i think we weaned. i have mixed feelings. but i think i am sad.

[lizajane]

can i maybe just talk about it? i didn't nurse dylan this morning. really by accident. i wasn't planning it for today. i felt like it had to be a certain special day or after i had a very special nursing session with him. but instead, today i got up and got ready to go to watch DH in a triathlon. the kids were still asleep (a mean, awful joke... they NEVER both sleep past 7am...) so i got everything ready, then loaded them into the car in PJs (knowing that DH's best friend's kids would help me dress them at the race- they are 13.5 and almost 8) i already had breakfast all packed up, planning to feed them on a picnic blanket.

i thought i would nurse dylan and then get schuyler up and go. but he didn't wake up. and then i thought i would nurse him when we got tot he race ( i SO don't care what people think about me nursing my 16 month old in public...) but he was too busy playing with the girls (the friend's kids) or sucking his binky and sitting in my lap with lambie blankie. he never tried to nurse.

i thought maybe i would nurse him later in the day, but whenever i thought it might happen, dh gave him a sippy of rice or soy milk and he drank it. (if i give him one when he wants to nurse, he throws it on the ground and screams at me.)

so i never did. and now the day is over. so i feel like i really am ready and i kept waiting for "the" moment. but then i feel like that is silly and this was our natural way of letting it go. but then i feel sad. what if he is my last child?

boo hoo hoo.

i am so tired all the time and i do feel like i am ready to let go. but feeling like i am ready and actually doing it...

thanks for listening.

ETA: well, i thought he would wake up this morning desperate to nurse. but no. i was stunned really. he woke up around 5am and DH took him some milk in a sippy. when he woke up screaming at 7am, i went to get him and all he wanted to do was sit in my lap with binky and lambie. he just sat. perfectly still. i think he knew. he never once tried to nurse at all. he just sat. he needed me, but he didn't need milk. so i guess he was ready afterall. so there we are.

[DebbieJ]

Oh Liza, it's so bittersweet, isn't it?? I'm tearing up just reading your post.

(((HUGS)))

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
2 year check up: 25 lbs with clothes on and 35 inches!
BFARed for 20 months and 6 days
(Breastfeeding After Reduction is possible! www.bfar.org)

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/sty...onths-bfar.jpg

[mudder17]

Huge hugs to you Liza! You should save this post in a little book of memories for him when he gets older. It is really quite moving.

If it helps, Kaya sends you a little hug and kiss. :)

Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 27 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catca...-6_Kaya+is.png
Kaya will be a sister, ~11/14/06!

[mommyoftwo]

Oh Liza, I'm sorry you are having a rough time with this. I'm sure I will too when the time comes especially since we can't have any more. When I found out I couln't nurse Amelia anymore, I was pretty devestated. So I understand to some degree how you are feeling. {{{Big hugs!!}}}

[hez]

Lots and lots of hugs, Liza.

[buddyleebaby]

Hugs, and a pat on the back for a job well done.

[Elilly]

I know what you mean about not realizing that you've already had your last nursing session. While I understand you sadness, I am so happy that Dylan is adjusting so well.

[JMS]

Oh Liza,
I'm tearing up too reading your post. It's got to be so hard. It may sound crazy, but I often say that the last time I nurse my last child (which is probably DS) will be one of the sadest days of my life.
Congratulations on such a great accomplishment and I'm so happy that he's taking it like a champ. Hang in there, you're one great Mommy. :)

[Lovingliv]

Lizajane, congrats on a wonderful nursing relationship! You did a great job!

[kozachka]

Huge hugs, Liza. It's a tough transition for you but I am glad to hear that Dylan is adjusting so well. He still might surprise you and want to nurse again, when our nursing relationship was winding down we've had days when DS would not ask for mommy's milk for couple day so you never know. Either way, you should congratulate yourself on the job well done.