When do feeding patterns develop?

[sntm]

I also would be reluctant to force out feedings, especially at such a young age. There is no medical reason to do that, despite what some pediatricians say, and the AAP recommends feeding on cue (which means whenever the baby wants to eat).

Babies may not develop a failure to thrive from early elimination of night feeds (though some might) but in correlation, I could survive eating only once a day but I don't think it would be a good idea for someone to deny me breakfast and lunch because I can eat at dinner! Plus, breastfeeding is as much for thirst as for hunger, and I know I would suffer without my glass of water by the bed at night. Premature nightweaning can definitely impact your future abilities to breastfeed as well, as prolactin levels peak during the night and the negative feedback of not emptying the breast at night can lead to lower hormone levels and difficulties with supply down the road.

My other advice in general would be to forget the stats on ounces/body weight. First, those are averages and can vary significantly from baby to baby and for each individual baby depending upon need for growth or illness. Second, those are based on a bottle feeding paradigm and any focus on them tend to interfere with your ability to truly measure whether your baby is eating enough, i.e. is he or she fully satisfied, are you feeding him or her when hungry. I'm inherently a data-driven person, myself, so it was hard to give up looking at numbers and calculations but once you do it is much easier to breastfeed (and to take care of patients!)
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shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_gold_12m.gif[/img][/url]
Breastfeeding 15 months and counting

[KrisM]

We briefly tried not feeding more than every 3 hours at night, but he doesn't seem to settle back down without nursing. Actually, I'm not sure he even eats every 3 hours, but just wants to suck. I'm hoping that will go away soon and he'll just wake to eat instead. We got rid of the pacifier a few weeks ago, so I think I'm still the replacement sometimes.

It's funny. At about 3 months, I was so exhausted all the time, I couldn't wait until he'd go ahead and sleep through the night. I was about willing to try anything! Now, it seems as though I've adjusted more and it doesn't bother me nearly as much. While I'm glad I didn't return to work, because I don't know if I'd function, and I wish he would sleep longer, it's not so bad. I've decided to wait until he develops a better pattern at night. Right now, no 2 nights are even similar!

I'm still not very comfortable nursing in public, like at a restaurant. I wish I were. But, he pulls off and wants to look behind him now, and that's too much exposure for me! I do nurse in the mall, as I find the kids play area so full of action, nobody really even notices me there.

Thanks for the sympathy.

[TahliasMom]

I was just sharing my experience and what works for one doesn't necessarly work for another. I had to go back to work part time few weeks ago and needed my sleep. My daughter was feeding every 2-3 hours at night. I asked my pedi for advice and she recommended cutting out the nightly feedings slowly and seeing how my daughter reacted. We weighted her weekly to make sure she was getting enough to eat. My daughter is 4 months and thriving, she's almost doubled her birth weight and continues to put on weight despite us cutting out the nightly feedings almost a month ago. Plus I'm more sane and rested and have more energy to take care of her and play with her. And if it interferes with my milk supply down the road, it's a risk i'm willing to take. Plus I have a freezer full of EBM.
have a blessed day
Katherine

[simba]

My son is almost four months. Wheh he was three months he ate more or less every three hours during the day, every two in the evening, and would go for (at least) a 4hr stretch at night and then three hours until the morning. Then we traveled to Italy and since then it's all over the place. Now he eats avery two hours day and night and I am exhausted. I would love to sleep at night (it 3:55 am now!)but I think I should be feeding him on demand. Sometimes I feel it is just my fault for not being tough enough to put him on a schedule. I just feed him when he wants, and boy, does he eat! Should I continue this way and be exhausted or try to force a schedule on him? He was sleeping in his room, but the last two nights he slept with us becasue it is just too much for me to get up every two hours. And now I am afraid to establish a bad habit for him, as I do want him to sleep in his crib as a general rule....Like you, I am not sure what to do either....Suggestions?
Silvana
mom of Luca

[KrisM]

We've done exactly the same thing with regards to co-sleeping. I really don't want to end up that way, because neither my husband nor I sleep very well when my son is in the bed too, but at least I sleep a little bit then. He still naps in his crib, so he hasn't forgotten it. And, he starts the night in his crib, but the second time he's up after I'm in bed, I usually bring him in. I always hope that after the first time, he'll go back to sleep for a few hours. Lately, I'm lucky if it's an hour.

Good luck. I have no suggestions, of course. Eventually, we'll all move past this stage, right?

[smiliedds]

My DS is 3mo and 3 weeks old now. He fed every one and a half to 2 hours in the first couple of months. Then he was feeding every 2 to 3 hours at 3 mo. For the last 2-3 weeks, he starts to eat every 3 hours during the day and 3 to 4 hours at night. I co-slept at the beginning since I was too exhaust to get up to feed him. But I wouldn't be getting any good sleep because I can feel every single little movement from him. Starting at about 10 weeks, I decided to put him to sleep in his own crib just at the end of our bed and see how it works. Since I want him to get use to sleeping in his own crib too. Well, I got much better sleep and it only took maybe 3 nights for him to get used to be placed in the crib to sleep. What I do now is I would pick him out of the crib into our bed for feeding. Once he's done, I would quickly put hime back into his crib. It sounds stupid since the crib is only at the end of our bed. But this way, my DH and I both get decent rest, I don't have to go all the way to another room for the feedings, and DS is sleeping in his own crib!! Hope this sparks some ideas for you.

Oh, just as a side note, I haven't had him sleep in the crib during the day yet. He ususlly falls asleep in the playmate or the swing during the day in the living room. It just seems like he wakes up very often during the day-naps and he needs reassurance pretty often.

Rebecca

[Lynnie]

this may sound too simple, and useless, but you really have to do what you are comfortable with. as you can see from the posts, everyone has their own opinions, and their own priorities. and while many people may not agree with what others do, that doesn't mean one way is necessarily wrong. while neglecting a baby is always bad, establishing a flexible schedule in itself is not automatically neglect, even though i know i am opening myself up to get blasted for saying that !

i guess, try to figure out what is more important to you. obviously you have your baby's best interest in mind, but which is more important to you - feeding on demand or establishing a flexible routine and having the baby sleep in a crib and getting sleep yourself. if you feel you wouldn't be a good mother if you didn't feed him whenever he wanted, and can function on the lack of sleep, then that is probably the best way for you. my sister does that, and cosleeps most of the night cause it is so mych easier.

but, are you sure his cries are for food always ? you know, food cue as opposed to another cue ? a few times with my 5 1/2 month old, i would just stick the boob in his mouth when he got upset, and that would enrage him even more, and he would turn his head away. then i learned that he was just tired and needed to wind down and sleep.

my first was on a schedule and slept 8 hours at 8 weeks and 12 hours at 12 weeks.

my second was not ! he had reflux and was up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours at night screaming and eating to feel better. we got him on medicine, and that helped, as did getting older i think, but he still isn't on a set schedule, but is on a more flexible one, and until just a few days ago, i was still nursing him when he woke up 1-3 times at night. (the little guy has slept through the night, but not consistently) however, he is 20 pounds and eats solids like a champ, and drinks alot of milk, and from what i can tell, doesn't really need to eat at night, but was just accustomed to it. so two or three nights ago i decided to see what would happen if i didn't feed him. one night i waited before going into his room, and after 6 minutes he fell back asleep the first time, and then the second time i gave him 2 ounces of water. the next night he woke up once and i soothed him and put him back down, and he slept, and then last night he slept without waking up.

hooray.

we will see what tonight brings.

for me, i fed pretty much on demand at the beginning - first 3 plus months i guess. but i just can't survive on no sleep. i know myself. i can't. i am a better mom and person and wife if i have some sleep. and when the baby sleeps through the night he always always wakes up cooing and happy, so i would think he is not starving. so this works for us. and if he needs to cry a little for a couple more nights, then i will have to endure it. ( i guess he will too, and i will feel awful) but, there will be a limit, and i will be flexible, and being a softy, won't let him cry too long, or at all if it is hysterically.

i don't know much about growth spurts, but i do know you should feed them when they need to eat, but i don't think they last a whole long time. so every 2 hours for day after day wouldn't be a growth spurt i don't think.

i think i did more rambling than helping, but i guess i just wanted to say that i think you really need to follow your heart, and do what is best for your family. know that people can raise their children in many different ways, and still have them turn out healthy and happy. my husband is against me breast feeding because the baby is as big as a horse. i think he is so big because of the breast feeding, and will continue to do so, because it is more important to me to bf and it is worth putting up with his comments. however, it was important for me to be rested, and i put the baby on a schedule. and i also supplement with formula, both things that many people would equally oppose, and may even consider that i am a bad mommy because i do them. but they are right for me, and my baby is thriving. and hopefully will sleep all night tonight since i have been wasting my precious sleep time and writing a flippin' novel here on this board !! oh my, it is 12:30.... i don't know how to handle quiet nights apparently.

good night and good luck.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[simba]

Dear Lynnie
Thanks so much for your message. It was really helpful. I think I need to be rested too, as I end up taking naps during the day and leaving Luca with my mother-in-law verus doing things with him, and if not I am cranky. So yes, I think overall getting sleep is a priority for me in order to be a good mom to Luca. But I am not sure of how to do it. Should I try what you did with your second child, and wait to go in his room? When he fell back asleep after the six minutes, how long did he last? And also, how old is he? My son is not even 4 months....should I try? Also, you said he would refuse the food at times, while Luca is always happy to eat, and not just for five minutes.
I guess tonight is a good night, as he just woke up and fed after 4.5 hrs!!!! He used to do that at three months (going for a longer stretch the first part of the night, then 3 hrs from then on until morning and troughout the day, then 2 hrs in the evening). OK it's 2:10 am....I should go back to sleep. Oh, and I just put him back into his crib...eheheheh....(I was encouraged that he slept 4.5 hrs...). Please get back to me...Thanks!
Silvana

[simba]

Right!
I too start him off in his crib and then keep him with me, except for tonight...he just woke up for the first time (it's 2:20 now), I fed him plenty and put him back in his crib. Let's just see how long he lasts. I am less tired too now thna a month ago, I guess I got accostumed. I too quit my job. But I just know I would do more activities with him during the day and talk to him more if I weren't this tired. I used to be a big sleeper before becoming a mom....I loved (love) to sleep!
Silvana

[TahliasMom]

Another tool I been using to help my baby sleep through the night and establish naps is a book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Again, it's about what you feel comfortable with and what is your prority. I just implemented a new nap/sleep schedule for her age as suggested by the book and my baby is sleeping 12 hours straight and taking 3 naps during the day. She's eating about every 3-4 hours during the day.
have a blessed day
Katherine