Does anyone do adoption as a first choice?

[aliceinwonderland]

I am just curious about this. Are there couples who can concieve, etc. easily but yet choose to adopt instead?

DH and I are in this boat and 99% of people think we are complete weirdos. We have one biological child and will adopt the rest of our family. I wish we knew of other people who did this...

e.

[BillK]

I knew a guy once that said he and his wife we're planning on adopting and not even trying to have biological kids but we kinda lost touch - so I'm not sure if they ever followed through. But he always said they both felt they should adopt - like it was their calling - so no - it's not weird and you're not alone. :)

[Karenn]

A girlfriend of mine has two biological children and a third adopted child. She's in the process of adopting a fourth child. She would most likely be able to easily have more biological children, but she really believes in adoption. It never occured to me to think of her as weird. :)

[hjdong]

I wanted to adopt and DH wanted to do the biological thing so we decided on a short time limit of attempting to conceive (6 months - I'm still not sure he realized how ridiculously short this was) and then adopting.

We are the opposite. If we chose to have another (which we most likely won't) we will most likely pursue the biological route more rigorously, simply because insurance covers some of those costs.

[cmdunn1972]

DH and I could probably have conceived had we chosen to go through fertility treatments, but we thought that adoption was a better lifestyle choice for us.

Trust me, you're no 'weirdo'! (ETA: Unless we all are and I wouldn't consider myself weird -- at least not for that reason.) ;) :D

[holliam]

I've always wanted to adopt, since I was like 9 years old. I read this book called "Kim: A Gift from Vietnam". It was written in the early 70s about one family's adoption experience. It touched me in so many ways. (I even tracked down a copy of it when we started our adoption so I could re-read it and there were so many things I had forgotten. The family lived in the same town as I was born and her first Christmas home was when I was born!) During my high school/college years I was very determined to adopt rather than to bring another child into the world while so many had no families.

When I met DH, I think we assumed we would have a biological child and adopt. When TTC didn't work out well, then we lost a child, then we realized we would have to do more invasive fertility treatments, it was a pretty easy decision for us. We finally got to where we wanted to be in life and were able to do it.

I am pretty sure we would have been able to have a biological child with more detailed fertility treatments, but we have our daughter now! :)

I'm approaching 36 now so who knows if we'll adopt another or try the bio route or what.

Holli

[Jenn98]

Yup, count me in. I have wanted to adopt since before I was even married. And after I got married that was our plan - until I got pregnant! Big surprise! I am due in a few weeks. It didn't really affect our adoption plans since we want to adopt from China and neither of us is yet 30, which is their age requirement. We have yet to really talk openly about it with our families since we don't want to deal with anyone telling us we're crazy before we even begin the process. Although, this pregnancy has not been the walk in the park I'd hoped for, so I always jokingly tell the family this is their only biological child from me! They don't like that too much becasue they assume that means we are only having one child.

And my best friend from high school is leaving in a few days to get her son, whom she is adopting internationally. She and her DH have no desire to be pregnant and chose adoption first.

You're not alone, but you're family will tell you you're nuts. I totally understand. I feel no need to pass my genetic code on, and I can't imagine how loving bio vs. adopted kids would be any different. I'm very thankful that I am blessed to be able to experience pregnancy, but I also know that there is a baby girl waiting for us in China and my desire to parent that little girl is just as strong as the desire to parent the baby in my belly right now.

You're not alone :)

Jenn

[emmiem]

We had one biological child 15 years ago and now have two adopted children age 4 and 1. We chose to adopt.
Michele

[MelissaTC]

While I would need to use fertility drugs, I would be able to conceive another child. With regular drug therapy and some weight loss, there is a chance I would naturally conceive another child. But I really feel in my heart that adoption is for us. DH and I have talked in length about opening our hearts and home to 3 more children (as long as finances permit it). We want to adopt 2 girls and 1 boy. Our first DD will be from China. If all goes well, we will probably return there for another DD. We are also considering other countries for a DS. That will be our second adoption.

I truly believe that a child does not have to be born in your belly to be yours. They have to be from your heart. We had always talked about adopting at least one child, after having biological children. I guess God has other plans for us! And that is totally fine by me. I see SN children on waiting lists and fall in love every day.

[Splash]

It was absolutely our first choice and if we lived in any other state we would have several kids by now. Any age, any race, any disability. However, we *had* to have bio kids if we wanted to parent. Thanks FL. The couple who is currently adopting our foster daughters decided to adopt as a first choice as well.
E