Help! I think 4 mo dd is rejecting me!

[iib6]

For the past 3 nights she has cried and fussed when I tried to put her on the breast and has BF only when she is very tired. Last night she fell asleep on the breast after just a small snack and then was up overnight every 2-3 hours to BF. This week she has been taking a larger amount than normal from the bottle 6-8oz instead of 4-5oz. I definitely have plenty of supply (I usually pump 4-8 oz AFTER she BF and pump up to 45oz per day in addition to 3-4 BF sessions). Today I purposely did not pump the second time at work so that I would have a lot for her when I came home. I have not pumped since 12noon and I feel like bursting. DD has not eaten since 3pm(she took 8 oz at that time) and has refused the breast at 6(her regular time) at 7 and now at 7:45. She is sleepy and fussy now. I am going to cry! I don't want to give up BF yet! BF had been going extremely well - to the point that Mondays with the nanny were hard b/c DD did not want the bottle. I am a WOHM - a pediatrician - and I feel so guilty that I can't be with her all the time as it is . Any BTDT moms with any advice?

Oh - and she got her 4mo shots today - but she started complaining with BF two days ago. So I don't think it is just fussiness from the shots. I did give her some tylenol at 6pm prophylactically.

Thanks!
Ismee
mother to dd Auden 3/1/05

[KrisM]

Could she be teething? DS wouldn't nurse for a couple days just before the first tooth came in. He'd take a bottle though. I guess it was something about how he sucked that made nursing hurt.

Can you spend the upcoming weekend nursing all day? Just offer often and see how it goes.

Good luck.

[stcelia]

I just saw an LC this afternoon about several BF issues DS and I are having.

One thing I learned is that at 4 months the baby is much more efficient at getting milk from my breast, so he can actually be satiated after just 5-10 minutes. Since he had been taking 20 minutes for a feed, I thought that he had been hungry for the last two weeks and kept putting him to my breast, and then he'd get fussy.

Now I think that he wasn't hungry and I was trying to make him eat, which got him frustrated. Then I got frustrated.

Is she still peeing and pooping? If so, try not to sweat it and give yourself time. If you need to call/see an LC then do it. It's worth the money. Find a LLL meeting or leader. A lot of leaders will even come to your house and help. These are generally really nice, knowledgable and helpful ladies, in my experience.

Also, it sounds supply is in no way the issue, so quit torturing yourself by suddenly stopping the pumping. It must be hurting by now. You might end up with engorgement which has its own issues, so hook yourself up and get some relief!

[Timmersmom]

This sounds like a nursing strike situation. My DD did something similar to this - would only nurse at night for about 5 days. It is extremely difficult to deal with.

I agree with the PP who mentioned getting in touch with La Leche League. That's what I did, and the lady I spoke with over the phone was really helpful. She suggested I take an eyedropper full of EBM and dribble it on my nipple while holding DD very close so she could sort of taste the milk. This helped get her to latch back on. Oh, and another thing was to keep my hands off her head - when she's struggling to get away, to just let her, and try again later.

During the nursing strike, I would pump every time I would have nursed, so I would keep up the supply.

Good luck to you - I remember very well how frustrating nursing refusals can be to deal with!

[mamalia]

Okay so this may be "out-there-mama-thinking" but I am now convinced that my DD's fussing at the breast has to do with her unwillingness to go to sleep and wanting to stay up & spend time with me. If you're ready to follow my line of thinking then maybe you'll see signs that this is what's happening with your DD too...

In Ferber's "Solve your Child's Sleep Probs" book he talks about babies who depend upon their parents comforting to sleep as being very resistant to the comforting as they are falling asleep b/c they know it will be stopped as soon as they are asleep. He used the analogy of someone stealing your pillow every night, after a while you'd start to get pissy just thinking of going to sleep b/c it would mean your pillow would get stolen. Soooo since my DD falls asleep at the breast I figure she fights hard to stay up (and fusses while nursing) to avoid falling asleep and getting put down for naps and bedtime.

