Why a name change?

[Melanie]

I've noticed that some of the adoption journals and adoption stories on TV, the parents change the children's names. I am genuinely curious, not trying to be critical, if anyone knows why? I was thinking that perhaps in some cases they desire a more "American" sounding name, but I've noted that sometimes the children already had names that could "fit" in.

Any ideas?

[holliam]

It depends. This discussion comes up often on my adoption lists. Some people do it to Americanize the name. Some people have a special family name they had always planned to use. Some people add a name yet keep the birth name also...the idea here is that the child has names from both her mothers to bring that connection.

I can also tell you what we did and why!

We had no plans for a name for our daughter. We decided we would wait for her referral and see what her given name was and also try to figure out if her name was given by her birthmom or just by the lawyer, etc.

Her name at birth was Yesenia Faviola, which is actually a popular Spanish name. She was named after her birthmom. We knew we wanted to keep her given name. But, my mom immediately couldn't pronounce her name and started calling her "baby Yes". We decided we'd just see if anything came to us.

The night of our referral, we didn't sleep well. At one point I woke up and made my hubby get up and out of the blue I said "what about Lily". He said "Hey, I just thought of that!" It came to us both about the same time totally out of the blue. For many reasons, it's not a name I would have chosen (I'm named after a plant, all the girls in my family have names that end in that "i, ie, or y" sound, etc.) Well, we realized that she named herself. It was her name!

Since then my hubby realized that if you take the last two letters of my name (Holli) "Li" and the first two letters of his name (Liam) "Li", you get "Lili". So, we have no doubt she is named what she is supposed to be named! We are spelling it the traditional Lily way though!

Holli

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

A lot of the children want name changes from what I hear...
Many of these kids have differnt associations with the old name...

I also wanted to share, and meant to put his under you other question...that to get a young child and think they are less institutionalized (IN UKRAINE) than an older child is actually exact opposite. I didn't know this till last week when we met the two boys adopted near me...

BUT many of these older children were born to a mom, house, poor etc... and then put up fro adoption, so many of these older children had "homes" of sorts at one time.....
BABIES for the most part were left at the hospital.

I might be wrong...but this was brought to my attention and made total sense to me...
Thus meaning these older children are less institutionalized.

After seeing and meeting these two young men I would take them hands down...they have opened my eyes to so much, are marvelous...

I will post their web site for you...I can not tell you how well behaved, thankful (though that is not what you expect nor want it is not why folks adopt) but they are clearly in "know" of what they had and what they have.


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Melanie]

Holli, what a beautiful naming-story!

[Melanie]

Yes, I was thinking the same, too. However, if they are older, they still must meet the 14 month wait for Ukrainians, right?

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

I'm almost certain, but in all honesty wouldn't doubt that being waived......I have heard that the NAC (where you get your referals) treats you a little better with no long waits etc if seeking an older child. Now the definition of older varies from what I have read...but many 6 and older will end up on the streets from what I have heard. So I have even heard that there is some type of Preselection with older children in that there are groups who try to help them and if someone hears about a particular child they can travel to see and request that child. I don't think that is written anywhere but they will assist...

Same thing with special needs...but when I say special needs I am not talking about costmetic issues etc... I am talking about more severe cases...

They would love for their older children to be placed, I do know that...


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Melanie]

"but many 6 and older will end up on the streets from what I have heard."

How sad. Does their system not go up to age 18? Not that it would not be sad anyway for them never to have parents.

My GMIL was saying how when she visited Ukraine (and next time I ask I'm going to write down the name of where they're from b/c I keep thinking I will not forget and always do) it was really sad b/c it was a farming area with rich soils but no one had the money for the seeds to grow things anymore. She said it had been the "bread basket" of the USSR.

ETA: "A lot of the children want name changes from what I hear...
Many of these kids have differnt associations with the old name..."

I was thinking about that as well, for the older children.

[Kimberly H]

Melanie, in China the name is usually given by the orphanage officials and has no family meaning to the child. No one we knew would be able to pronounce Han Xia (hahn sheeyah) and we'd already chosen "Mia", planning to use all or part of her Chinese name for her middle name.

Our dearest adoption travel buddies named their daughter "Hannah" in honor of her 'family' name, Han.

Another family we traveled with changed their daughter's name back to her Chinese name as she responded to it and not the name they'd chosen, even after several weeks. The mother is Japanese with a Japanese name so it flows well for them.

Mia will answer to her American name or her Chinese name and we plan to keep it that way. I make sure I use her Chinese name when I'm speaking English (I love you) and her American name when I'm speaking my few phrases of Mandarin (Wo ai ni - I love you) so she hears them mixed, as well as scolding her in both languages with both names. If I'm using THAT VOICE it's just as likely to be Han Xia as it is Mia. ;)

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Oh NO they are not let out at that age...it's just that from what I've heard many children who are not adopted by a certain age are destined to not find families and to one day be on the street. The good news is (and I have heard different things) is that the orphanages fall under the Education Ministries so evidently orphans are given the chance to go to school...but if they decide not to (meaning their versions of college) then they are on the streets...


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Melanie]

Thanks for explaining. You know you don't have to, I'm just curious about it.

I had to chuckle at your scolding voice. Sometimes I say Ds' first name and last name (have yet to add the middle name). And he'll say, "Mama don't say that! Don't say 'Jonah ZXXX.'" LOL. I guess I should make sure I use his first and last name at other times as well.