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  1. #1
    TraciG is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    she's due in April & has 2 boys already, both breastfed. One had so many ear infections before he was one years old, they thought he would need tubes, my other nephew has asthmatic tendencies & was nursed 7 months. My SIL doesn't understand what illnesses are prevented by bf -ing. She also feels there isn't a more special bond from BF-ing, she tells me I wasn't BF & I am very close to my mother. I guess this will be her 3rd baby & she also feels for her it will be MUCH easier.

    Just wanted to share, here how everyone would respond

  2. #2
    tiikeri2 Guest

    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    With all of the KNOWN health issues with the previous children, I'm a bit anxious about the issues the third child might have if NOT bf!!! Also, she is discounting the health benefits for her in continuing to bf.

    Formula cannot be easier than bf--you have the food there, ready and waiting, at all times. No need to mess with bottles (unless you pump and even then in my experience pumping is a much cleaner process and much easier to clean up after than making formula!), the baby clothes will not be horribly stained, and the diapers will not smell as much. And formula is not as easy for baby to digest, so there are the tummy issues too.

    I'm very surprised that someone who successfully bf 2 children would now choose the less healthy, less convenient, messier, smellier, more staining, unnatural option of formula.

    But that's just my opinion!

    Kay

  3. #3
    toomanystrollers Guest

    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    Easier??? - HA!!! I can't imagine all the bottles, the formula stains, the expense - no thank you!! I'm so fortunate that bf'ing was very easy :)

  4. #4
    kfcboston is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    ITTTTA with the PPs about the "ease" of BFing! I have every finger and toe of mine crossed all the time about my chances of BFing this time around. (DS was BFed for 7 months.) I would feel lucky in the BFing respect if I were having only one! I hope the twins won't be shortchanged if I'm not able to pull it off. Not to mention the bottle hell of FFing twins! Good Lord.

    Good luck to her either way!

  5. #5
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    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    Wow, that makes no sense to me, but I wonder if other people's opinions are part of what is bothering your SIL. Maybe she feels other people are pushing their reasons to BF? I wonder what she liked about breastfeeding and why she did it twice, and if thinking of HER reasons might spark a desire to BF again.

    There's always the cost savings aspect. Plus, no waiting to warm a bottle in the middle of the night or with a crying baby, no running out of food at home or while out. And with BF, you can usually keep one hand free to eat your own feed, comfort an older child, read something, or operate a remote control, and that free hand is very important when there are other children running around. I'd think some of those reasons would be even more attractive to a second time mom.

    If she wants other people to be able to give the baby a bottle, she could either pump or supplement with formula.
    Advice and commentary on living overseas

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  6. #6
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    sntm is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    Well, it's easier for her to start BFing and stop if it isn't working out than the reverse.

    You could ask her gently why she thinks it will be easier. Sometimes, people will give reasons that they think sound good rather than giving the real reason. She may also be worried about handling a baby with two little boys, and just need some encouragement and support.

    If you think she would benefit from a list of medical reasons, there's the list at www.promom.org (101 reasons to BF), the new AAP recommendations or you can have her contact me.
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  7. #7
    TraciG is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    Maybe she'll change her mind, It's kind of disappointing if she doesn't breastfeed, now that I have a child I really respect how she's been bringing up my nephews & look up to her .

    I myself plan on doing the best with breastfeeding next time, I was only able to do it with Sydney 5 1/2 months .

  8. #8
    nan Guest

    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    Well, someone's got to say it ...
    What's so wrong about it? I think it's important to remember that like every other aspect of parenting, we all have very different experiences. She's making a decision based on already having done it twice. AND, maybe she (like me) doesn't consider it to be a be-all, end-all thing in terms of bonding and feeling maternal, etc. I actually feel much more of a bond with my 2nd ...
    I BF my oldest for 9 months, including pumping 2x a day at work. My hand literally shook when I had to open a bottle of formula to mix with cereal because there was no way to pump 2 more ounces.
    My second was Failure to Thrive, so clearly, my breastmilk wasn't all that! Still, I persisted and though I supplemented, stil BF for about 4 or 5 months with him. Unfortunately, the pumping thing was not really working once I went back to work, so after about 3 weeks of getting 2-3 ounces a pop I stopped that.
    With both kids I had to call lactation consultants who were, to put it kindly, not helpful or supportive.
    My third is now 3 weeks old. I'm BF right now (literally ...pardon the typos). My goal is 12 weeks, and then am and pm when I go back to work. But I'm taking it as it comes. One weight issue and we're done ... let me tell you, FTT is horrific. And both my older kids had a ton of ear infections, bf notwithstanding.
    Maybe your SIL is tired of being the only one responsible for keeping her children alive in the early days and doesn't feel she has a support network to help her get through it. Since I feel like I've been BFing almost continuously for 3 weeks now (I just woke up with the baby on my lap and a boob hanging out ... must've fallen asleep during the process!) I am sure some other people can relate to the Dairy Barn Fatigue.
    Yes, I am fully aware of the benefits of BF, and I've done it, and am giving it a whirl once again. But imho, it's you sil's choice to make. Formula is not poison, and bf-ing is not the only component of good parenting. And chasing around after 2 other kids ... I'm there! In some ways it will be easier to be able to have others feed the baby while she is chasing. I'm sure she would most appreciate a second set of hands and some company while she adjusts from a man-to-man to a zone defense, and look at it this way .... you'll have more of a chance to snuggle with your new niece or nephew!

    My 2 cents ...

  9. #9
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    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    ITA!! Thanks for pointing out that formula feeding isn't THAT bad...... if and when breast feeding does not work out!

  10. #10
    papal Guest

    Default RE: SIL is thinking of NOT breastfeeding this time

    My feeling is that it is HER choice and hers alone and nobody elses business. This is such a personal choice for all moms.. who is anyone else to judge the decision a mom makes, you know? Ticks me off to be honest.

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