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  1. #1
    alkagift is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Jan 2003

    Default Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    My DS just turned 2 and my husband is now, suddenly, wanting to change what we do. I'm not saying I'm firm on the "old" ways of doing things, but I don't want to change for change's sake.

    So, here are the things we do that my husband thinks we ought to change--please feel free to comment on any or all:

    1) Sleeping in a crib: Our Bonavita crib is very tall for our tall child and the top of the rail hits him at about shoulder height. He's not trying to climb out and I've been content to leave things as they are. DH thinks he needs to be in a big boy bed and we can reassemble the crib for baby #2 if I EVER get preggo again (sigh, another topic).

    2) Highchair: He sits fine in the chair, doesn't try to get out, it's good for his size, etc. DH thinks we ought to put him in his own chair (booster in our dining room chairs or Kinderzeat, etc). This is another thing where I just am content to let well enough alone, but DH thinks it's a "maturity" issue.

    3) Rocking chair: Ok, I might agree with DH on this one. The rocking chair in DS's bedroom is used to read stories in every night. After story time, we turn off the light and he sits with us in the dark rocking for 5-10 minutes. I am not the person who usually puts him down, but when I am, he slouches down into my arms into a horizontal position and I'm cradling him. Ok, I love that, it's sweet and cuddly but my DH says that we should just read, turn out light, say good night and put DS in the bed and be done.

    4) Potty training: DS announces that he's pooping and runs behind a chair to do it, but otherwise has shown no interest in the potty seat. In fact the only thing he likes about the potty is the flushing! DH thinks I need to "advance" this somehow. I think DS isn't nearly ready. I am pretty sure I'm right on this one.

    Ok, Sonia, I'm doing my part to get this forum going! What do you guys think? Be honest, I can take it!

    Mommy to Matthew Clayton, who is TWO!

  2. #2
    slknight is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Jun 2003

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    Hmm, well, I don't think you're babying him. Or if you are, we're in that boat together. ;)

    1)Crib - I *wish* DS was still in the crib. He flat-out refused it a few weeks ago (after sleeping with me at the retreat and then being sick and napping on his little Pooh couch). So we have moved him to a twin mattress on the floor. But I don't think there's anything wrong with a 2-year old in a crib. If we had the room, I would have left the crib up in hope he would have changed his mind. I say keep him in as long as you can!

    2)Highchair - I never liked mine, so we did move him to a Kinderzeat about 6 months ago. Not sure how I feel about this one.

    3)Rocking chair - we still have the glider in DS's room too. We read stories and he does often slouch down to a kind of cradling position.

    4)Potty training - no plans to start here either!

    Hope that helps. :)

  3. #3
    mharling Guest

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    As with anything, I don't think there's a right or wrong for any of these. I'll just share our personal experience and add some comments.

    *Crib - We have Lane's big boy bed set up in his room, but he has yet to sleep on it. The plan was to move the crib out of his room for Faye and have him in his bed. He's been a goofy napper lately, so I'm not inclined to throw anything else into the mix. We've decided to let Faye sleep in the bassinet of the PNP for a little while and deal with this later.

    *Highchair - Lane would not stop standing up in the high chair (even with the harness) and I was scared to death he would fall. We ended up with a Kinderzeat and I cannot tell you how much I love this thing! He can get in and out himself and I think it's actually *more* difficult for him to try to stand up.

    *Rocking chair - We never had a rocking chair in Lane's room, so I can't speak from personal experience. My gut says if you're happy diong it, keep doing it. Sadly, a time will come when he probably won't want to snuggle and rock, so I'd savor it as long as I could. Lane has just recently wanted to start snuggling for a while when he gets up from his nap. I love it!!!!

    *Potty training - Pre-ds, dh said that he wanted our potty kids trained by the time there were 2 (ok, dear). Once reality hit, he realized that that wasn't necessarily realistic. I personally don't think you can 'advance' it, just be mindful of his signs and follow his lead. Lane has been peeing on the potty for a while now and announces when he has pooped. I have a feeling we'll start this summer.

