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  1. #41
    nitaghei Guest

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed

    >I was talking to a friend last night who said her doctor
    >recommended that from the beginning she breastfeed during the
    >day but give a bottle of formula in the evening so the baby
    >will sleep through the night - and it worked.

    FWIW, there's no scientfic evidence to back that claim. It's perfectly possible that the baby would have slept through the night even on breastmilk. It is possible that the formula could have resulted in digestive discomfort, and made the baby's sleep worse. Some BF babies sleep through the night early, some don't. Same for FF babies. Sleep have very little to with what the baby is fed.

    Ancedotally, my DH was convinced that formula was the answer to DS's frequent wakings, too. So I let him experiment. HA!! My DS was a poor sleeper, and whether he had formula or nursed made absolutely no difference whatsoever - he still woke up six times a night or more.

    The downside of giving formula really early is that it can compromise supply, and lead to problems later on. Also, introducing a bottle too early can result in nipple confusion (preference for the faster flow of the bottle) that can be distasrous for the nursing relationship (BTDT for seven long hedious weeks of exclusive pumping). All I'm saying is that it increases the probability of these problems, not that it will necessarily result in them. And really, it's much, much easier to nurse than prep a bottle at night (BTDT,too).

    There are plenty of legitimate reasons to use formula, or to supplement with formula, but improving sleep is not one of them.

    Again, FWIW. YMMV.

    mom to Neel, January 2003
    dog mom to a PWD and a cocker(at the Rainbow Bridge)

  2. #42
    tiikeri2 Guest

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed

    I do not think I'll have much new, but wanted to address the doula issue...DO IT!!! LOL! If you can find a woman with whom you are comfortable, do it! DH said it was the best $$$ we spent.

    Ours was our childbirth educator, doula, and postpartum lifesaver! The hospital LC was good, but stretched thin (as others have posted). Our doula was right there, helping me get a good latch right away with #1 (and I KNOW this helped with pain issues we might otherwise have had because getting a good latch makes all the difference), telling me I could do it with #2 when bf was not going as easily as it had with #1 (she was early and would not nurse the first week, I had to pump and then we finger fed her with a syringe--I was an emotional basketcase, feeling I was failing my baby, but what really mattered was that she get the food God intended her to have--straight from the mommy!; pumping is not that comfortable, BTW, baby is much gentler and efficient), and offering to drive an hour to deliver antibiotics when I got my first breast infection (now there's where the pain comes in! LOL!).

    That is something, I guess. Not everyone gets mastitis, but for me it seems inevitable when I get run down in the first six months. Do not be afraid to take the drugs! And make sure you do research the things that can go wrong so you are aware of them, but do not dwell on them because for MOST people MOST of the time, breastfeeding is just a great partnership between mom and baby. It is just amazing how it all comes together after all the research and worrying and anxiety. Baby is born, looks up at you with those beautiful eyes, and as soon as you cuddle her, she knows! She starts rooting around, perfect mouth seeking perfect breast, and it happens! It is nothing short of magic!!! Now, it will not always be that easy, but often with a good delivery of a full-term, healthy baby, that's how it goes--especially with your support right there (for me that was DH and doula). That's how #1 was for me. It was amazing. I did not even notice all the other stuff that was going on (and I even had a couple stitches).

    I know what you mean about being a little freaked out by DH seeming to really like the idea of breastfeeding (and not for the nutrition of the baby). But one of the sweetest things was when DH told me how beautiful it was to him to see me feeding our first child. And you know what?--I think that's how it is supposed to be. What a sign of sexuality and fertility! And, let's face it, they are men. The sight of breast makes them go a little weird. (And now I've scared you off of bf completely, haven't I? LOL!)

    There may be times in the first few weeks when baby will be nursing like crazy and you will want nothing more than to not be touched by anyone or anything. I wished I could levitate so as not to be touched! This was difficult for DH, but fortunately he is incredibly understanding--and I had made him read the sections of the bf books aimed at the fathers, so he knew it was nothing to do with him, I just was touched out.

