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  1. #1
    hjdong Guest

    Default visit to the orphanage?

    Hi everyone -I'm hoping for some opinions. I just got our travel schedule for inside China. In China, unlike the great Ukraine story Neve posted, your child is generally delivered to you someplace other than the orphanage, in our case our hotel the first day we arrive in the city he's in. While I hate the system, and think it probably makes the transition harder for the kids, it is what it is.

    Now, on our schedule, five days after we get Jamie (who will be 19 months), we have an optional visit to the orphanage. I'm really conflicted by this. I would like to see the orphanage, where he's lived, to meet his caretakers, and to be able to tell him something more about this part of his past. However, I'm not sure I'll be comfortable taking him back there after only five days in our care. Will that be too hard on him. And I'm also not sure about one of us leaving him and going on our own to the orphanage after only five days (especially because it would most likely be me because Chinese babies are known for normally attching to their fathers first - I don't want to leave him after only 5 days and I can't imgaine my DH will want to either).

    Any opinions, thoughts, suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
    NEVE and TRISTAN Guest

    Default RE: visit to the orphanage?

    I'm typing one handed w/ T in hands so bare with me...

    First I want to say what ever you decide you will do wonderfully!!!
    BUT if it were me I'd HAVE to go to the orphanage...
    at Jamie's age I don't think it will be hard on him, really at any age I am not certain how "hard" that would be. The good news is many of these children associate the orphanges with good, love , friends etc...from what I hear.

    I would so have to hug and thank the ladies who have taken care of my little one...I'd have to see where he slept, went to the bathroom...and most of all who his friend's were...

    I worry that the caregivers or the ones that grab him to meet you might not have let him really have his "good byes" so this might be a perfect way to assure that it is done...

    I would go...I'd take a gift to the children...and maybe something to his care givers...but I would have to hug the ones who brought him up thus far...that would be such an important part of it to me...

    I look forward to what others say...the good news is there is no right or wrong..what ever you decide will be the right one..:)

    I can't wait for you...I am so excited for you :)
    AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
    and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
    Feb 25, 2003
    Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

  3. #3
    AdoptChina Guest

    Default RE: visit to the orphanage?

    I went to the orphanage while Makenna agency rep had a sister & she stayed at the hotel with Makenna. I HAD to see where my baby lived for the first 9 months of her life and was lucky enough to get pictures of her room, her bed, other kids etc.

    (I never heard that the kids typically attach to the fathers daughter wouldnt go near DH at all.....took her time to warm up to him....she was like velcro baby with me lol)

  4. #4
    Kimberly H Guest

    Default RE: visit to the orphanage?

    Holly, I'd have visited Tongling if we had the opportunity but the weather was bad and the orphanage is 3+ hours away on winding and dangerous roads.

    Wait to decide how you'll handle Jamie going and who might stay behind. Mia attached to both of us and I was able to leave her with Daddy to do some running around town. We would have taken her back to Tongling with us, but that was right for US and'll figure it out.

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