    HTH!!! You can remind your dh that Matthew won't sleep in a crib, sit in a highchair, snuggle in a rocking chair or NOT be potty-trained when he goes off to college. :)

    Lane - April 2003
    Faye - March 2005

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    OH, USA.

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    I don't think you are babying him at all! My DS is 3 - here's what we did.

    1. Crib - moved him to bed about 3 months before 3rd b-day.

    2. Highchair - bought a Kinderzeat when he was 2.5 or so. I don't plan on moving my 20month old DD anytime soon either.

    3. Rocking chair - used it every night before the move to bed. I also read to him and rocked him while I sang songs - most often cradled "baby-style" in my arms. Once he moved to his big boy bed, he wanted me to lay with him there and read and sing. I miss rocking him but he still lets me hold him that way in the mornings when he gets up! Now the rocker is a clothing holder! I was just deciding yesterday that I need to get DH to move it to DD's room. (we have another one in there that is borrowed from my brother)

    4. Potty - we started about 28 months then got de-railed when we adopted DD. Did it off and on until I finally got serious with him just after Christmas and it happened quickly - just 6 weeks or so before 3rd b-day. He did have a potty by the time he turned 2 and was sitting on it before his bath at night and going pee sometimes! I agree your DS might not be interested. Mine was interested in using it but only when it suited him! He has a friend that just turned 3 and still has no interest in using the potty - it's driving his mom crazy!

    OK, that's how things worked around here! Probably won't do much different with DD - except maybe the potty. I'm hoping that girls do train earlier and that having an older sibling using the potty will help! I'm ready to be done with diapers!!

  5. #5
    bluej Guest

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    Ryden just turned 2 so I'll tell where we are at so you can compare what some other moms of 2yo are doing (I personally don't think you are babying him).

    1) Ryden loves his crib, he doesn't try to climb out and he readily goes into it at naptime and bedtime. I think I'm going to keep him in his crib until it's an issue. DH on the other hand doesn't want to put his crib back up when we move, but set up his bed instead. I'm pretty sure I'm going to stand strong on this issue (unless I keep looking at bedding, then I'll certainly cave b/c I LOVE bedding and look for any excuse to buy new bedding). Anyway, if Matthew is happy in his crib, I'd keep him there until you are ready to deal with any transition issues that arise when you switch to a bed.

    2) We use our high chair about 50% of the time. When Alex and Caden are home, Ryden wants to sit at the table with them. When they are at school he sits in the highchair with no complaints. I prefer the highchair, but I think he'll probably be ditching that now that the kids are out of school for the summer. FWIW, my other two used their highchairs until they were almost 3! That sounds so old, but hey, it worked for us!

    3) Ryden doesn't like to be rocked on a regular basis anymore so I'm completely envious that Matthew still enjoys being rocked. I say rock him for as long as he will let you. Some day it will come to an end and you will never be able to go back and get more rocking time. Treasure those quiet moments.

    4) If Matthew isn't ready, then pushing him to advance in potty training is actually going to hinder any progress. When kids are really ready to potty train it can happen very quickly. If the parents are pushing it, it takes a VERY long time. Knowing when he has to go potty and hiding to do it are great signs, but really, he has to WANT to sit on the potty in order for this to work. You can encourage that with videos and books, but there's no guarentee that he'll be willing to sit on the potty anytime soon (but it's great if he does!).

    Okay, so all of this is coming from a mom who's 2 yo is her last baby and I admittedly will be babying him for as long as he will allow :) But the truth is, they grow up so fast, there really is no need to rush to make changes if what you are currently doing is working. I would make changes as the needs change (climbing out of crib, thrashing in the high chair, etc).

  6. #6
    deborah_r is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    California, USA.

