Adoption costs

[crl]

I totally agree with Neve that it's not about deserving to adopt. People who have biological children incur similar costs, it's just that insurance picks up most of the tab. It is really inequitable, in my view, that people who are building their families through adoption don't have similar support from society.

The tax credit goes a good way to addressing this inequity, but doesn't really solve it. The tax credit is not enough to cover the cost of most adoptions (certainly not ours) and it comes after the fact.

There are companies that offer adoption loans. One possibility is figure out the total cost of your chosen route (domestic, international,etc), then save all but $10,000 of it. Borrow the $10,000 and then repay the loan with the tax credit. I don't mean to suggest that this would necessarily work in your particular circumstances, just a possibility.

Also, keep in mind that you don't have to pay all fees at the same time. For our adoption from China, we paid homestudy and other fees upfront and then had 6 months or so to save to pay for the remainder of the fees and travel costs.

Also, depending on what sort of child you feel able to parent, there are lower cost options. Others have mentioned adopting through the US foster care system. I believe that there are grants and such for adoption special needs children internationally. I think that often works well for people who don't have ready funds but do have good health care benefits--again that may not be your situation. Also, the agency that did our homestudy has a program to help place African American babies domestically. I believe the costs in that program are significantly lower.

I am very sorry that cost is discouraging you and hope that you will continue to search for a way to make this work for your family.

[icunurse]

I'm going to try and not repeat too much of what the other shave said, but they are all correct: adoption through your state is the least costly way, the tax credit is helpful, and most places space out payments. I adopted domestically through an agency and the costs aren't much different than international. The only thing I can say is that if you are willing to consider a child of another race (which it seems that you probably are since you are also interested in international), a lot of agenceis have lower fees for AA or biracial children, as these children are sometimes harder to place. Almost always, though, you would be dealing with a newborn, but ALL fees would be reimbursed by the tax credit. Just a little info.... Oh, and try not to think that you don't "deserve" to adopt because of the costs. The costs are hard for everyone, all "deserving" parents. What's important is that if you're already a good parent, there's another child out there who "deserves" you. Good luck!
Traci

[malie]

In the end, statistically speaking adopting is no more costly then if you were to have a child without medical insurance. Of the truth is that the majority of people have medical insurance when they are pregnant so the cost of all the medical people and the hospital isn't something we ever see. While with a domestic adoption some of your fees come from the mother's living expenses, for an international adoption and at least some of domestic adoption the fees you are paying are for services just like what you would pay without insurance if you were pregnant. My point in all this is that while most of us have no problem financing (taking out a loan) for a car or a home or a college education or even putting a dishwasher or clothing on a credit card and paying over time but for some reason we cringe at the thought of financing an adoption, I think because it's hard to thing in terms of the what we are financing is the services we are paying for. I mention this because for many people if they look at their own views on debt and what they are actually going into debt for currently, it becomes a little easier to think about whether they can afford to finance an adoption

In the end each of us have to be comfort with our own debt level. Since you are interested in adopting a toddler domestically would be going through the foster care system in the USA, which means you would little to no fees. Depending on whether you are able to become a multi-racial family would probably be a huge factor when it comes to what country international (or even domestically depending on the children who are currently in the foster care system). In some countries where children are most typically places as infants or below a certain age, a child who is a bit older may have matching fees associated with them (for example you pay 1/2 the "normal" country fee and the agency pays the other half or you pay 3/4 and the agency pays the remaining 1/4). In other countries children who have medical concerns ranking for mild to moderate to severe, may actually be sponsored in total by the agency in USA for the simple reason that if you are adopting a child with known medical concerns the agency already knows that you are taking on a bigger financial risk (since you may have out of pocket medical expenses you would not have with a child without medical concerns), plus a greater emotional risk and more time will have to be invested in the child's care. That often will make the child "harder" to place. Therefore by placing the child using agency funds, the child who might otherwise never have a "family" is matched with one. Not all special needs or waiting children qualify for that type of match thru an agency

Then there are countries that simply are cheaper or less expensive. For example places where the children are in foster care tend to be more expensive then those where they are not. Places where travel is shorter may be more expensive (but then you have to factor in time also, many people simply can't spend 3 to 6 weeks out of this country). Or countries where there tends to be more hardship or political unrest can also factor in (Africa and Haiti are examples here, although not all programs in Africa or Haiti are in expensive._

People like to say where there is a will, there is a way. I'm not sure that's an accurate statement. I think in the end it's more of a matter of being honest with yourself about what you are actually willing to trade off and what you are able to do emotionally, physically, finanically (perhaps for some people spiritually as well). What I mean is that there are people who simply aren't willing or able to make the trade off of say giving up their cable TV or weekly pizza or heaven help us, their internet connection, not that any of those things alone would be enough to pay for adoption expenses but over time every little bit helps. If you spend $15 a week on pizza that $780 is more than enough to cover the filing of an I-600A for the adoption of an international child. Moving from a high end cable service to basic only probably gets you another $500 a year. Canceling the newspaper and any magazines (since we figure we need the internet to stay sane while we are adopting), probably nets another $100 or so. Things do add up. It's just that most of us don't start "saving" for an adoption 6 years before we do it. If we did the amount of money probably won't seem as bad because we would have a nice stock pile. Instead of us end up going to debt and paying it off after the fact by the same cost cutting measures

