Am I the only one offended by 20/20's show on "eliminating" couples

[malie]

I think that if I hadn't known about the first promo tonights would not have raised any major red flags with me. Barbara has posted a response on the ABC site something along the lines of "we might" have gone over the top with the promos but please don't judge the show until you watch it.

In the end it's all about rating isn't it? I can't really think that the person who came up with the first promo didn't think that it would offend someone or that it won't be considered over the top. But it did it's job if more people watch the show. Personally I won't because whether it is an accurate picture of how domestic adoption works or not is beside the point now. They made a promo that was offensive and made adoption seem like a game with a child as a prize, I'm not going to reward them by watching the show (since I never watch it anyway)

[Melanie]

>2. The information presented in this same promo suggested
>that the prospective adoptive parents were desperate to have
>THIS child--I can't reference the specific comments because
>the link changed, but one of the couples commented that it was
>all about marketing yourselves. Our agency stressed the
>importance of 'being your self' and that the match process was
>as much about you wanting to add the birthmom/family to your
>extended family as being the one 'chosen' by the
>birthmother.
>

If I was the birthmother and heard that comment, I'd want to change my mind!

ETA - that was TOTALLY THE WRONG QUOTE...sorry. I meant to quote the part about the father saying it was all about marketing.

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Mary thank you for detailing this...also I never would have thought about that and it is so true, an open adoption means you'd have to look a lot clearly at the birth mom to see if you are "open" to her...I can see where that makes your selection process just as studied as thier is...
Thank you
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[smkinc]

No kidding! The line between 'marketing' and lying is likely very thin for some.

Mary
Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03
and our 'first' Curie (6 year old Golden Retriever)

[Melanie]

So of course I had to watch it last night! It was a definite tear-jerker.

What did you all think of it? I think that it was more tastefully done that that teaser suggested. I'm wondering what the prospective adoptive parents will think when they hear why the birth mother passed on them?

[JElaineB]

ETA:~~~POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THE SHOW!~~~

I watched also even though I thought the original promo was terrible! Overall, I think it was well done. It was much like any other 20/20 story; I'm glad it wasn't really a "game show" atmosphere. I did raise my eyebrows at a couple of comments by some of the potential parents (like the "marketing" thing mentioned above) and by the birth mother, but overall I was rooting for almost all of the couples! It was really nice how everything worked out in the end.

I think the saddest part was really the woman who gave up her 2 year old boy! I cannot fathom being where that mother was at in her life. I felt really bad for her. It seems like that was not even an open adoption, maybe she'll never see him again? It was definitely bittersweet, as the adoptive couple was so nice and loving.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[smkinc]

I didn't watch. I wasn't specifically boycotting, but by the time I thought of watching it, it was already over.

I guess I'll have to try to catch the rerun this summer.

Mary
Mom to Jeremiah 2/4/03
and our 'first' Curie (6 year old Golden Retriever)

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I thought he was, or should I say assumed he was and that they were following him for a good amount of time.
I did not watch it, slight boycott reason I think...
But I have no doubt that the show last night was not the one they would have aired if there was not a huge stink...

I of course don't know the "marketing" term and how it was used, but it might seem like a good word for an exhausted couple putting together a portfolio etc... and truely having to "present" themselves in the best light...
I'd hope it was a comment made "off the cuff"...

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[JElaineB]

Neve, the baby the show focused on was a newborn. The birth mother gave him to the adoptive parents before she left the hospital. But they did show a small snippet of another birth mother giving up her 2 year old to one of the 4 adoptive couples that was not chosen by the featured birth mother.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Oh goodness just reading this makes me tear up...I can see why everyone said they cried...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties