Well, I did it.

[Judegirl]

I just put a splash of milk in dd's bottle (EBM) for the first time...maybe almost an ounce. She's 11 1/2 months, and while I really, really, wanted to make it to 1 year on BM exclusively, pumping over the past month has been excruciating. And I've been so stressed over whether she will or won't take milk and I'll have to keep pumping...and I just need to be done soon. I have been pumping since she was born, and EPing for almost 10 months. And she drinks a lot, so I pump a lot - 4-5 times a day for 45-60 minutes.

But I feel terrible. She drank the mixed milk and seemed fine with it, but I feel awful. I mean, it was only two more weeks.

It's not as if she hasn't had other foods anyway, so I don't know why this is so hard. But I feel so guilty.

I don't have a question. I guess I just wanted to share with people who might understand how lousy I feel. :(

Thanks,
Jude

[Saartje]

(((Jude)))

I don't know what else to say but that, so I'll leave it at that. Try not to feel guilty -- doing things "by the baby, not by the calendar" works in both directions, after all ;), and you're trying to do the best you can for your daughter. You're doing a great job. Keep it up.

[Katia]

11 1/2 months is an incredible accomplishment -- you should feel so great about that! An extra couple of weeks in either direction isn't significant, imo.

When I stress about how closely I'm able to follow current recommendations, I just remind myself that recommendations change over time anyway -- twenty years from now, the "experts" will probably have something entirely new to say. (That's what sells books, after all! ;-))

Let's figure 11 1/2 is pretty much a year -- congratulations for meeting your goal!

[eb1]

Congratulations on making it so long with pumping. I loathe pumping (and could never pump "enough" so if I'd needed to stop BFing before DS turned a year, I'd have had to switch to formula) and admire SO much women who manage to provide their babies with EBM via the pump. That's a serious accomplishment and, IMO, more challenging than BFing.

My guess is that you'd still have felt guilty even if you made it another two weeks. My 13-month-DS still nurses four times per day (and now takes organic cow's milk during the day too), and I had plans to eliminate one of the nursing sessions last week to free up our schedule. So I picked a day and skipped the session, and I felt so sad doing it that the next day we were back to four nursing sessions. I've read that weaning begins when solids are introduced, but honestly, every additional step towards weaning makes me depressed and feeling a little guilty.

Anyway, I think if I were in your shoes, I would be looking forward to throwing that pump out the window, and it's a great thing that your DD didn't reject the mixed milk. :)

[KrisM]

Jude,

11.5 months is awesome! I only pumped one extra a day for dad to give bottles when I was out and I hated that. I would love to say that if I had to, I'd EP, but I just don't know if I would really have that determination. I think you are just wonderful for doing it this long. So many other people wouldn't have even tried.

Personally, I am looking forward to May and starting to wean to cow's milk. I am ready to be done nursing. However, I am already starting to feel sad about it. I think part of it is just that they are growing up so fast and this is just another stage of their lives that is over.

[mudder17]

Wow, wow, wow! I'm so impressed that you've not only pumped for 11.5 months, but you EP'd for almost 10 months. That's just so impressive. I was frustrated and tired of pumping for about 2 months when I was trying to increase my supply and was so glad to hang up my horns about 2 weeks after she turned 1. I just can't imagine pumping for 6 months, let along 11.5 months! Awesome job Jude. I think I'm going to feel terrible when I wean, regardless of how long I go, just because it's a special relationship. You've really done an amazing job and did a really special thing for her by pumping all that milk!!! I don't think 2 weeks is going to make any difference.

Hugs!!

Eileen

Mother of Beautiful Kaya, www.chemicalgraphics.com/kaya
http://lilypie.com/baby2/040222/0/0/1/-5/.png

http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbo...n_gold_12m.gif , 13 months & counting
Kaya's cousin, due October 9th!!!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

She's a big healthy baby. Two weeks is no big deal. A splash mixed in with breastmilk is no big deal. (and is a good way to start to ease into it; it's not like you went cold turkey)

And when you talk about it later, you'll round up and say "I pumped for a year".

:)

[kath68]

You are amazing. EP'ing for that long is Herculean (in a female sort of way).

I think that guilt comes with the territory, but you have nothing to feel guilty on this one. You rock.

FWIW, I gave Charlie rice cereal two weeks before he turned six months, and felt the intense guilt of "why couldn't I just wait two more weeks...." In the end (and with months to reflect on it), I can say that two weeks just doesn't matter. You do the best that you can, and in your case, what you did is amazing.

[aliceinwonderland]

:)

Sorry you are feeling this way. But as you said, it is JUST two weeks. What irreparable harm can milk do now that it won''t do then? If anything, it is GOOD for her you aleady started a slow transition..

I felt this way when I started supplementing a bit. I got over it, eventually, and that is not even the same thing, as I have supplemented for almost 2 months now :(

I also gave Erik some milk in asippy, mainly to experiment. Reaction was neutral, very much in Erik fashion :)

[jbowman]

Jude--

Do not feel guilty! You are a total superhero(ine)!!! You are so awesome for pumping as long as you have! I think it is great to start transitioning at this time--pat yourself on the back!