Doc says Ferber method to sleep

[TraciG]

I am DREADIMG tonight but I am going to do this ,I have no other choice, the doc says she will learn to sleep this way, have to be consistent, says she should be in her crib between 7 - 8 :00.

Wish me luck I'll need it :(

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Traci,
I know nothing about any sleep training...but wanted to let you know my PED who I think the world of, and I think a good 4-5 of us here go to him also recommends FERBER. I am not endorsing, nor am I offering any opinion for I do not know anything about sleep training...but felt the need to share that with you.

Now when he recommends it (at what age) I do not know!!!!!!!

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[nc_hope]

Neve,

If you don't mind me asking (since I am also in the Raleigh area) who is your PED? I'm just curious if we happen to have the same one, especially since you mentioned that so many others also use the same person. I understand if you'd rather not say.

TIA!
Hope

[mcades]

Ferber-ing may be painful the first night, or two at the most, but I'll swear by it!! Worked incredibly well for both of my boys. I honestly hated those 2 nights, but sooo worth it. Now the kids put themselves to sleep for naps, & sleep through the night. Ahh. I'm such a better mom because of it. Hang in there & good luck!
~Michelle

[RiaHannam]

I've never had to *Ferberize* my first 3 kids since I got them used to sleeping on their own from the beginning. However with my last one who is now 10 mos I chose to co-sleep and nurse to sleep and have not regretted it at all. It works for me and my lifestyle and my hubby is supportive. I do understand though that this is not the choice for everyone and I respect different parenting perspectives.

You might get some flak for what you are doing but it does work. I know from friend's experiences with it. But please remember if you are going to do this please be consistent with your plan. If you abandon the plan one night and not the other that just sends confusing signals to your baby and is not fair.

Good luck and hopefully soon everyone will be sleeping peacefully!

[Rachels]

Does your doctor know that not even Ferber recommends sleep training at Sydney's age? Seriously, Traci, I KNOW how hard it is to have a child who doesn't sleep, but also, from what you've described, you've had a wildly unpredictable evening routine and she has had a lot of gas and belly pain. I wish you would give yourself some time to try to solve those things before you resort to just leaving her to cry. You have to do what feels right to you, obviously, but I personally think that forcing a baby to cry it out should be a last resort. A lot of what it takes to get a baby to sleep at this very young age is consistent, predictable nighttime parenting. And NO baby who is hurting is going to sleep well. I'm not saying don't try Ferber-- I know that some people find it helpful in getting a baby to go to sleep without crying-- but I wish you'd wait until you got that other stuff in better shape. She's responding exactly how I'd expect her to given what you've described her circumstances to be. I don't really see how not responding to her cries is going to help you in the long run.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Imperia]

No offense, but I don't know that I would trust your ped reccomending Ferber for such a young baby, or reccomending you try a method you are not comfortable with.

WARNING: I am going to express my opinion on Ferber, if you don't like it, skip it...

I know this is a hot topic, and this is just my personal opinion, but I will never ferberize my baby EVER for any reason. I don't care if she has to sleep with me until she is 16; I think it's cruel to force a baby to sleep on it's own before its ready by letting it cry and scream and sometimes vomit. *Edited*

I know people say they have gone in to check the child and reassure it etc, but in some cases that makes the child cry MORE because they can see the parent but not get to them to receive the kind of comfort they need.

Ferberizing may work for some people and if it does that's great. It does not work for all babies and it makes some worse: leads to daytime clinginess and anxiety in some babies. Also, I don't know about you but if someone left me alone to cry and scream myself to sleep that would give ME negative sleep associations (since they always talk about sleep association!) including negative associations with WHERE Iw as sleeping ie the crib which would result in a vicious cycle occuring. A lot of people say, "Hey it worked for us, the baby fell asleep after a couple of hours." Yes, because the baby was exhausted from crying and possibly even went into mild shock. A baby's response to trauma is to shut down/sleep which is basically why Ferber works in a lot of cases, but does that mean it's humane? Not in my opinion.

I think you always have a choice by the way. Just because someone is a peditrician does not make them GOd, and you can choose to toatlly ignore their advice if you so choose, or better yet, if they give you advice you don't agree with find a new one who will work with you and your child.

Good luck,

Imperia

[ericajosh]

I agree with Rachel. I know how hard it is to not get any sleep and to have a crying baby. However, I remember that there are some other factors in your evenings that might be causing the sleeping trouble. Also, your baby is a bit too young for Ferber as I understand it.
I would try to read as much as possible and create a calm environment for the baby first. Letting her cry it out when things seem "unpredictable" in the evening just doesn't seem fair. It really seems that she is reacting to the unpredictable evening routine. I doubt letting her cry it out will really help.

Try to take some time to read some sleep books and really figure out what the issues are regarding your baby's sleep. It will be well worth it. Good luck. "Healthy Sleep Habits" by Weissbluth is a quick read and easy to skim through. Keep us updated.
-Erica

[lisams]

I will agree with your ped in that you need to be consistent, and put Sydney down earlier than what you have been (I think you said betwen 9 and 10 in a previous post). I do not think using the Ferber method is good (for your situation right now) for a few reasons. First, Sydney isn't 6 months yet. Second if she is having gas, she is in pain and you need to address her cries for help, not ignore them. And thirdly, this is a drastic change since she has been sleeping with you, going to sleep as late as 10, and being able to nurse to sleep. She is going to go from that to being sleeping alone,put in her crib much earlier and left to cry herself to sleep. She's not going to know what the heck is going on. I would take it one step at a time and figure out what's causing the gas before you try Ferber.

Just my 2 cents. If you try Ferber tonight, good luck to the both of you.

Lisa

[deborah_r]

>I have no
>other choice


I am not going to judge your choice in doing Ferber (I personally have no opinion on Ferber as I've never tried it), but I guess it just worries me that you think it is the ONLY choice. If you said you've looked into different methods and you feel this is the BEST choice, I would feel more comfortable in supporting your choice.

I would just encourage you to explore other options, maybe search the archives here for sleep advice. Also, since the Lounge gets more traffic, you might want to ask people in the Lounge today to share their experiences with the Ferber method, as they may have done it and may have some helpful hints or pitfalls to watch out for. Maybe explain that you have decided to do this method, do not want to debate the merits, but what like to get some real life stories from people who have tried it. Just a thought.

I DO wish you luck in finding something that will work for you and Sydney.