Can we do another update on everyone?

[Nemesia]

>When we were waiting for our first referral from
>S.Korea (which took 15 months) I decide to repaint every room
>in the house. OF course because I tend not to do the things
>the way I planned I didn't finish. You would think with all
>that time I would have but the laundry room and some of the
>doors are still waiting :)

Thanks for the idea! It certainly would keep me busy. :)

[sidmand]

Thank you everyone for writing where you are in the thought process or physical process...I enjoyed reading the posts although I hesitated when it came to posting my own because I'm not really sure.

I was very gung ho about adoption, but we had such a bad experience with our agency (and then discovered we are pregnant and *knock on wood* so far things have been better than I ever would have thought) that although I still really like the idea of adoption and the finances are there and I'm all for it morally, ethically, and whatever...I'm really not sure how we're going to approach number 2. And I would like there to be at least two--although that's a long way off.

It was hard enough when I was a huge advocate...trying to get our feelings across to family members, that now that I have doubts myself, I wonder how I would be able to convince others. I know that a lot had to do with our agency and we already changed agencies and would go with the new one. And a lot of it may have been that domestic adoption just wasn't the right choice for us. But I honestly don't know. Like I said, the IDEA still sounds perfect for our family, but the actuality was so hard and so painful...I'm not sure I'm up for that again.

But, I've got more than a year to think about it now! I'm sure I'll have a lightbulb moment and all will be clear. At least I hope. :)

Debbie


It's a boy! Now we just need to come up with a name!

[sidmand]

Hi Jennifer,

The waiting is definitely hard. We had a support group in our area for waiting parents and we went...mainly to see what other waiting parents were doing while they were waiting...but we ended up being the only ones there! Not so helpful.

If you haven't already, I would suggest taking an infant CPR course and reading whatever you can get your hands on. We had a great book for family members called "Adoption Is a Family Affair!" that I thought was very helpful. We also joined the local ODS (Open Door Society) chapter and they had a class for adoptive parents on the care of an infants/toddlers. They also had a lending library and you could take books, videos, and audiotapes out at no charge for a month at a time.

I am a huge shopper and that was how I made things more real for myself. I told myself I was only buying things people might not get me or that I would need in the first 24 hours (since I didn't want to have a baby shower until the baby was actually home). I spent a lot (too much if you ask DH) time on these boards and researching various products. But it's how I spent my waiting time.

Good luck. I hope for only the best for you...and keep us posted.


Debbie


It's a boy! Now we just need to come up with a name!

[writeleigh]

Okay, I admit it, I am a lurker on in this forum :) We are seriously considering adopting our second child. Because of the preeclampsia complications I had at the end of my pregnancy with Liam. But, DH and I agree that whatever we decide, we'd like Liam to be a bit older, so we wouldn't be adopting for 2-3 years.

[emmiem]

We came home from China in October with our third daughter and she is doing great. She just started walking and now has 10 teeth! Our house is very full and busy with three girls in all stages of life, infant, preschooler, and teen but I don't really feel done yet. Maybe an older child in a few years.
Michele

[malie]

I guess that's the way with a lot of things in life. The ideas seem perfect the reality is often flawed (of course it sounds like your experience was more than that..an agency that is no good is one of those things that can pretty much put a huge negative experience to the whole idea)

In the end of course adoption is like a pregnancy in the case that some of us sail right thru it and others doubt. It's especially hard when the experience doesn't result in a child in your arms. And as someone who had 2 m/c, I think sometimes a "failed adoption" puts you through the same emotionally ringer (obviously not the physical side of things but emotionally) and even if you don't get to the point of a "failed adoption" (I really hate that phrase but I'm not sure what else to use), it's sort of like every month trying to get pregnant and not getting pregnant. You are doing all the things that you can within your control and it still doesn't work.

In the end however just because you have a bad experience once doesn't mean you would have another one. Sometimes it's really hard to put your heart out there again and sign on with another agency or accept another referral or another match. The leap of faith is bigger then the first time around. Sometimes it's a leap that is right for you and sometimes it isn't.

Whatever you decide to do in the future, I hope that find that your family ends up being more supportive and understands your decisions. :)

[Saartje]

Still dreaming, here. :) I love reading about the process of adoption and the experiences you've had with your children. I'm always rooting for you all!

[mykidzmom]

We have 2 adopted children, both from Guatemala. Our son Alex came home at 7 mos. of age. He has been home for 20 months. Our daughter Sara came home this past Sept., at the age of 18 months. Alex and Sara are 5 months apart in age! :) They are such a blessing to our family, and I can't imagine my life without them. Sara was born w/ a heart defect, and we knew about this when we accepted her referral. Luckily, she won't need surgery right away, and is doing great! During our adoption process we found out she also has a rare skin disorder called Epidermolysis Bullosa Simplex. Her's is the mildest form, and we are very grateful for that. I would love to adopt again, but my husband thinks 5 is enough. :)

[malie]

No I believe the song was "8 is enough" but your husband probably won't go for that would he. Glad your daughter Sara is doing well despite her health issues

[yellowdogmom]

Wow, its been a while since I checked on this forum (I've been hanging out on the stroller forum obsessing about stroller decisions!)

What a great roll-call/update!

My wonderful DS is Theo and is just over a year old. He arrived home from Korea just shy of 6 months old in July and is such a joy and a blessing! He is just such a bright little light in our lives and right now neither DH or I can fathom a #2, but I'm not counting it out ever...maybe in a few years. In my research I looked a lot into China and I still feel like a little piece of my heart is there - so I think if we make a decision to go for #2 we'd look into China. The Korea program was great for us and we had a wonderful experience with Theo's adoption, so I think it would be a big decision (like another child isn't a big decision anyway!)

We're waiting on finalization right now and are hoping we'll get our court date soon.

That's us in a nutshell :)

:) Kristin
Mom to Theo, born 1/12/2004 in Korea ~ home forever 7/6/2004
and Morgan the yellow lab