This theory of mine is much better than what I used to think it was due to - Thrush. And it seems to be that she fusses most when she's already tired. Knowing this I just pat and talk to her extra during these sessions until she's ready to get started and DH and I are starting a new sleep routine with her.

Hang in there!
Malia

[iib6]

Thank you so much to all of you who responded with suggestions. Kris - I don't think it is teething - she has been drooling and sucking on her fingers just as much now as she had been 1 month ago and she is not particularly fussy - unless I am trying to get her to go on the breast. I know it is not an ear infection as she just had her 4 month check up yesterday. I will definitely spend this entire three day weekend BFing - usually over the weekend we don't give any bottles anyways. Unfortunately due to my work schedule (usually 7am-6pm), Auden gets 3-4 bottles during the day with the nanny.

I liked Malia's thoughts - we are definitely also having trouble with Auden's sleep, specifically getting her to go to sleep. However she was resisting BF even yesterday morning after she had just woken up and even after she got her shots at the pediatrician's office. It wasn't until we got home and after she had fallen asleep in her carseat that I was able to nurse a little. She didn't take as much as she usually does thought b/c the next bottle was an 8oz bottle - just 1 1/2 hours after she had nursed. Malia, did you find that your db resisted BF even during the daytime when it wasn't time to sleep?

Of course I am feeling even more rejected as it is only the nanny who gives the bottle and - other than quit my job - there is nothing I can do about that. My dh is very supportive - but he just doesn't think that this is a big deal and can't understand why I feel rejected.

I did see a LC during the first week who made a house call and was very good. I will give her a call to see if she has any other suggestions.

Thanks again everyone!
Ismee

[skating mom]

I can completely relate. My son cried and fussed while nursing at 6 months. He went on a nursing strike and would only nurse at night, when sleepy. When he was 6 months I went back to work and he started to get a bottle 4 times a day. Basically, I believe the bottle was more reliable in terms of constant supply, and he preferred that to the more variable nursing. I tried for 6 weeks to lure him back to the breast, to no avail. I cried every day, because I felt totally rejected and wasn't ready to give that part of the relationship up. I don't have any advice for you, but you're not alone in experiencing this. My DS is now 18 months old, I have more perspective and now look back and realize I tried my best and that's all we can ever do. I wish I had been less emotional about it, because he's healthy and just fine.

[Rachels]

I was thinking it sounds like nursing strike stuff, too. Here is some info for you on that:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbo...ethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[sntm]

Ismee -- you should consider checking out lactnet or ABM as a professional.

the LCs on Lactnet brought up a great analogy which I like. Fussing at the breast is often interpreted to be fussing about breastfeeding. They likened it to fussing about other things, like you do when you grab coffee with friends.

"Mom, I had the toughest day." Sip, sip, push away, cry "I wanted to rollover so badly and I just couldn't!!!" Sip, sip, push away, cry "And my diaper kept feeling wet and then the nanny would get me naked to change it!" Fuss, fuss.

So, it's not you. It's not necessarily even that something is wrong. Just let her fuss a little, while you hold her with skin-to-skin time, and let her nurse as she likes.

And teething can last a long time. I'm convinced that teethers are either fast or slow. My son takes 6-8 weeks for each tooth. So, it may just be ramping up a little. Trying a little tylenol wouldn't be off base.
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shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_sapphire_24m.gif[/img][/url]
Breastfeeding 2 years & counting

[Moneypenny]

My DD will go through phases like this every once in a while and I've decided it's when she's ready to change her schedule a bit. The first time it happened, I panicked, but then I decided that at each nursing session I would just try for a few minutes, and if it didn't work that time, we'd try again in an hour or so. Sometimes the next hour she would latch on and eat well, sometimes she wouldn't. Every time she hits one of these phases, she seems to sort herself out within a week and then it's smooth sailing for a few months until the next time. I find it's important for me to not stress over it. I'd find myself at each session just pleading with her to eat, and I'm sure she could pick up on my stress. I realized that when she's hungry, she will eat, so it's my job to just be sure I offer the breast often, and if we need to do a few nights of night feedings while she settles into a new daytime feeding schedule, then that's what I do. Good luck!
Susan
mama to my cutie pie, Avery