Breastfeeding frustrations...

[lisaE]

Nothing to add in terms of advice, just want to give you some encouragement. Hang in there- it gets easier.

We gave in and let DS have a paci at about 3 weeks. It didn't affect his nursing at all. So don't stress too much about that. The first time he had it in his mouth, I felt almost betrayed! So I know what you mean when you say that's frustrating.

Just keep it up- you're doing great for your baby!

[trentsmom]

Sarah,

I hope things have gotten better since you posted this morning. The PPs have given great advice. One of the things that helped me when I was going through a rough breastfeeding start was to read these boards. Just seeing all the strong mamas here made me say to myself, "They did it. I can do it."

Also, the more you read up on breastfeeding, the more knowledge you gain, and the more confident you will feel telling pediatrician, mom, and mom-in-law that YOU are the mother and YOU know best for your child. They probably aren't as up on new information as you are. I know my mom isn't. When I told her I was planning on nursing at least until spring, she was concerned that DS would come running up to me and lift my shirt to nurse. I told her (in a nice tone) to get used to it.

Good luck.

[sarahsthreads]

Thanks for all the advice and support! Things are a little better already. I did put my foot down about the pacifier - it's not that I think it's an evil thing or anything like that, but until we've got the breastfeeding well-established, I feel like pacifiers and bottles are a big mistake. I'm glad to hear that nearly a pound in a week is not a bad thing. It seemed to fit with those silly growth charts, anyway, so I'm not sure what the big deal was with the pediatrician. I think when I told him that sometimes she wants to nurse every hour and a half he envisioned that every time she cries I pick her up and nurse her, which is not the case...

The engorgement is also lessening a bit, the crack seems to be healing, and we nursed on that side for just a few minutes earlier and although it hurt it wasn't as excruciating as I'd anticipated, so maybe that will get better soon too. :) I'm hoping tonight will be significantly better than last night, especially since no pacifier meant that Carolyn was awake for a lot more of the day today than she was yesterday - maybe the in-between feeding times will be sleepy times tonight! (She'll do a good 5 hour stretch at night, but she has to be in our bed with Daddy's pinky finger plugged in to get her to actually sleep after nursing.)

Actually, the biggest confidence booster I had today was the baby herself - nobody could get her to calm down at one point except me! All I had to do was snuggle her and she was perfectly content. She wasn't hungry or wet or tired, she just wanted to be held by me. Have I mentioned what a smart baby I have? ;)

I'll update tomorrow to let you all know how things go. It was really only a moment of weakness when I fantasized about giving up and giving her bottles. There have been enough good moments of nursing already that I immediately realized what a loss it would be to stop now, when we've barely begun.

Sarah :)

[audys]

Hi Sarah,

I thought the toughest part about having a newborn was the breastfeeding! It took me and my DS about 4 weeks to work out all of the major problems. Just take it one day at a time. Breastfeeding was VERY HARD for me and my DS to learn. You are not alone!

At 2-3 weeks (out of utter desperation because I was ready to quit breastfeeding), I had a home visit with a LC. She sat through a nursing and taught me the difference between "non-nutritive-sucking" (pacifying on me) and feeding. The pacifying on the breast made my nipples very sore. My LC said a pacifier was OK after the baby had just breastfed and was doing non-nutritive-sucking on me. I think you're right that the baby should be put to the breast before the pacifier is popped in, though. Learning the difference between pacifying and feeding really helped me (wasn't obvious to me until the LC taught me the difference).

My mother and MIL did not breastfeed and honestly were not very supportive or understanding of the process. Be strong and hang in there - it DOES get better!!! After 6 weeks, it gets progressively better (until the teeth come in) and I still enjoy the cuddling.

I was a big leaker - soaked through clothes, bed, etc many times. I finally went to cotton breast pads (easier on sore nipples) with a disposable breast pad shell between the cotton and my clothes because I could easily leak through 2 cotton pads. This kept me dry and comfortable!

Take care of yourself too - you're breastfeeding so you're clearly a wonderful mother to go through all of the pain and trouble!

Audrey, mother to Graham

[psophia17]

I just wanted to add my input about pacis and c-sections - I really dislike the paci, and using it, but DS had gas really badly as a little guy and all he wanted to do was suck, and I just couldn't handle it because I couldn't hold him for that long after the c-section.

He's 10 mos now, and I wish I'd never introduced the pacifier. He is mostly weaned from it, but it's true, if people get in the habit of giving it to him to "plug" the baby, then they will do everything they can to give it to him. I am now trying to wean the family off of the pacifier, once I'm done with that I can wean the baby, too. It's a pain in the neck.

