New To The Group

[mamatosami]

Hello, I am new here, I am Susan. My husband and I have a 5 yr old daughter adopted from Guatemala. We are in the process of doing a Domestic adoption and I have just been struggling on when to start buying things. We are about 2 weeks away from starting to be shown to birth moms. When should I start doing things? Our daughter came home at 14 months old so I don't have any baby things, we do have the crib she used which is white so I don't have to worry about a crib.

Any suggestions on what to be doing??

Thanks, Susan

[JustMe]

Hi Susan,

I also have a daughter adopted from Guatemala, she will be 5 in February!

Congratulations on moving forward with your second adoption. I'm sorry this section of the board doesn't seem to be very active. I don't check it very often myself. I tend to use other forums for adoption related discussion/information, because I started out there and this board just isn't very active in this are, and the BBB for general mommy related issues. Anyway, sorry I can't help to answer your questions as I have no experience with domestic adoption. I am considering adoption from foster care sometime in the future, but have no experience at this time.

Good luck to you!

[icunurse]

Hi and welcome!

We have adopted twice domestically. As far as getting the room ready and stuff, I think it all comes down to your comfort level. Not sure how your agency works, but ours called every time you were being considered and tried to match before birth (so there was always the risk of a failed placement). When waiting for our first child, we had the room ready and lots of little "essentials" we would need before we'd have a baby shower - onesies, bottles, carseat, bathtub, etc. Some people choose to wait, as seeing an empty room is too depressing for them. For us, we wanted things in order and, for the most part, it gave us hope it wouldn't be empty long.

For our second adoption, we chose to take the simple route. We wanted to protect DS from any failed placements or bumps along the way. We just told him that, one day, he'd have a baby brother or sister. We moved DS into a new room (which was more transition for him than we thought it would be) when we were matched. It ended up not working out. So, we kept the nursery intact and, during our wait, I picked up the essentials again - some onesies, neutral color sleepers, different bottles, etc. When we were matched with DD, she was already born, but we still didn't want to get our hopes up. We ended up finding out we were chosen on a Tuesday and bringing her home on Thursday...and stopping along the way home at Walgreens for formula and diapers!

So, like I said, it all comes down to your comfort level and how you plan to prepare DD for this. Will a prepared room and baby stuff be too difficult for you or your DD to look at during the wait or if there is a failed placement? Newborns really don't need that much stuff, honestly, especially since you already have the crib. Most stuff can be grabbed during a quick run to Target, at least enough to get you started. If nothing else, make a list of things you will need, so you have some kind of plan for things you need right then and things you can buy over time (toys, solid feeding stuff, etc).

Hope this helps a bit. Please feel free to ask any questions. We have two fully open adoptions, so if I can help with anything, let me know
Good luck with everything!