Anyone BF'ing made to feel like a pervert?

[brittone2]

My son ended up w/ a cavity (small, and on the back of one of his upper central incisors) at 18 months that had to be filled (no novacaine because it was superficial for the most part). Anyway, we night nurse a lot, that's just the way things are around here. Our ped dentist is supposedly the most BFing friendly in the area and he strongly discouraged nursing at night :( I tried to have DS cut back a bit and that lasted ummm...about one night ;) He's 20 months now and still nursing lots at night.

The American Dental Association policy actually does discourage night nursing after the first tooth erupts :( Apparently they and the AAP are trying to get their ideas into alignment so hopefully they'll change their policies. There is plenty of research out there saying BFing at night does *NOT* cause cavities. We've always consistently brushed DS's teeth at least before bedtime. I'm not sure what happened to cause his cavity (part of it is probably the shape of his teeth...on the back of his upper central incisors it is sort of cusp shaped...the cavity was in the cusp). After reading I decided we'd do the best we could to brush frequently throughout the day (we brush 4-5 times a day since the cavity was discovered) and we introduced xylitol products (check out spry gel if you are interested).

Our dentist did not mention xylitol or any other alternatives to night weaning. When we went back to actually have the tooth filled, I explained DS has constipation issues, isn't a big solids eater, and that we were going to continue night nursing. I did say we introduced xylitol (which he was in favor of but of course never mentioned it until I brought it up) and we were doing that multiple times a day and being as careful as possible about brushing. He seemed okay with it after I made him aware night weaning was NOT happening around here.

Sadly he is the most BFing friendly ped dentist in the area. He didn't make me feel like a pervert, but seemed convinced night nursing was to blame. There is research out there on both sides, but it is a combo of food on the teeth plus milk that creates an environment where cavities can take hold. Also, the presence of strep mutans, (which xylitol helps eliminate) which explains why some kids get them and some don't.

I'm dealing w/ our dentist. DS has a follow up in December. We'll see how it goes. I will say if our dentist had made me feel like a pervert for nursing DS, I would not return. I can deal with his advice to night wean (by disregarding it completely LOL) but the hint that it is perverse in some way would upset me tremendously. Totally inappropriate on his part. If he wants to give dental advice, fine, but his opinion on your BFing "relationship" with DS should be off limits.

[lisams]

Creepy. It is so sad that our society has so sexualized breasts that the act of breastfeeding is seen as sexual to some. It doesn't matter if the child is 3 years or 3 months, breastfeeding is a normal way of feeding, comforting and healing children. When a child turns one it doesn't all of the sudden become sexual.

I'm so sorry, he is obviously clueless and needs an education so he doesn't make another mom feel the way he made you feel.

[lisams]

Good job for standing up for your decisions and for finding alternative ways to deal with the situation! I've never heard of xylitol, that sounds really interesting. I have read in a few different places about how breastfeeding prevents cavities, and like you said it only is a concern if there is food already on the teeth because then the food and breastmilk together can cause problems. There is also a campaign started around here discouraging parents from sharing spoons, etc with their children because of the strep mutans that can spread from parent to child which can cause cavaties.

I think it's awesome that you are being so proactive and finding alternatives that work for your family!

[brittone2]

Thanks for that support. Since weaning isn't an option, it at least makes me feel like we are doing the best we can. If he gets more cavities, I'll obviously be sad, but his emotional self matters a lot to me as well and he is definitely not ready to wean or even night wean.

I had never realized strep mutans was the cause of almost all early childhood cavities until we went through this. I'm impressed you are from an area where there is education on it taking place. I had no idea it was so common! I think it is 20% of the population carries strep mutans. The things I read also emphasize parents should use the xylitol to help control it since it spreads between family members. DH and I have had very few cavities between us so we have no idea if we have the strep mutans and gave it to DS or not, but we use the adult spry (mint) paste now for ourselves and spry infant gel (sometimes the mint toothpaste too now) on DS.

Where do you live (just curious about general area...) that they are so proactive about strep mutans? That's really great!

I attribute most of what i learned from a great yahoo group if anyone is interested. It is called veryyoungkidsteeth. It is very AP/pro BFing but the folks there were so helpful when I was so conflicted over what to do and in such distress that I somehow "caused" this in my DS.

[lisams]

I live in Arizona, here is a link with information about the campaign http://www.azdhs.gov/cfhs/ooh/itd_index.htm. It seems really informative and nowhere does it talk about weaning from breastfeeding.

[kath68]

I know how you feel.

At my annual appt with my OB about a month ago, the nurse practitioner was shocked that I was still bf'ing. It came up because she had to do a breast exam.

I like her a lot, but was really surprised how unsupportive she was. She basically said that at this point my ducts aren't that active (according to her breast exam; IMO leftie is doing just fine), so DS at this point bf'ing is more about me than about DS's needs. She suggested that I introduce a lovey and start the weaning process. That way DS would be less dependent on me, and I can sleep better, etc. I got the distinct feeling that she rarely sees bf'ing moms of 18 mo olds in her practice.

Now, admittedly I was talking to her about how stressed, overtired and over-stretched I am, and night weaning is not a horrible idea. But I did walk out of there feeling a little insulted. While I don't go advertising that I am still bf'ing, it never crossed my mind that people these days (esp. an NP in a California OB practice) would find it abnormal. I guess there just aren't as many moms bf'ing 18 month olds as I thought.

As she is in the medical profession, dealing with moms all the time, I figure she must know about the AAP recs. So I didn't kick up a fuss or defend myself. Maybe I should have, but it would have taken more energy than I had, and she was offering advice to help me. So I just nodded and moved the conversation along.

FWIW, DS and I aren't ready to give it up yet, esp. as cold and flu season is upon us. Yes, we have the occasional night feeding, but my life management stresses are not from bf'ing. And it seems to me that if DS is asking for it, it is certainly as much for him (if not more) than it is for me).

[brittone2]

Ahhh...that's right!! I totally forgot myself there..how could I forget the BFing law change you helped create there :)

Wow, cool link. I had never heard of not sharing spoons, etc. until I started reading up on strep mutans *after* I found out Logan had a cavity.

[Tondi G]

I had a similar situation when my first was still BFing at 15 or 18 months. I called my regular doctor cause I had an Upper Resp. infection and needed antibiotics. I spoke with the nurse and told her that I needed something that didn't have amoxicillian in it as DS was allergic to it and I was still nursing. Her response was... "STILL? Oh you gotta stop that... he's too old now!" I just shut my mouth and took my prescription and was on my way! Some people just need to keep their mouths shut.... it has nothin to do with them!

~Tondi
Mommy to Mason 7/8/01 and Aidan 5/4/05