16 month old favors one parent over another

[jkravetz]

I'm in desperate need of help!
My 16 month old son seems to prefer to be around me than my husband when we are both together. When we are apart, he is fine with either of us.
He acts totally different when he is around my husband. It's almost like he reverts back to being an infant - doesn't want to walk, wants to be held all the time, wants his pacifier constantly yet with me, he will talk, respond to questions, doesn't need the pacifier, wants to walk, run, and do all the things toddlers do.
Has anyone else had this problem? It's causing a strain on our marriage because of the frustration!
He goes to daycare and the teacher says he acts like a typical toddler just as he does with me. Any suggestions?

[DrSally]

Which parent does he regress with? In any case, I'm prone to believe it will pass and he'll prefer your husband over you at some point! I guess my suggestion would be to have DH spend more time alone with him, and see how that goes. If DH is gone a lot, maybe he misses him. I don't know b/c I don't know all the details. Is there something about your husband that scares him? Sometimes DH uses a loud (not to him) voice and that can make DS cry, since I'm more soft-spoken.

[jkravetz]

He regresses with my husband. When he is around DS gets extremely "whiney" for lack of a better term, wants to be held by him, needs his pacifier and will not respond to my husband when he asks him questions. DH is never gone alot, and we both share responsiblities of taking care of DS (ie - giving him baths, putting him to bed), we rotate each night. Others have said "it's just a phase" - I hope so because tonight DH stayed at work until 9 PM so as not to upset DS :-( I don't think there is anything about my husband that scares him although he does have a speech impediment (sp?) b/c he stutters. Surely that wouldn't do it?
Hopefully it is just a phase!

[DrSally]

It does sound like just a phase. I hope DH doesn't stay away too much and keeps up the regular caretaking of DS. It would be a shame if this got in the way of their relationship.