so you won't be stunned like we were.
>
> Another thing that was heartbreaking to us is how younger siblings are adopted away from the older ones I'm sure because they can be sold and the older ones can't. Our children had a younger sister who was adopted away from them and it is so hard for them and us to understand why she couldn't come to their new home and grow up with them. Although the AC told us she was adopted by Ukrainians, our translator thought she was probably sold for "big money." A group of three siblings is exactly what we went there looking for and she would have been the end of our search if she had been left with them. So for all you hear about them not separating siblings, that's bull if the younger one is young enough to sell. Also, we were told by the American consulate in Kiev that by Ukrainian law our children are entitled to know where their siblings are. But the AC will not give us that information which makes us believe that something illegal took place. And we are trying to figure!
out how to get that information for our children to have so if they ever want to find their sibling they can.
>
> Also, the AC did not even have the information that the last child we adopted had three other siblings. She told us that herself. The orphanage director told us her baby brother had died but we have no records of that so we are not sure. And the older brother and sister who our daughter really cares for we can't even find out where they are or why they are not on record at the AC. We were promised that information by the orphanage director while in Ukraine but we still can't get it from her.
>
> I hate to sound so negative, but I do feel like it's important to be honest with people who are about to go to Ukraine so they won't be so stunned by the corruption like we were. But to help clear some of the negative out of the way I have to really encourage people to consider children who are not babies.
>
> As hard as it is to find a healthy baby, it is easy to find a healthy, wonderful child who is not a baby. And they are so deserving of good homes and good parents. And if you let yourself get out of the competition for a baby, you will have such a pleasant experience finding a wonderful loving child who will appreciate a home and a mom and a dad. And I have to say that a child who is old enough to know what it means to be without, and then to have a home and a mom and dad who love them, it gives them a depth to their character that most people will never attain. And I am so excited to see every day what they are doing with their new lives and I know they will have a wonderful future and will bring great joy to those who love and know them.
>
> And if anyone is bothered by anything I've said here, please don't waste your time fussing at me. It won't change my experience or what I know one bit. I won't respond to anyone who wants to tell me I didn't experience this. If there is anyone who wants more information from me, I will try to help you in any way I can. My only desire now is to help find homes for all the wonderful children that most people don't consider because they're over 2. If anyone reads this and ends up going to Simferopol and adopting, let me know because I probably have pictures and video of your child in the hundreds of pictures we took there and hours of video, and I would love to share that with you. I know how important it is to get any earlier pictures or info about children we adopt.
>
> I sincerely hope I have in no way discouraged people from going to Ukraine and adopting. Please go and give a wonderful child a good home. You will be truly blessed. But I just really wish someone had been completely honest with us before we went. We were told by our translators not to spread information and I have really been hesitant about what to write. There is much fear there about spreading information, and maybe that's why no one had spread this kind of information to us before we went. But I believe that truth shines light, and it will take a lot of light to lift the darkness in Ukraine. As long as there is darkness, evil can thrive.
>
> Best wishes to all as we look for our children!
>
> Aprill and David

[Kimberly H]

Neve,

The bad parts of that story are the main "real" reasons we avoided the former Soviet countries. We heard over and over and over how people were asked for more $$ after they arrived, they had to spend more time in-country, etc. At the adoption seminar offered by our homestudy agency, we spoke with 3 families who'd adopted from Russia, Georgia and one other Soviet country and they all had some kind of similar story.

More importantly, we felt our daughter was in China. If you feel your child/children are in Ukraine, then you need to go. You're doing the right thing with research, research and MORE research.

[mama2be]

For some reason I do feel like my children are in Europe...maybe because I grew up there for 7 years!!!... and we think we'll live there or Australia in about 4-5 years...

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Awesome info on Ukraine, traveling there etc.. Lonely Planet makes great tourist books and this is some great info on the country in general.
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/destinat...kraine/get.htm
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I think this site has some excellent info, this also seems like a facilitator of sorts, I have planned to hire a gentleman named Oleg to help us, but if something were to fall thru with him I think this compnay might be who I would use. I am impressed that somewhere I saw they will answer questions and help even if you are not signed up with them 9I might be wrong but think I read that somewhere).

I found thier explanation of forms to be the best, and their cost outlined to be the best. I also think this is the site that has a map of the regions and from their stats have "ranked" regions on how they work with you and how the judges work there.
http://www.adopt-sense.com/fees&forms.htm#FEES

This site is full of info...I liek that they had forms you could use as a template.
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/page/0,,id%3D16260,00.html
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

http://www.vitalchek.com/

Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

This is hands down the best group I interviewed in NC, infact i'd steer folks very clear of one gal I interviewed with another agency that was affiliated with a "ministry". This is a very important choice, some folks feel like they have to stress, get every spec out of their lundry room etc...hire someone who treats you with respect and not like they are god (and many do treat you this way from what I have heard). One gal I interviewed actually said she does not approve anyone for 2 children because she thinks it is more than folks can handle. This same gal literally tried to talk me out of adopting due to Tristan's age...I feel like I'm a big girl and can decide what I think I cant ake on. Keep in mind she idd not voice these opionions to me becasue she knew us and concluded that she voiced these within a minute on the phone while I interviewed her. Interview your social worker...they play a very important part in the fate of your adoption...do not hire anyone that you are intimidated by...
I LOVED THIS CREW AND WOULD BET YOU WOULD LOVE THEM
http://www.nathansonadopt.com/index.php
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Filled with facts about Ukraine
http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/...k/geos/up.html
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

http://www.wunderground.com/global/stations/33345.html
Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties