SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

[kijip]

I think that this is her CHOICE. Choosing to stop nursing Toby was hard, but truly needed. I was so upset when people tried to "educate" me and change my mind. She clearly has the experience under her belt to make an informed decision. For her it may be easier. I had so much trouble nursing that I can say that sometimes, for some people formula is easier. I would support her choice ...with 3 kids she is going to need your support!

[jec2]

Seriously, it is HER choice. If she bf her previous two children she is probably well-aware of the benefits.

Honestly, the fact that my 16 month old is nothing but a boobie monster STILL makes we wonder quite often (and sometimes seriously) if my future children will be BF too. And, I am a very strong proponant of breastfeeding.

[egoldber]

Depending on her situation it may BE easier for her, at least at first. If she has 2 active boys running around, and not a lot of hands on daily support, it could be hard for her to envision having the time that it takes to nurse a newborn. If I were her, I would be worried about being able to take the time to nurse while entertaining two other active children. Heck, I'm worried about the time it will take to nurse with ONE other fairly laid back child LOL!

[Rachels]

What bothers me is the reasoning. Even if ff were easier, that's sort of a lazy reason to not do what's best for your child.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbo...pphire_24m.gif Two years and counting!

[egoldber]

Well, it is a "lazy" reason, but if you have no one to help and only so much time in a day to give, you have to make hard choices. I do think it is VERY sad if the reason she chooses not to breastfeed is because she feels she has insufficient support to make it doable for her. Breastfeeding moms (and new moms in general) are woefully undersupported in this country. But I think the complaint should be about the lack of that support, not about the woman's choice, IMO.

[TraciG]

Oh I DEFINITELY think it's her choice I would never question her, & always support her, it just helped me to push with breastfeeding when I had problems because she did it & my SIL was someone who wasn't even sure she wanted kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My brother is GREAT help. A real hands on dad !!!!!!!!!!!!

[ellies mom]

Well, we don't really know her reasoning for feeling that it may be easier. There could be all sorts of things going on, none of which has to do with laziness, that lead her to feel it would be easier. After all, she has been there, she knows how it works. Like some of the PP have said, it is her choice, and without being in her mind it isn't really fair to judge her choice or the reasoning behind it.

[sntm]

That's why I think gentle questioning to elicit the real reason may be important. There may be something fixable, or something that family/friends can do to support it.

I fully recognize that it is her decision to make, but I don't think it should simply be left to "choice." We know too much about the risks of not breastfeeding babies. And there is a big difference between difficulties with breastfeeding which may be difficult to overcome leading to formula use and making a choice to not breastfeed. I know my role as a physician is different from someone's role as a friend or relative, but I would be negligent for not investigating the reasons and seeing what I could do to make it more feasible.

I certainly think that no one should make this mom feel bad. But I think that not trying to support her to do the right thing is not being a good friend/relative.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_emerald_18m.gif[/img][/url]
Breastfeeding 20 months and counting

[lisams]

But won't she need to feed the baby frequently somehow? I guess I don't get how having to mix formula and prepare bottles and then feed the baby the bottle would be any easier (and then clean them, etc.) Every mom I've known who ff still had her arms full and was "tied down" during a feeding. I just can't picture it being easier unless there is some bottle propping. Maybe I'm missing something here though.

Lisa

[egoldber]

I just want to make clear that I firmly believe that breastfeeding is worth the effort it can take and that its the best way to feed your baby.

But formula feeding is less stressful for many moms, especially in the very early days. There is none of the uncertainty of how much is my baby getting, do I have enough milk, am I nursing enough, am I nursing too much,... That stress is a HUGE deal for some people. And there is so little GOOD breastfeeding info available to the general public (unless you know where to go looking for it) that it is easy to get conflicting info that makes the experience even more overwhelming. FF also makes it easy for others to help feed the baby, it makes it easier to use a sitter, can be less stressful in unsupportive social situations, etc.

Also, I personally never found mixing bottles to be a huge deal. I made a large pitcher of formula the night before, filled as many bottles as I was likely to need for the day plus one and you're set for the day. (My DD never preferred warm bottles.) If money is no object, you buy ready to feed. If you have a dozen bottles, just load the dishwasher at the end of the day and you're done.

But I am NOT trying to say that FF is the way to go. I switched DD to formula at 6 months and I am determined NOT to do that again, because I believe BF is worth it. But I can also see why it is an attractive option for many people in many situations. I think that as a culture, we need to be more supportive of nursing moms, and that we do not provide enough support to moms at home alone with young babies, especially those with more than one young child at home.