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  1. #1
    jenmcadams is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Mar 2002

    Default Dealing with the Stalling Queen (Cross Posted with BBB Lounge)

    My DD has become an expert staller, particularly at nap time and bed time. Both my DH and I are pretty firm and rarely give in to her stall tactics, but the latest one is throwing us for a loop. She's recently (last two months) potty-trained (only wears a pull-up/diaper at nap times and bed time and often wakes up dry, so we're getting close to trying some sleep time training). The situation is that no matter how often we have her go potty before bed time and no matter how much we restrict liquids in the last hour or so, we inevitably get the "I have to go potty" whine within 5 minutes of tucking her in. We still help her with wiping and pulling up pants, etc., so we take her to the potty and typically she barely goes at all (i.e. she didn't really need to go). This can repeat itself several times per night (all within the first 30 minutes or so after tucking her in) and is 99% of the time just a stall tactic...she doesn't really need to go. During the day, she only goes potty when she really need to (i.e. no small trickle potty trips), so I don't think this is a bladder/physical issue, just a stalling tactic. Anyone else have this problem? My inclination is that there's something wrong with just telling her to go in her pull-up, but it's tempting to tell her no more potty trips.

    Any advice?
    Mom to a DD (8/02) and a DS (6/05)

  2. #2
    jlcana Guest

    Default RE: Dealing with the Stalling Queen (Cross Posted with BBB Lounge)

    We tell DS 1 that he'll just have to wait until morning if he just went potty before bedtime. He has never went in his nighttime diaper at bedtime and will only go in it the next morning if he doesn't make it to the potty. I will make an exception if he drank a lot of liquids before bedtime but that's rarely the case.

    I know this sounds mean, but if DS really needs to go he will get out of bed, take off his diaper and go. We then put the diaper back on but this rarely happens. We nipped this stall tactic really quickly and and nipped the "I'm thirsty" by always having a sippy with a little water in it on his dresser at night.

    Looking forward to potty training DS 2 late next year!

    Christopher 3/18/02
    Andrew 9/28/04

  3. #3
    hjdong Guest

    Default RE: Dealing with the Stalling Queen (Cross Posted with BBB Lounge)

    DS also did this. I think its totally normal, and at the beginning of potty training, it's really hard to say no. The have the power and they weild it well. Acutally, it wasn't at nighttime that I got strict; it was the 5th time in an hour at the grocery store. I told him that was the last time and now he's allowed one potty break at the grocery store, which he rarely uses.

    Someone here suggested moving the potty into the bedroom at night, which rapidly took the fun out of going potty at night. He didn't get to leave the room, the light stayed off. The only bonus was getting out of bed, and mom was mad. He gave it up quickly. Unlike the PP he still goes at night, and I'm really not worried about it. I figure it's a physiological issue and when he's ready, he'll be ready.


  4. #4
    wendmatt is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    San Antonio TX

    Default RE: Dealing with the Stalling Queen (Cross Posted with BBB Lounge)

    DD did this alot when she first potty trained. She still does it a bit but not as many times as before. I factor in a trip to the potty in our bedtime routine! After stories are done and I say into bed now, she always says "I need to go pooh" and will sit on the potty for 20 mins! I haven't been able to break her of it yet and she has pooping probs so I always let her go, I just make sure I leave enough time for it! Sorry no advice.

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