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  1. #11
    christic Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    Another "thank you for asking this" because I'm curious too.

    Ideally I'd just use my daughter's room, but I assume your supposed to close the door and we live in an old house with touchy doors and 80 years of paint--and there are two of them into her room, one from the hall and one from our bedroom. Anyway, I think you get the picture...she'd go in one and out the other before I'd get even one of them closed properly. So, I've been using her crib (only a couple times so far though) and share the fear of her getting a negative association from one of her favorite places. At this point though it seems like being in her crib has a calming influence on her when she's stressed out.

    I've also tried this little vestibule just inside our front door after reading Burton White's "separation-from-their-favorite-person" or whatever that acronym is. He suggests a gate, you on one side toddler on the other, but again there's not really a good place in our house to do this. The vestibule has a door with glass window panes, but of course the door doesn't really close. For obvious reasons I wouldn't feel comfortable doing a full time-out there but I have used it more Burton White style--just have her there long enough to be upset about not being with me and then back out.

    In the end, the only place I'd really feel comfortable if she was in a full tantrum right now is her crib. Not ideal though I think.


  2. #12
    raynjen Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    We send her to wherever we're not! DD has had time out in our room, living room, vestibule. Sometimes we use a little chair and move it where we want her to be. Last night DH and I were putting away laundry in her room and we had to send her to the living room, "until she could be nice again". That only took about a minute.

    TANGENT - In the last week DD has developed this scream that scares the living daylights out of me. Have you ever read "Little House on the Prarie? I swear this is the war cry that Laura hears the Indians use that make her feel, "as if she were falling; she couldn't hold on to anything; there was nothing solid anywhere." The first time I heard it I literally thought DD had severed a finger or something else equally drastic. It is high pitched, annoying, scary and I HOPE it goes away soon!

    Jen in Okinawa
    Mom to Noelle (2 1/2)

  3. #13
    luvbeinmama Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    Like Jeanette, we use the corner of the hallway (booorrring!), and he has to face the corner. After the TO we make sure he understands why he had a TO. Sometimes he misunderstands, or thinks the minor infraction was what he got the TO for, when he really got it for something major. The hallway sometimes is a problem because DD wants to go down there to comfort him, but we make it work, we don't have too many choices. We decided against the bedroom for the same reason it hasn't been working for some others.... all his toys are in there and we figured he'd just play.

  4. #14
    Sarah1 Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    I do like 1-2-3 Magic, although I really haven't put it into practice yet (it's geared for kids ages 2-12, so I think DD is still a bit young for it). I can see myself using the strategies, though, definitely.

    I was watching Dr. Phil the other day (one of his Parenting 101 shows) and he was saying that sending kids for TO to their rooms isn't always a great idea, because a lot of kids love playing in their rooms. I'm trying to figure out where the best place for us will be, so it's really helpful to hear what everyone else is doing. I think I'll ask my ped at DD's 18-mo checkup about my fear of turning the crib into a "bad place" by using it for TOs, and go from there.

  5. #15
    christic Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    I just took a look at 123 Magic again because I was curious about whether the door should be closed if time-out is in their bedroom--the answer is that they need to stay there for the duration so if it takes a closed door to keep them there then the answer's yes.

    But while paging through the author also addresses the problem of a child in time-out just having a fun time in their room. He says that's fine, only ground rules are no tv and no friends with them (no phone either but we don't have to worry about that just yet :)). It seems that the main points of the time-out are an interruption of whatever they were doing in the first place and a separation from the parent/rest of the family, etc. It's not necessary that the time-out spot have a negative association, so maybe crib is ok afterall.

    In the end it's probably impossible to prevent an imaginative child from entertaining himself wherever he is. Alice has had a grand time in the vestibule with an umbrella. And I keep thinking of that Peanuts cartoon from years and years ago when Lucy was mad at Linus for playing with one of her toys and she takes it away and throws him a rubberband and says "Here, you can play with this." Of course he has even MORE fun stretching the rubberband--so she takes that away too I think.

    So in my mind I guess a time-out spot doesn't have to be completely dismal or boring, just a safe spot to take a break. And a time-out spent playing isn't necessarily ineffective.

    I'm new at this though so who knows ;)?

    Chris

  6. #16
    Join Date
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    We haven't had to use Time Out yet, but I will check out that book for future reference. When I was a toddler I was sent to the bathroom for Time Outs. I can remember going, so I know wasn't too young where drowning would be an issue. I do remember crying into the toilet saying who I loved, my parents weren't among them.

    Sonia
    Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

  7. #17
    cdlamis is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    >I do remember crying into the toilet saying who I loved, my parents
    >weren't among them.

    Sonia- I laughed out loud at your story! Too funny~

    Daniella
    Mom to Julia 6-13-02
    And baby #2 EDD 12-30-04!!

  8. #18
    Momof3Labs is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    So far, our time outs have only been related to food throwing, so I just turn Colin's chair to face the boring curtain on the sliding glass door. It has been so effective though (you mention "time out" when he is toying with his food and he stops and shakes his head NO) that I should probably use it a little more often...
    Single mom to

    DS ("twice exceptional") - September 2002
    DS - February 2006
    DD - July 2009
    DD - July 2009

  9. #19
    himom is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    Is it weird that I put DS in a playpen for timeouts? I thought a ton of people would mention it, but it sounds like I'm the only one.

    We used the bassinet feature on a PNP, then it started just collecting dust for months until he was of "time out" age. Now it gets used a lot!

    For those of you who can just park your kids in corners...how do you get them to STAY?

    Just when I start to think I know what I'm doing, mommyhood throws another curve.

    Jodi
    Mommy to Joshua, born February 2003

  10. #20
    Jeanmick Guest

    Default RE: Where is your time-out spot?

    My DD stands in the corner and for some reason knows that she's supposed to stay there. I don't know how we got to the point where she knows that she's supposed to do that, but right now, she does. Whether she'll do it next time, I don't know. :)

    When my DD was younger she used the FP Infant to Toddler Chair that has a belt feature so she wasn't able to get out. I referenced this chair in a posting above. Here's a link showing what the chair looks like:

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...sPageName=WDVW

    I didn't really start my DD's time outs until she was about two to 2 1/2 years old. She was usually in the chair for no more than a minute and a half to two minutes. As she got older, she would then sit without needing me to use the belt feature. For my DS (who is similar to your DS's age), I don't have him sit in a corner yet. I usually just try to distract him or put him in his enclosed play area which is similar to what you do w/ your PNP. I'll probably start a "true" timeout program for him when he's close to two to 2 1/2 years. HTH!

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