Am I the only one offended by 20/20's show on "eliminating" couples

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Barbara Walters (who I normally adore!!!!!) is advertising a show coming up next week and she even kind of said as if to call it after a game show "who is going to get this baby???????", and then compared it to like survicor "5 couples wanting one baby who will she choose watch them get eliminated"...is this not GROSS...???????????

I have a problem with the plugging of this, I know her daughter is adopted so she is obviously sensitive but this seems tacky to me...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Melanie]

hhmmm...didn't see it. Do you mean the show is offensive or the way she teased it?

[kijip]

I find the concept for the show really crass. Like a bad April fools joke that somehow made it out of the boardroom...I hope no one watches so that nothing like this ever airs again...vote with your remotes and stay away!

[brigmaman]

Neve, I had lots of questions after I read your post. I did some quick searching. Here is a link to an article I found on a link from the adoption agency's page.
http://www.achildswaiting.com/bw_press.html

I'm unclear about a few things. Do families usually have such a short time to meet with birth mothers? Is this process realistic?
I do agree that the whole "gameshow" aspect of this special is offensive.

I would think Barbara Walters would want this piece to be informative. She probably could have promoted it more tastefully.

[smkinc]

This makes me positively sick!!!!! I read the press release and I can say I would NEVER use an agency that would participate in a program like this.

More of the #$?#@? media hyping how desperate adoptive parents are to get the 'perfect' baby. When in fact there are more babies available than the media would have us believe (yes they may be of a differnt race or have a mental health history or be exposed to drugs/alcohol in the womb--but more times than not--completly healthy babies that need good families!!!)

First off, our agency was VERY up front that a Birthmother this young more likely than not will end up choosing to keep the baby. Secondly, Barbara should know better.

I will not be tuning in for this one. Even if it ends up being tastefully done, the way it is being sold just sickens me.

Okay--got that off my chest :) .

Mary
Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03
and our 'first' Curie (6 year old Golden Retriever)

[Melanie]

Well, do you think that 20/20 is just documenting the reality or do you think they're creating it? (honestly...just asking...I don't know)

[brigmaman]

I was wondering,too. I know nothing about the process. Did they set up this particular adoption, or did they just document and market it in this strange way?

[sbjf]

CLick on this link and then go to the bottom where it says 20/20
http://www.achildswaiting.com/

Here's another link of interest...
http://boards.abcnews.go.com/cgi/abc...8150&move=next

You're not alone. It's appalling!!!!!!!!!

ABC, 20/20, and that adoption agency are getting flooded with emails, calls and letters about this distasteful show/segment.

The other adoption community I visit is in an absolute uproar over it and have begun sending in their emails.

One mom received this letter back from the agency:

The mom wrote:

"A form letter. I'm sure they are getting flooded!"

Dear XXXXX,

I appreciate your letter. Our agency certainly does not want to portray adoption of any kind in a negative light. Unfortunately, we did not have control over how the show was edited. Jessica, the birthmother, wanted to show other women like herself that there is an alternative to abortion. She is a wonderful young woman who cares deeply for her son. We supported her decision to do the show with ABC and are hopeful that someone like Barbara Walters, an adoptive mother herself, will be sensitive to all parties involved.

We hope that there will be a positive message for those in the general
population who are uneducated about the wonderful option of "openness". Our agency has so many wonderful stories of successful open adoptions in which the person who benefits the most is the child.

I know ABC hopes to add entertainment value to attract viewers but, the pro's outweigh the con's in that a large audience of people will now see that this is a loving option for someone experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.

Thanks again for your comments.

Take care!

Sincerely,

Crissy Kolarik, PCC

CO-Director

End letter...............

But what makes me angry is that 20/20 does plenty of serious shows that do not have that tacky 'entertainment value' added for ratings, why would they do that with this topic? They don't need to and it's offensive to all involved.

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I don't know...but there is a way to document this and it would be a great story....but to drum it up like "survivor" and to say "which family will be eliminated" just makes me sick.

I'm not upset that such a story is interesting or that it is being shown, I think it could be done in a great way...but to describe it the way they are and DRUM ROLL "whose going to get THIS baby??????" is gross....

Might not be to others but it is to me!!!!!!!

Show the interviews...show how the girl interviews...show how she decides....show who she picks...but to portray it like a game show with such jargon is AWFUL!!!!!
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I haven't even discussed it or seen it discussed in any of my adoption groups...and thought long and hard to not even bring it up, so I am happy that you shared this since I have not seen the buzz...and when I posted it here I had just come up to vent after seeing the ad....

You are correct they do many great shows and don't need tacky advertising...
Again I like Barbara Walters but she deserves any flaming she gets on this one for she might not have written the ad but she was the one reciting it...and she has enough pull to have changed that approach I have no doubt!!!!!!!!

So glad that there is a backlash and I highly suspect they will be changing their method of reporting this...I betcha!!!!

Thank you again for sharing!!!!

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties