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  1. #1
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    Default Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    I am going back to work one week from today! I can't believe its gone by so fast. Anyway, I have a bunch of random questions that I'm hoping you wise ladies can help me with!

    ~ Our daughter is on no kind of schedule yet. Last night, she slept from midnight until 5:30 am. This would be fine on a work day b/c I could pump at 5:30 while my husband changes and plays with her and then I can nurse and get ready for work. However, the night before, she woke up at 4:30. I nursed her then, but kept thinking what I would do if I had to go to work that day. Just stay up and go to work on 5 hours (or less) of sleep? Or get another hour of sleep, which may end up making me more tired?

    ~ To load her up on calories, we are trying to give her a 4 oz bottle around 10 and then I "top her off" (if she's still hungry). However, even though she is normally a champ with the bottle, the past two nights she had fits when my husband tried to give it to her. I guess the solution here is to offer the bottle earlier. I suppose my desire here is for me to sleep from say 10 - 12, nurse her at 12 and then again at 5-ish. I'm not sure there is a question here :), but any suggestions about how WOHMs do this?

    ~ Related to the WOHM bit, my husband is going to be a SAHD. Any suggestions/advice on the division of labor for nightfeedings and changings? What do others with SAH-parents do? My gut is saying that if she wakes up at 4:30, using the example from above, that would be a good time for daddy to give a bottle and I can sleep, since he can always nap with her during the day. Is this wildly ignorant and inconsiderate of me???


    I realize all of this is likely to be individual-based and what works for your baby. Just wanted to get some ideas of things to try.

    TIA for all your help!!
    Megan

  2. #2
    murpheyblue is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    DH is a SAHD as well. As far as nightfeedings and nightwakings I think you have to figuer out what works well for both of you and what system will not build resentment. DD co-sleeps so I tend to handle most of the nightwakings. If, however, she's teething or otherwise fussy for an extended period of time, I had her over to DH. Getting a terrible night's sleep makes you feel awful irrespective of your job, so we try to split the night duties but it is true that he can take a nap. Talk to your DH and figure out what will work best for you guys.

    Good luck!

    BTW, a few of us BBBers have a Yahoo group for women with husbands who are SAHDs if you're interested: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bbbsahdmommies/


  3. #3
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    OOH, can I join that moms with SAHDs group?


    I can't speak to the schedule thing much, DS doesn't have one! He is not a good sleeper, but generally, he eats between 7-8pm, at bedtime, then 10-11, 2-3 and 6-7 am. I get up around 6, at the earliest, and I try to feed him before leaving, then I pump about every 3 hrs at work, so pump at 10, pump at 1, pump at 4, then go home. Sometimes, it ends up being pump at 11, pump at 3, no third session. Depends on how busy I am. So far, so good. I hate pumping at home, so I don't pump in the morning or evening, but I know others have found this a great way to beef up the freezer stash.


    My DH is a SAHD also, and this is how we do the nights. DS sometimes co-sleeps, but its hard in a double bed. DH prefers to put him in his crib in our room. So, I handle all wakings that are feedings (the cry is different), then get DS back to sleep, either in the bed or crib. If he wakes up before he is hungry again, he's DH's problem. So, we do a back and forth thing. DS often wakes for the day at 6, if I am up for work, great, if I am on a research block, where I generally work 10-6pm, DH takes him, and I get extra sleep.

    My son is a frequent night-waker, so I can't do it all and still be functional. As it is, I haven't slept for more than 3 hrs in a row in 7 months. DH is happy to do his share. That way, we are both about equally sleep-deprived, which seems fair.

    I can't speak to the evening bottle thing, since I'm too lazy to pump at home, DS only gets bottles when I'm not around. In 6 months, I've seen him eat from a bottle about 3 times. We are starting solids, and feeding him cereal and sweet potatoes at our dinner time, even though the "solids make them sleep" is not scientfically reproducible, I figure, its worth a shot!

    Good luck!
    Tarah
    Mama to the Forrest Creature 3/04 and Baby Ber 4/07
    "All true wealth is biological" Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    I used to give Logan a "dream feeding" just before I went to bed at around 10:30 or 11:00PM. She had already been in bed asleep and I would just lay down with her and feed her. She'd nurse in her sleep, and that kept her from waking up an hour or so later after I had gone to sleep.

    If you are cosleeping, you can learn to nurse while you sleep. If Logan woke up in the night, DH would go get her and bring her to me so I hardly even had to wake up to get her latched on.

    ...Karen
    DS Jake Feb 91, DD Logan Mar 03
    http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/superpower.gif http://members.aol.com/khowe14494/bo...breastfed2.gif

  5. #5
    vdrake71 Guest

    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    Congratulations on the return back to work. I was off for three months and came back to work in April, full time. My DS has never been on a true schedule and I remember thinking when I was going back to work that we need to get him on a schedule. I remember the first 3 months that I returned back to work were pure hell. I was so tired because I was responding to my son during the middle of the night. What is really mean is that your baby will be going through a growth spurt just as you are returning back to work. I guess I decided that I would respond to DS during the night because I never knew if it was a growth spurt or him teething. I wanted to make sure that if it was a growing spurt that I would feed him so my milk supply would increase. I really noticed that not getting a solid night sleep will affect your job. I think the first month returning back to work I was having problems concentrating and was always forgeting something. Mentally, I was not with it. My own schedule is to feed him as many times as he wants at night (sometimes none and sometimes 4) and then feed him right before I leave for work. I pump at 8:30, 11:30, and 2:30 and then feed him when I get home from work. The biggest thing about work is if you can schedule your pumping session. That is the only way I got around co-workers not scheduling meetings with me.

    I just thought I would share a little about what to expect when you return back to work.


  6. #6
    murpheyblue is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    Of course you can join (well, I'm not the moderator but of course). Just go to page and sign up! The more the merrier!


  7. #7
    cara1 Guest

    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    Just wondering how realistic it is to assume your DH will actually be "napping" during the day. Also, as a mom who works outside the home, I'd suggest nursing as much as possible when you're home, and limiting the bottles when you're actually there to give the boob. But as others have said, whatever works for you guys...

  8. #8
    hez is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    Caveat: My DS is 1yo, and it took a while (couple months) to get our routine down. Today, DS goes to bed around 7 or 8 in his crib for 5-6 hours, then co-sleeps the second half of the night with us (DH gets up to get him and bring him into our bed). I feed him whenever he wants it-- and usually we're both at least half asleep through those feedings. I like to stay in bed as long as I can, so I'd be going back to bed at 4:30 if that were my choice :) And I'm too lazy to pump at home now, so a bottle at 4:30 would have been too much work for me personally.

    Up 'til last week (teething again) we were to a point where he'd nurse once before bed, once over night, and once before we all left for the day. However, it took a good long while to get there. What saved my sanity the most was co-sleeping when I first went back to work. All three of us got more sleep that way. I like our setup now (half and half), but it'll change again when we get to weaning. It's been all about flexibility in our house so far...

    Good luck! I'll be thinking about you next week!
    Heather
    Mommy to DS (9/03) and DD (5/08)

  9. #9
    Join Date
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    OK, suggestions and tips, please, on how to nurse while sleeping! :) It seems like whenever I've tried this, I have to hold my boob for Simone . . . otherwise it is too low. Or is it OK for her head to be turned down?

    Thanks for all the help so far!! DH and I talked about it some earlier today and I guess we're going to take it one day at a time (obviously).

    One other question. Here's our plan for feedings. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure its going to work . . .

    I pump in the AM before feeding her. I can usually get at least 6 oz. If she sleeps a good 6 hours, I can get close to 10 oz.

    When I have been nursing her in the mornings (after pumping), she will eat on one side for about 15 minutes and then go back to sleep.

    Anyway, DH will have what I pump in the morning to last him (her!) until lunch time. Then he is going to drive to my work (10-15 min) and I will nurse her at lunch. I'll also give him the milk that I pumped at work (around 9, I guess).

    Then I will pump in the afternoon before leaving work and this can be used for freezer stash, before bedtime bottle, middle of the night feeding, etc.

    Finally, nurse when I get home and as often as she likes before I go to bed.

    Is this entirely too complicated and should I just pump at work and that milk gets used the next day???

    Ugh. Wish I could work from home!! (no, its not an option! :))

    Anyway, like I said, thanks for the suggestions and well wishes!! It definitely helps knowing that I can come here for support!

    Megan

  10. #10
    Join Date
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    Default RE: Returning to Work advice/suggestions -- LONG! :)

    Having your DD there to nurse at lunch will be fabulous! When I work 16 or 24 hours at a time (I'm a resident, it sucks) DH brings DS up to nurse once or twice. It makes a huge diff in my morale, and my comfort. Although the pump does a pretty good job, just pumping for over 12 hrs never really makes me feel empty, KWIM? DS nursing does, though, so even one session in 24 hours is very helpful for my comfort. And, I love to see them both.

    As to nursing at night, DS lays on his back, swaddled, and turns his head in toward the breast, and latches. He is usually only partialy awake during night feeds. I think its fine for your DD to turn her head to nurse, as long as she seems comfy and is latched well. Try nursing laying down in bed during the day and evenings. Once I got it figured out, its all we do! I actually take him into the BR to nurse whenever we're home. He seems to understand that the big bed is for eating in. (He's at a distractible-nursy age). The only time I nurse siting up is when we NIP.
    Tarah
    Mama to the Forrest Creature 3/04 and Baby Ber 4/07
    "All true wealth is biological" Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan

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