Aggressive toddler behavior...who has been there???

[Sarah1]

Audrey can just be a real bully sometimes. Pushing, hitting, pulling, throwing, you name it. I am SO mortified by her behavior, esp when I'm around other parents who don't know me--I feel like they think I'm an awful parent.

I immediately put her in time-out or we leave wherever we are if she is acting out (ie. if we're at the park and she throws wood chips at another kid and doesn't stop after a warning, we leave). So, I feel like I'm being as consistent and firm as I can in disciplining her, and I feel like the behavior is under control--it's not getting worse. But it isn't really getting better!

I just never thought I would be the parent of a kid--let alone, a cute little girl--who pushes and hits. Waaaaaaaah. Can anyone commisserate??????

[Hallie_D]

Read the thread about biting! :-)

Elijah isn't much of a bully, but he did go through a biting phase and is just coming off of a horrible screaming phase ("I want to look at the trucks RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!" in the middle of a store, etc.). It is all perfectly normal toddler behavior, but still so mortifying to parents. It sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing. Any parent who saw how YOU reacted would know that you are not an awful parent. An awful parent is the one who sees her child being a bully and does nothing at all.

There is a reason they call them the terrible twos! You are being consistent, so this too (two!) shall pass.

[californiagirl]

Mine is almost 16 months now. According to daycare, "she's a fighter". (I keep pointing that out to the mother of her best friend -- he's a biter.) It's not that she's mean, really. She just wants what she wants. Which is usually what someone else has. So she takes it away from them by force. She doesn't do it at home that I've noticed (mostly the only things she tries to take away from us are things she's not allowed to have anyway, like my cell phone or my wallet or the computer). I have no idea what to do about it.

[pixelprincess]

Rowan has been exhibiting some of the behavior- pushing and hitting mostly. This is fairly recent for us...so has shocked me completely. He used to not care about his toys being played with, etc. Partly, for him he has had to stand up for himself as he is in a class with older kids in daycare.

At a recent playdate with a younger little girl he pushed her to retreive his toy. And then made the observation "baby crying". I told him that pushing the little girl has made her sad and cry. He gave her back her toy. Not sure if one can appeal to their feelings? It seems to work at times.

Our ped just told me if you think twos are bad, watch out for threes! eeeek.

[alleyoop]

Offstage, hear Baby suddenly screaming. Mother runs in to find DD beside herself, DS creaping or running away.
Mother: "What did you do?"
DS: "Making Claire cry!"

Ugh! There was the biting of the hand/feet stage, the pouring whole pail of water on her head stage, the swiping her hands out from under her while she is cruising stage(we see alot of this one), and my personal favorite from today... opening tube of sunscreen and putting a huge glob of it IN HER EYE! I have graduated from time-outs to time-alone-in-your-room-because-you-cannot-be-around-others. Or maybe it should be named time-alone-in-your-room-because-your-mother-cannot-even-look-at-your-face.

So, spanking... remind me why I don't want to do this?? :*

[jd11365]

Um, me. It is so mortifying. I was so embarassed at the retreat when Kayla kept trying to be aggressive with some of the other kids. I feel for you totally. She can be the sweetest little girl ever, but then she'll go off and do something like push or pull hair, and you feel horrible. I just hope it ends soon!

Hugs!

[squimp]

We were hanging out with friends this week, and all the little girls hopped into the kiddie pool together. It was pretty cute, 4 little naki girls between 21 and 34 months playing together. The DD pushed one of the lil girls out of the pool. Totally unprovoked. Kinda like Elaine on Seinfeld's "Get....Out!". And DD has been pushing other kids at school. So we're in a dilemma of trying to figure out how to handle it. We're trying to appeal to the fact that it hurts other kids (along this lines of pixelprincess). We also know that she is a quick study, so hopefully this will pass.....

but it does really make me feel bad as her mom. What I am teaching her??? She pushes kids no matter the age, so I'm concerned she'll mess with a 5-year-old and get clobbered!

[TraciG]

I have to watch Sydney at the park, she grabs, sometimes hit's, so I guess they all do it at some point, after Sydney does this I say nice & she know's nice now or i'll no be nice, gentle & i'll say gives kisses & she always does, at least it makes the other kid feel better, but yes it's embarrassing !

I haven't started time out's yet, our pediatrician said to start at 2 so we have 3 more months .

[squimp]

We've started talking about how "we don't push our friends", and telling her about being nice. We've been talking about gentle for eons with the cats, and generally she's good with them. It's mainly when she's excited that she pushes.

In talking with the folks at school, DD is not really unusual, and it's so common at this age. But it's hard when I see it!