advice for a salesperson avoider?

[fayebird]

Hello all,

This is my first post on this forum and I'm afraid it's going to make me look like a cranky person. I also posted it in my local forum, so I apologize for the double posting, but I want general information as well as any information that is relevant to the DC area. I hope someone will help me with some advice -- specific or general!

My wedding is August 2 and I have not yet started shopping for the gown because everything I've heard has made me dread the experience. I'm very shy and I don't like people to intrude on me when I'm trying to make a decision about clothing. Salespeople, in particular, make me feel uncomfortable.

My specific issues:

1. I'm private -- I don't like someone dressing or undressing me (I understand that there is probably no getting around this)
2. Even more importantly, I'm an independent shopper -- I know what looks good on me and do NOT want or need the unsolicited opinion of a bridal shop's attendant on what looks good on me and doesn't look good on me or how a particular dress works or does't work. Plus, I'm truly shy. If someone is lurking and gawking at me while I try things on, I won't be able to relax enough to really decide if I look good. I'm not even sure I want my best friend with me when I first try on gowns!

My specific questions:

1. Are there any reputable shops that sell higher end dresses where one is allowed to look at the gowns and select which ones to try on?

2. Are any of them hands-off with you while you try on?

3. In case of a salesperson who may just be doing her job, is there a tactful way to suggest that I don't want her to linger around after she helps me into the dress, and don't want any feedback or opinions on the dresses?

I know I probably sound like a misanthrope, and it's quite possible that I am! But I genuinely dread this gown shopping so much. To me, it seems extremely intrusive and horrible. I'd forgo the whole experience and am seriously considering doing just that, except I really want something nice.

Please share your thoughts and advice! Thanks so much for reading.

[virtualvoice]

I don't have any DC experience, but here is some of what I found:

1. I found the majority of bridal shops would let me look around at their dressed before trying anything on. The only one that didn't that I tried was David's bridal, where which they scolded my friend for going to get/look for more dresses for me.

2. Most of them help you into/out of dresses (they're usually pretty big and bulky and often hard to find the openings, I guess, or at least to lace up). David's Bridal & one other shop that I went to had too many people and therefore had to leave me on my own for a little bit.

Dressing/undressing isn't so bad (I'm shy, too). You put on the corset/bra-thingy & a slip on your own, and then the salesperson or your friend can help you put the dresses on/off. You are covered up pretty well and it was a little weird to get used to (I had no clue I'd need help to get in/out of dresses!) but it wasn't so bad.


3. I found most salespeople did not judge the dresses on me. If anything they waited for my reaction & asked me questions about what I liked/disliked to get me thinking about what I liked as well as to help them think of more dress ideas that fit my tastes. (They may agree after I say I like/dislike something, but they never really volunteered lots of opinions...)


I found at several shops they left me for a bit, either to get another dress, a veil/accessory to add to it, or to let me think about it a little bit (they have to be patient for their jobs & I don't remember ever feeling rushed to go to the next dress). It should be no problem if you want some moments alone to think, I wouldn't hesitate asking. (Or worst case, ask for more dresses, haha!)

Good luck to you!

[fayebird]

That was a good reply. I finally stopped putting off the inevitable and went gown shopping today. I had a pretty good experience at Hitched DC. The salesperson was new, so maybe she wasn't experienced enough to be overbearing! I felt that the owner, who was hovering a bit, was more interested in her opinion of what might look good on me than mine, but I was assertive and I've found four gowns within my budget that I can actually picture buying.

I will try one more store, but if it's not as nice, I will just walk out and go back to Hitched.

Faye

[epistle]

Hi ladies
For modesty's sake don't go to Carolina Bridal World, off of 95 near those outlets in North Carolina. The sales woman kept walking in on me as I was in the middle of dressing (and still naked!) and was demanding, pushy, and all those things you want to avoid. She had a very used-car salesman type feel and got ugly when I didn't find anything that worked for me. Besides, the gowns were over-priced, dirty, and poorly cared for. All in all a bad experience.