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    >1) Sleeping in a crib: With all the problems I hear people having when they move a 2 year old to a bed, I'd say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Somebody just said in the BB Lounge that Weissbluth's new book recommends 3 as the ideal age to switch.
    >2) Highchair: I think as long as the highchair is pulled up to the table so it is like he is eating with you guys, then it is fine. I wanted to switch, mostly because I want a cool Kinderzeat, but I can't justify it because it works fine. We ditched the tray a long time ago, pull him right up to the table (it has 7 height adjustments, so I can get him at the perfect height) and he finally doesn't need to be strapped in. If you have him separate from the table and eating at a tray, I'd agree with your DH that something needs to change. i think he should be AT the table WITH you, not in his own space. JMO.

    >3) Rocking chair: Again, if that's all the rocking and stuff you have to do, I'd stay with it. It's another if it ain't broke situation, IMO. I think he will let you know when he doesn't need that cuddling anymore.

    >4) Potty training: If he's not showing interest, what can you do? Force him to sit on the potty? He sounds like he's not ready to me.

    Edit: ended that abruptly because the phone was ringing, didn't want to sound snippy! I struggle with these issues too, but I think your DH is creating problems where there aren't any. Sounds like maybe somebody has been getting in his ear about you guys "babying" Matthew?!? I hope you guys can get on the same page with this stuff!
    Mama to my guys, K (May '03) and Q (June '07)

  7. #7
    Phoebe Guest

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    I hate to be mean to your husband, but he's wrong about everything (everything in your post anyway!).

    My take on it would be 'leave well enough alone'. Is your dh looking for a fight?

    My son will turn two in a couple of weeks and here's where we are on the same issues:

    crib - he'll be there until he can climb out or doesn't want to be there.

    high chair - I've only used booster seat with tray for him. And lately, I've been feeding both kids at a little kid table in the living room. But if he liked a high chair I wouldn't kick him out.

    rocking chair - I can think of no logical reason to take it out of your son's room. That cuddly time is important.

    potty - he'll let you know when he's ready. I tried to make it happen a little early with my dd and it was a mistake. She did it on her own at 3 year, 1 month.

    DD 4/01
    DS 6/03

  8. #8
    younhiekim Guest

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    I don't really have much input except for the highchair issue. Zara's still in a highchair but we've scooted the highchair to the table. I haven't moved her to a booster nor Kinderzeat only b/c the highchair works for us. Also, Zara's now feeding herself and meals are verrry messy now. I like that I can wash the highchair cover and wipe down the seat, although I suppose one can do that in a booster and/or Kinderzeat (although I don't own either, so I don't know).

    -- YounHie

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    The Triangle

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    You aren't babying him

    Crib: As long as he likes it I don't think it's a problem. Martie just wanted to sleep in a big bed so we moved her.

    High chair: Our high chair was a handme down from my SIL and I noticed mold growing in the stuffing part so we threw it away. Martie is now in a cushy tushy booster in a chair. DH would not let me get a kinderzeat.

    Rocking chair: There's nothing wrong with snuggling.

    Potty training: We are no where near that.

    Mommy to my Strawberry Shortcake lovin' Martie

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    The Triangle, North Carolina

    Default RE: Ok, is he too OLD for this stuff? Am I babying him?

    No I don't think you are babying him....

    1. Matthew was moved to a toddler bed at 22 months. Little Houdini was desperately trying to climb out. His legs were getting stuck between the bars and we were afraid he was going to hurt himself. If he hadn't done that, we would have left him in there until????? Trust me, the morning wake-up calls are not so cute anymore. He runs into our room declaring "Mommy! Daddy! It's not dark anymore! Wake up!!!"

    2. Why move him if he is happy? Isn't it easier, keeping the "messes" contained?

    3. Rock that baby until he doesn't want to anymore. What a sweet thing to do!

    4. Um...I can speak from experience...even when you think they are ready...they aren't. *SIGH*
    Mom to M (2002) & M (2014)

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