    You may feel modest now, but when you are in that hospital gown with people coming in at all hours of the day and night and your breast is exposed most of the time as you work out your bf partnership with baby, modesty is the least of your worries. You won't look that great after labor, you won't feel that great with the hormone craziness and soreness, and none of it will matter as long as you have that little one in your arms. It's just incredible! And I have two younger brothers (both in college) and I thought bf in front of them would be totally weird, but they manage to find anything else in the room to look at, and though they find "sister boob," as they call it, a bit unnerving, they don't leave the room and it's mostly a joke between us all. I feel good knowing that they've been exposed to it (no pun intended!) and may be that much more accepting and supportive when their own wives bf (ok, I can hope, can't I? ;))

    I thought bf in public was not something I would do, but when baby is hungry and that milk starts flowing, you figure something out fast! There's a chemical reaction that sends a message to your brain--"Nurse, and nurse now! To heck with your illusions of modesty, that baby is HUNGRY!" I've just sat right down on the floor in the children's clothing section before and nursed then and there because baby wanted food and nothing else would calm her. I've nursed on planes, in the car, in restaurants, at the zoo, while walking around the mall (baby in a sling), and the only people who really notice are other bf mothers (who, at least at the zoo, have come to sit near me and chat while they do the same thing!). PPs have been right--people are less likely to look at you strange for bf than they are for having a screaming child in their midst!!! I do usually use a blanket to cover. I do not care if other people know what I'm doing, I just enjoy the extra coverage (though once they reach the peek-a-boo stage, the blanket does not always stay on--just a warning!). The sling was great for that as well--I used a ring sling and used the extra fabric in the tail to cover. People just figured baby was sleeping.

    Giving birth just changes your outlook, so while it is good to be informed and to know what fears/concerns you have, try not to dwell on them. And if DH is getting tired of hearing them, bring them here!!! As you can see, we're always up for a good chat! :) Or, find a local bf group like La Leche League and go there. You will not believe the support and information available!

    Wow! If you made it this far, you have too much time on your hands! LOL! I hope that from these ramblings you have sifted some small gems of help and hope. I've now used all my mommy free-time. Naptime is over and I must depart!

    Give it a go, girl. It will work out. HUGS!


  3. #43
    kath68 Guest

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed

    I have to chime in on the doula -- it was, indeed, money well spent. I think our doula (who was trained as a lactation "educator", not a certified lactation consultant) was a big reason why I had no problems with latching. She was right there when Charlie was born, made sure he latched correctly right away, and then stayed with us focused on US, while I was getting stiched up, etc. She helped get us tidied up, and our stuff packed up so that my husband and I had nothing to worry about while we were changing rooms. Sounds small, but I can't imagine navigating a room change while holding a newborn.

    As for the "MUST FEED BABY NOW" instinct when out in public. Yes, yes, yes, it is absolutely true. I joked with a mommy friend of mine early on that if it is true that men think only with their "special appendage," I was thinking only with by breasts.... LOL! Nothing else matters but getting your baby fed and the milk flowing. I have never been so aware of my breasts in all my life....

  4. #44
    tiikeri2 Guest

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed

    >>"I have never been so aware of my breasts in all my life...."

    LOL!!! How true, how true! I think what really relaxed me was when we came home from the hospital, it was three or four days after DD was born, and DH's best friend visited us in the evening. I was in my comfy clothes (maternity shirt and fleece jammie pants) and we were chatting. My milk decided to come in during those couple hours and I really didn't notice anything but fullness. Then I looked down and found that my white shirt was DRENCHED in milk! I was leaking like a broken faucet! DH's friend did not even bat an eyelash because his wife breastfed too. It was in that moment that I realized there was no such thing as real modesty in breastfeeding. It was a fact of life and if I treated it that way, so would those around me. That has held true these past 3+ years. I've received support, encouragement, and compliments in the strangest places, and no raised eyebrows or complaints that I know of!


