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  1. #1
    jbrandy is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Default 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    MY DS is 15 months old and is developing a really aweful habit of throwing tantrums. It's like the terrible two's really early. He's also started biting and pinching (only me at this point). I am trying to be firm with him -- telling him "no" and making him sit by himself until he's done screaming and crying. He also screams when he can't do something. For example today he wanted to pick up three things at one time to hold them and couldn't (he kept dropping one) he then started screaming, stomping his feet and crying. This is my first child and I would welcome some suggestions for dealing with DS's temper. I think I'm going crazy! I want to discpline my son effectively -- right now I don't feel I'm being very effective.

    I'm open to suggestions!

    Beth
    Evan 4-2003

  2. #2
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    Yes. It's a little known secret that the terrible twos begin in the middle ones. I don't have a lot of advice, but we've been there (and still are). Sometimes ignoring the tantrum works (walking to another room, not acknowledging it, etc.) This used to work pretty well for us, but lately it just escalates the tantrum and he chases me around whining now. Sometimes distraction to another activity works. If I acknowledge the tantrum at all, I usually say something like, "Mommy will talk to you when you use your normal voice" or something like that.

    The biting and pinching I will not tolerate. Period. I tell DS "no" and then we stop whatever we are doing. If I am holding him, I put him down. I explain that we don't bite/pinch. This applies to hitting too (which is more of our problem). This works pretty well, especially if we are doing something fun and then stop.

    Hang in there. You'll develop your own methods for what works best for you and your child.
    Mommy to Justin (13 years) & Ashlyn (8 years)

  3. #3
    hjdong Guest

    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    Jamie went through the screaming when he couldn't do something - and still does if he's tired(just today, for example, when the doggie wouldn't stay in the car when the car was upside down, darn that gravity). Not that this is particularly helpful, but I think this gets better as they get more capable and better able to express themselves (or realise their capabilities better). It used to be frequent, and now it's just when he's tired. I think their just so frustrated and can't express the frustration with words.

    When Jamie hit us, we would hold him on our laps (or for repeated attempts, facing the wall). Not like a nice, snuggly hold (obviously) but sitting facing away from us, with our arms wrapped around his to keep them still (warning - beware of head butts). He is so active that the inability to move drove him mad, when he relaxed (relaxing varing from actually relaxing to stopping screaming depending on how upset he was), he got let go. About two weeks of this and he stopped hitting all together.

    HTH,

  4. #4
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    It sounds to me like he's having problems when he wants to do or say something and just can't yet. That's a very frustrating age. I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that others have BTDT and you aren't alone! He's not abnormal. This is typical behavior.
    Candy

    Matthew 5/02
    Ethan 10/07
    Praying for Pink in 2013/2014

  5. #5
    jbrandy is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    Thanks so much to everyone for your reassurance and ideas. It is good to know that I'm not alone. I am a middle school teacher who is known for good discipline -- in fact last year I was promoted to a specialist/resource teacher to teach other teachers how to have more success in their classrooms in both curriculum and discpline techniques. So....this is difficult for me. I'm used to being very effective with discipline and children in my classroom and yet I feel like I have no control of my son. LOL -- this is why I don't teach pre-school or ele. school. I'm glad to know that this is just one of those stages. We had a terrible tantrum this morning but I put him in his crib and he went to sleep so he was probably more tired than anything else. I intend to be positive and keep trying. Thanks again for everyone's support and advice.

    Thanks!
    Beth
    Evan 4-2003

    PS -- it is so good to see more people migrating to the toddler boards. It is good to have a group of people in the same boat with us sharing experiences and advice!

  6. #6
    slknight is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    He also screams when he can't do something.

    We're having the same problem here. DS is also 15 months old (well, will be on Sunday). It hasn't happened too many times, but has definitely happened. The other evening, he wanted to go outside, and when I closed the door and wouldn't let him, he screamed. Every time he has done it, I have just ignored him. I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do or not, but so far that's what I've been trying. I've also noticed that every time he's had these tantrums, it's been pretty close to bedtime. When he starts doing this, it's my cue to go run the bath because I know he's acting out of frustration from being tired. It's nice to know we're not alone!

  7. #7
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    You've gotten some good advice, hang in there! As my ped said when I asked at her 18 month appt about tantrums, "You are now in the second year, also known as the terrible twos!" He said they typically begin around this time. Lucky us!!!

    Lisa

  8. #8
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    Gabrielle started being terrible right about 16 months. Now at 26 months she's finally getting past it. This too shall pass.... :D

    The things that really helped her the most were being able to communicate and giving her warnings.

    Communication wise, at 16 months, she only signed. When I saw she was starting to have things frustrate her, I taught her to sign 'help'. Then when she'd get mad at something, I'd ask her if she needed 'help, wait for her sign and then help her. Knowing she could ask for 'help' helped a lot!

    The other thing is giving her warnings. As in, "In a few minutes we're going to be done swinging and go inside, take an nap, go bye-bye, take a bath, whatever". Giving her advanced notice of what was going to happen let her have a few minutes to get used to the idea that change was coming.
    ~~AngelaS~~
    Mommy to 3 girls: A, G and M. (15, 11 and 8.5)

    The education of all children, from the moment that they can get along without a mother's care, shall be in state institutions at state expense.
    Karl Marx, "The Communist Manifesto"

  9. #9
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    sntm is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: 15 month -- the terrible ones?!?!?!?!

    One thing I've started doing, on recommendation by several people, is to identify and describe what he is feeling, since a lot of the frustration comes from inability to communicate.

    For example, yesterday, Jack was tired and pitching a fit over getting in the carseat. I first tried distractions (belly kisses, silly faces) which got him buckled in. When he started getting upset again, I told him "You are really frustrated because you are tired and you don't want to be in the carseat. I understand that you are angry with me, and I am sorry that I can't get you out right now, but I need to keep you safe. When we get home, you can get out and get something to eat." It didn't work 100% but he was calmer afterwards. It's a good practice to get into anyway.

    A lot of people have recommended How to Talk So Kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber. I just ordered it, so I can't tell you how it is, but you may want to check it out.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    shannon
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    PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
    mama to Jack 6/6/03

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