Weissbluth sleep question

[C99]

OK, I am biting the bullet here and doing something different to get Nate to sleep longer and more consistently. I've been back and forth between Weissbluth's more CIO approach and Pantley's "gentle" approach and unfortunately, I keep reaching the conclusion that the gentle approach doesn't work for my little stinker as he is up every 2.5 hours all night long. I currently have a cold and just cannot handle the sleep deprivation any longer.

As anyone who has read it can attest, Weissbluth's book (I've read the 2nd edition, I think) doesn't offer concrete steps to take. I can get Nate to sleep at night, but what do I do when he wakes up after 2,3,4 hours of sleep? What do you do when your child wakes up? He currently sleeps w/ a lovey in his crib in his room. Do you acknowledge the waking? Do I go in and tell him that everyone needs sleep including mommy and daddy? Do I ignore him until he goes back to sleep? What?

[bluej]

Ryden currently wakes up often during the night. I use to just go in and stick the paci in w/o waiting to see what he was really doing. Once I stopped automatically going in, I realized he was just laying there talking to himself. I'm still sleep deprived b/c I wake up when he's talking (even w/o the monitor on, I can hear him). I just wait him out. When he's done talking he usually fusses for about five minutes and then goes back to sleep. When he's hungry he wakes up and does more of a wimper/cry thing, so I know to go in and feed him. So I guess my only advice is to figure out what he's doing when he's awake and then decide if it requires you to go in.

[Momof3Labs]

Caroline, what does he do when he wakes up? How long do you wait to go in there? If he isn't screaming, I wouldn't go in. Colin often talks or fusses during the night for a few minutes, and when I used to go in, he would wake up. When I stopped going in, he stopped waking up.

The gentle approach didn't work for us either - going in would just get him more and more worked up.

Are you still nursing?

[C99]

He usually cries when he wakes up. It starts off with a whimper and just sort of escalates to crying or even screaming until I (or my husband) get up and go in there. I usually wait about 5 minutes to see if he's going to re-settle or not (and it's usually not). On nights where I am just so tired that even his crying doesn't keep me awake, it will take him up to an hour to fall back to sleep. But I know he can get himself back to sleep because we have a video monitor and I've seen him cry out, fuss, rub his face around and settle back down to sleep.

I'm still nursing. He breastfed twice and ate a whole jar full of Earth's Best first bananas (he usually only eats 1/2 jar) in the 3.5 hours before he went to sleep, so I know that he didn't go to bed hungry.

[lukkykatt]

DS did not sleep through the night until he was about 11 months old. He would fall to sleep on his own, but would not go back to sleep by himself when he woke up in the middle of the night. I used to nurse him back to sleep in the middle of the night because he would never soothe himself back to sleep - it was just the fastest thing to do. This is probably not what you want to hear though...

If he seems upset, I would definitely go in to make sure that nothing is wrong. If nothing is wrong, then maybe you can get him set up like you do when he goes to sleep at the beginning of the night - with his lovey and music, if you have something like that in his crib, tell him it is time to sleep, and see what happens.

Good luck. They really DO start sleeping through the night at some point!

[C99]

How many times would your son wake up in the middle of the night? Last night, Nate woke up 5 times if you don't count the times that he'd fall back asleep and wake up 2-5 minutes later...if you count those, he woke up 10 times. I honestly do not think he wakes because something is wrong, but wakes because he's in the habit of waking and/or wants to be social with us. At one point last night, I brought him into bed with me in a stupid effort to get some sleep. He finished nursing and then started talking to us and batting at us in a very, "Hey Mom, hey Dad! Let's play!" way.

If he got up once or even twice/night, I'd be OK. But he seems to be the sort of kid who thinks that if 1-2 wakings are good, 5-6 are even better!

He also has a hard time getting to sleep on his own.

[lukkykatt]

After DS got past about 6 months old, he would wake up usually one or two times a night (sometimes 3, but that was more rare).