  5. #45
    CiderLogan is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
    Join Date
    Feb 2004

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed


    I have not read all the other posts, but I wanted to add my 2 cents. First, BF hurt a LOT; I won't lie. Honestly, at the time I remember thinking it was worse than labor (I guess because it was so frequent, and I thought the pattern of every 2 hours would never end! At least I knew labor would end!). I thought I was doing everything wrong because I was in so much pain. But I think it just took my body some time to adjust. I also saw a wonderful LC who helped my technique a bit (but mostly just helped boost my confidence). I kept reading, "it will hurt for a few days and then feel fine." But for me, it took a full month of discomfort before it got better. So hang in there! I promise if you can make it through the first month then it will become SO easy and you will feel SO proud!

    Regarding BF in public: I never really did it. If we were out, we'd nurse in the car. If we were at the mall, we would go to Nordstrom (they have nice women's lounges and you can just be with other BF moms or else women who walk in and out and won't care what you are doing). I did go to some new-mom support group type sessions at a local hospital (I highly recommend such things!!) and nursed there. It was a great atmosphere to attempt nursing in public because everyone else was as new to it as I was. I never had to BF in front of family members who I didn't want to see me, because I'd just go to another room (usually the nursery). DD actually fed better away from groups anyway.

    Pumping was more comfortable for me than nursing at the beginning -- I pumped and bottle-fed for a couple of days to give my sore nipples a rest -- but then it was just a hassle after nursing was smoother. Pumping exclusively was a huge pain because of all the dishes it generated and time it took. You will definitely prefer nursing directly. I have a Medela, and it worked great (I went back to work PT for a while). If you are staying home, a manual pump may be good enough.

    You can do it! It will be tough at first, but it gets so easy later. I absolutely never would have predicted that I'd be sad when DD weaned at 13 months!

    Mom of Julia, 8/03

  6. #46
    aoconnell Guest

    Default RE: mom-to-be freaked out about BF - advice needed

    1. I took a class and had several books, but I still needed a lactation consultant in the hospital. I would highly recommend making sure this service is there for you in the hospital. BF is a lot like learning to dance--you can prepare alone all you want, but you never know how it's going to be until you start trying to do it with your partner--your baby. And the first few days are so crucial--make sure you have that support there if you need it. We had them in our hospital and I just "ordered" a consultation every day I was there. I had several different consultants with different styles, some that clicked with me more than others.

    Once I was home, I still had some rought spots and was thrilled to learn my child's pediatrician had one in the office, who observed us to a feeding and gave us more tips. You may not have started interviewing pediatricians, but when you do, you might ask about that.

    2. Books: get a couple. I had about 3. No book has everything you'll need, and most will repeat, but when they repeat, one may say it a bit differently and that's how it will click for you. I thought Jack Newman's book was very good, except that his index is horrible! It became a joke-if I had a question and looked up a keyword in the index, it was never there. Madenning. Yet, other aspects of his book are great, particularly the parts about the formula marketing (that will keep you raring to breastfeed) and also the case studies of BF problems. Also, the thrush section is good, but warning: it won't say thrush, it will say Candida! (note that in your index!)

    3. Nursing pillow. My Brest Friend will truly be your best friend. It straps on and has a back pillow. The Boppy slid down my tummy and caused me to bend over, really hurting my back after a while.

    4. Nursing in public: I had no desire to nurse in public, either, and I'm very pro-breastfeeding. It's OK. I actually did not tkae my baby out that much in the early months. When I did I would use the car, or in the airport, I was able to find special handicapped/family bathrooms that were lounge-style that locked. They were clean and seemed not to be used very much.

    Later you can just pump before you leave and bring bottles of BM to feed your baby.

    5. Pump: the Medela Pump In Style Advanced comes with a hand-pump. The handpump can be handy. I used it in an airport during a layover to pump out a bottle for my child after we'd gone through her bottles, and I didn't want to BF in public. I didn't even know the handpump was in there until she was about two months old, though, b/c I didn't want to think about pumping and going back to work..

    6. Pain: I have heard it said that if it hurts, there's a latch problem. That's where your consultant comes in. I did hurt for a few days when we'd start nursing, but then it would go away durin the nursing. After a few days, no pain. So, get good help!

    Good luck and good for you for wanting to breastfeed.

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