The PP about napping with the baby resting on you is so true - that was the BEST. Every day, twice a day, I got to rest and recover and DS and I kept each other warm. I miss those days so much, as exhausting as they were.

Good Luck, and whenever it gets tough, just remember, you're doing your best, and that's awesome! :-)

-Petra

DS - Nathan, 12/29/03

[missmelis01]

Sarah-

So glad to hear things are improving already, and they will continue to! Lilke many of the other Mom's, my son and I got off to an abosultely horrible BF start. It took about 6 weeks before things were working smoothly, and we haven't looked back since!

I also had a cracked nipple that used to bleed when my son nursed. When he would spit up, blood would come up, too. The first time it happened, I freaked out and called the pediatrician!!!

As far as the pacifier, I never had to make a decision because my son wouldn't take one! When you don't use a paci, it is more work, but then you really get to know your DC, which I think is far better than plugging her/him up.

Because my son wouldn't take a paci, he used to suck on me many times for comfort (non-nutritive sucking). I never minded, especially because as a pp said it was a bonding experience. And it was something only Mommy could do for him!!! ;-)

Keep up the good work, and please continue to post updates on your DD's progress.

[Rachels]

FWIW, we switched peds when my daughter was three weeks old because hers was consistently skeptical and unsupportive of breastfeeding. It felt like a very big deal at the time and I was scared to switch, but it was a great, great thing. Having a ped who is very bf-knowledgeable has come in handy over and over and over. And I DID pick my baby up and nurse when she cried, which meant that she basically never cried for the first eight months of her life. It's okay to do that if you want to. It's also totally normal for newborns to nurse all the time. Their tummies are so small and they don't hold much, and until the baby is a bit older, it is harder for them to empty the breast. Abigail was an hour-long nurser at first, then as she grew she could drain a breast in five minutes.

The other thing you can do for that crack is to keep olive oil on it, which has lots of healing properties and is safe for the baby. I used olive oil on my areolas a bit to help slide Abby's lip into the right position without having to break suction. Also look for a product called Soothies, which are apparently outstanding for healing nipple injuries.

You DO have a smart baby! And you're a smart mama. Keep up the good work. It will get easier and easier.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbo...pphire_24m.gif Two years and counting!

[sarahsthreads]

What a difference a couple of days can make! Things are working much better - not perfect yet, but so much better that I even felt confident enough to bring the baby to church and brunch this morning. (Thankfully she slept through all of it, because right now a blanket wouldn't help to feed her in public, I'd need a tent!) Of course, this wiped us both out for the whole day. I keep forgetting that two weeks ago I was in an operating room...until I try to do something normal.

We're going on 36 hours without a pacifier, and she's only had one or two fussy bouts that took some creativity - I've taken possession of the pacifier - to solve. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and reassurance! It's hard to feel confident and in control when I'm still not sure what I'm doing, but for Carrie's sake I'm pretending that I know what I'm doing - and either everyone is humoring me or they all think I really do know what I'm doing. :)

Sarah :)

[lizajane]

hey sarah!

late to the party here, but i am just so glad that things are getting better for you already. please know that we are always here and we all want so much to help you.

i was in the most horrific pain every single time i fed schuyler on BOTH sides for a solid 6 weeks. i used lansinoh lanolin (purple tube, sold with the bottles, etc) every time i fed him and showered, before and after. (remember, don't use soap on that sensitive skin!)

i didn't use a pacifier at all until 4 weeks and schuyler never had a bottle (of breastmilk!) until 6+ weeks. honestly, with this baby, i do plan to use the pacifier early. i think schuyler would have been soothed by it, but i was too terrifed to give him one. i was already having so much trouble, i thought it would make it worse. but i think getting a break from the comfort sucking might have been a good thing for me. so if i am in that much pain with baby brother, i will use it right away. it took me 8 weeks to heal completely, and like i said, 6 weeks to start healing enough for the pain to slow. i WILL NOT give up on this baby, just like i WOULD NOT give up on schuyler. but i don't know if i can endure the pain i endured while chasing a toddler.

and by the way... if i have to endure it, i will. i nursed schuyler for 14 months. i wouldn't let go of that experience for ANYTHING.

[Karenn]

Church at two weeks?? I'm impressed! Good for you! Even with my second baby I didn't make it to church until 3 weeks. It was closer to 4 or 5 weeks before DS made his debut!

I'm so glad things are going better for you!