Ok, if it was me, this is what I would do. I would first try to get him to go to sleep on his own at nap time and at night time. For this, I did follow Weissbluth to a T (except for the part where he says not to leave the house until 4pm!). I used his suggested sleep times, and it was not at all bad, and did not take long at all. What have you been doing at these times to get Nate to sleep?

THEN, once he can get to sleep on his own, I would deal with the night time wakenings. I know, I know it is awful right now, but I think it would be too much crying and too much to deal with for him all at once. Plus, once he can consistently go to sleep on his own, you have a better chance that he can soothe himself to sleep when he wakes up at night. Now, Weissbluth is pretty clear on this part - if he wakes up at night, go in and check on him, make sure everything is ok and then leave and do not go back in. For me, I could not do this, but since you asked, that is what he says to do.

I also checked my Burton White book, because I remembered he addressed this in a less harsh way. He says to go in and check on your child, say something as you approach the crib, and then it is all business. If he needs to be changed, change him in the crib. Then leave and wait 30 minutes. If he is still crying, go back in, check again, give reassurance and say that it is time to sleep, leave and do not go back.

What time are you putting Nate to bed at night? Also, do you have your monitor set low? I keep mine on low, and we also have a white noise machine in our room. That way, every little murmur and rustle doesn't wake me up - just the cries. When he wakes up, have you tried nursing him in his room and putting him right back in his crib? If he realizes night time isn't for socializing, maybe he will stop getting up. Just brainstorming...

Every child and every circumstance is different, so you have to use your intuition too to know what Nate will respond to. I really do feel for you, because both my boys had different sleep issues, and it is hard. Hang in there, and let us know how it is going and how you are doing!

*Edited to add missing word.

[Momof3Labs]

Caroline, what is his daily sleep "schedule"? And, yes, how do you get him to sleep at naps and at bedtime?

Another thought - try giving him a dose of Tylenol (or Motrin) when he goes to bed. Maybe there is some serious teething going on here, and that is what is waking him up at night. Teething pain can start long before you can see the teeth ready to pop through.

[cchavez]

I have the 3rd edition of Weissbluth and he says it is normal for children up until they are 9 months of age to get up twice a nite to eat but any other nite waking should be ignored. I know that would be hard to do......just passing along the information. I am not anti CIO but we just haven't done it yet.....I keep seeing (small)improvements in his sleep so I am not ready for CIO but we have considered that route and may have to go that route some day. GL!!!

[C99]

Every time I see a pattern, it changes, but for the past 2 weeks, he's been going down for a nap around 9 a.m. and again around 1-2 p.m. We start the bedtime routine around 5-5:30 p.m. and he goes down between 5:30-6:30, generally -- all within Weissbluth's suggestions, I think. For naps, I usually nurse him either to sleep or to just-about-to-sleep. Same with bedtime. I think this is part of the problem. I had been nursing him to almost-sleep and then putting him down and he'd sometimes cry for about 1-2 minutes and then sleep, but it was so hard to guess when he was going to cry for a minute or cry for half an hour. If he was still crying after my attempt to put him down, my husband would rock him until he was asleep and then put him down.

I nurse him in the rocking chair in his room before naps and bedtime. Also during nightwakings. I just brought him into my bed a few nights ago out of desperation. Before bed/naptime, I keep all the lights off and the blackout curtains closed. We also play a CD of lullabyes -- the first 5 are for bedtime. The last 4 are for naptime.

He cut 3 of his (currently 4) teeth 2 weeks ago. They're not all the way in, but they are all definitely through the gumline. Motrin/Tylenol don't seem to have any effect on his night-waking, to be honest.

I have a video monitor so I can see him. I keep the sound off on the monitor b/c if he's crying, I can hear it without the monitor.

When he has woken up close after a previous waking/nursing session (so I know he's not hungry), I have gone in and said something to the effect of Burton White's suggestion. If he was complaining before I go in, he is generally screaming after I leave.