None of this is probably very helpful to you and I probably should delete it all but maybe you can find something useful. If you really want to adopt, even if you think you might want to adopt, start saving the small amounts (you can also use the money for something else if you don't adopt) and honestly look at what your priorities are in terms of a child (age, race, healthy, particular country, the amount of travel you can handle). You really might find as you wade through the process than after the tax credit (which currently stands at 10,160 so you in theory pay the gov't less but you've already paid that much in adoption fees) that another 10,000 or so is more doable. Then again if you go through the foster care system in the USA, you fees are not nearly as expense as all and probably with the tax credit your out of pocket turns out to be 0

Wishing you success in whatever you decide

[hjdong]

Other's have already said it, but the cost can be very low if you're willing to adopt an AA or biracial child within the U.S. My sister had a friend who adopted a biracial child and her costs basically worked out to $500.

[jubilee]

Thank you for all the time you put into your message to me. :) It just strikes me as sad that money is such an obsticle when my family is so loving and could provide a happy home for another little one. In our house everyone has everything they need and even several of their wants- but there aren't any "silver spoons".

I wish it was a matter of giving up the "extras" in order to come up with the money. We've pared down extensively in order to have me be a stay at home mom. Our internet service is $9.99 a month, cable is free, we never eat out (even fast food), the only magazines I get are the ones that are free at BRU or at the library, we don't rent movies, I buy most clothes used from Ebay... quite honestly I think I am already the bargain queen... LOL.

In thinking about this, I probably shouldn't have posted my original post. I was just whining. Your post got to the heart of the matter- what am I willing to give up? Am I willing to give up each weekend to fundraise? Am I willing to give up being a stay at home mom to earn money? Am I willing to give up the occassional "treat" like a new toy or game for my sons? Those are hard questions because we don't live a live of excess.

Anyway, thank you everyone for your posts. I have a lot to think about. I will happily celebrate as you all go through your adoptions, and maybe someday you can celebrate with me too.

[malie]

Julie,
you know when I posted my message..I really was speaking in general terms not about you specifically (because for some reason I was pretty sure you weren't living high on the hog spending money without thinking about it)

And I honestly think that you should have posted your message because everyone of us should get to whine every now and then. Even when we 'logically' understand why things are the way they are that doesn't mean we have to like the way they are or that in the grand scheme of things that things seem "fair".

And although it's probably not the way you have been thinking but you might look into the foster care program in your state or the foster to adopt being a foster parent is obviously not for everyone and in the case that is not foster to adopt, you know that the child isn't going to be a part of your family forever but in the end I think if you (speaking in general here not you specifically) can make a positive impact on a child even for a short time period, you have provided that child with love and support and a positive role model which they might not have experienced before in their life and over time that might be the one thing that keeps them going. But like I said I know it isn't for everyone

Whatever path your life takes you on, don't apologize for asking the question that most people think about..how does anyone afford to adopt? And hopefully we will be able celebrate with you a year from now, two years from now, or five years from now

[kransden]

Julie, I really do understand what you are saying. I didn't have any problem ttc or any problems with the pregnancy but gestional diabetes. It would be nice to have a sibling for dd. We have enough love in our hearts that a 2nd child doesn't need to be our actual dna. There are enough children in the world that need a home that we could provide. I too would rather have a toddler. Then you look into all the red tape with domestic adoptions, racial issues etc., and it is a mess. You look overseas and the cost is so high up front and lots of red tape there too. In the end it is easier to just to have another baby of your own and not have to go through this big mess. Meanwhile all those kids still need a home and don't get one because of the all the money and hoops that are put in your way to discourage you.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[hjdong]

Not that I am not frustrated by the cost of international adoption - because trust me I am (and the paperwork is tedious and time consuming but not hard - I think people overstate that part personally), but a lot of the money is put to good uses. For instance, in China, there are approximately 1000 orphanages, 250 of which adopt internationally. The money that China gets from international adoption goes to support the kids who will never be adopted. My agency fee does go to overhead and salaries, but it also goes to support the work they do in countries providing medical care, family reunification, foster care etc. I guess my point is that the money and hoops aren't meant to discourage, it's meant to help the greatest number of kids.

[malie]

And really the hoops for the most part are also suppose to be to protect the children (sometimes it backfires but that's why they are there) Plus honestly the end result is well worth all the annoying and time consuming things you might have to do. With international adoption the whole issue of having to please two gov't can be hard on your nerves BUT really the other countries gov't wants to make sure that a child coming overseas is not going to be placed in a bad situation..there are already enough rumors in different countries about why Americans want children.

[jubilee]

Karin, we are in the same situation. My home is a good home, not rich in money but rich in every other way. I'd love to share that with a child, but like you said it is "easier" to just have another baby of your own.