"I don't liiiiiiike him"

[trumansmom]

Yuck. DS is going through a phase where he announces regularly that he doesn't like someone. He does it loudly. He does it often. And now he's started saying it in their presence. The most frustrating thing is that it's usually someone that I *know* he likes! Example - our babysitter. She takes him all kinds of fun places and lets him do all kinds of stuff that I'm not supposed to know about and would normally disapprove of, and he always comes home and says he had a great time. And then, "But I don't liiiiiiiiike Melinda." Argh! And today, a friend dropped by and brought her children to play with Truman. There was a little boy his exact age, and they played together nicely all day long. (They stayed here forever!!) As they were leaving I made the mistake of saying to DS, "Did you have fun with Isaac? Would you like for him to come play with us again?" Oops. DS replied, "No! I don't liiiiiiike Isaac." I was mortified.

How do I handle this? How can I get him to understand how hurtful it is to say things like this? I've tried to talk to him at different times to find out why he says it, but he never really answers me. Or he'll tell me something and then tell me he made it up. At my wit's end on this one!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[californiagirl]

Hmmm. Can you try guessing why he's saying it, in the hope that he'll correct you if you're wrong? Is he saying it just to get a rise out of you, in which case being very calm about it might help? Is it about a confused kid notion of what it means to like somebody, in which case you could talk about how you can like lots of people at once, and you can like some people more than others but you still like them all, and you can like people but want to do something else?