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  1. #1
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    Default 3 yr old boy and potty training!

    My DS turned 3 in January and we are having potty training issues! All of my friends with kids this age happen to have girls (who have had no issues with potty training) so they can't offer a lot of advice.

    DS first started showing in interest in potty training around Halloween of last year- he would tell me that he had to go on the potty at home, at the store - where ever we were. Then he just stopped. Now, he'll go a once or twice a day at home, but nothing is consistent. If I let him run around naked, he does tell me that he has to go (he won't pee on the floor), but the second I put either a pull up or underwear on him, he goes in it.

    I know he is ready, but I don't know how to give him that final push. I'm feeling kind of under the gun because I have another child due early May and I'd like to get him PT before that (even though I know there will probably be some regression).

    Can anyone offer any advice of where to go from here?

  2. #2
    kedss is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    hi-

    boys take longer than girls, we were basically potty trained by 3 and a half,but we still have occasional accidents,when he is too busy doing other stuff.

    Have you tried taking him out to pick out underwear?

    I'm due in June, and I'm hoping we ave enough time under our belts so we don't regress.

    Try to relax, and don't worry so much about what other kid are doing-
    big hugs

    ETA- I should have said in my experience boys take longer than girls, I was a preschool teacher, and the majority of the time, the girls were potty trained before the boys were.
    Last edited by kedss; 03-14-2008 at 10:14 AM.


    Kate
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  3. #3
    hellokitty is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    If I were you I'd let it slide. If your 2nd baby is due in may, getting your first son PT'd soon, would probably result in his regression when the baby arrives. My 2.5 yr old has been able to use the potty since he was 2 and went from doing well and not wanting to go on the potty anymore. It is frustrating, and he is stubborn and I'm just going to wait it out. My oldest son PT'd when he was 2.5 yo in only a few days, every child is different. I figured that since we were able to PT him rather painlessly, that DS2 wouldn't be an issue either. Boy, was I wrong.

    Anyway, I have friends who were in your situation, they got their DS PT'd within 2 mo of the arrival of the new baby, only to pull their hair out afterwards, b/c their sons totally regressed after the baby arrived and they spent another yr dealing with a lot of accidents (esp poop issues) and frustration. You will be stressed out when baby #2 arrives, when baby #2 is 6 mo old, things will improve a lot (you start to feel human again), and then you can re-visit PTing DS1 again if you're up to it. Oh, and about girls, EVERYTHING with girls is usually easier at this age. Boys are tough, I know b/c I've got two of them, and my friends with girls have totally different experiences than I do. Many of them are PT'd by 18 mo, not b/c the parents' pushed them, but b/c they wanted to PT!!! I learned a long time ago, just not to compare anything, b/c boys are girls are like night and day, the girls seem to do everything more quickly and I used to stress about it when my DS1 was an only child, after DS2 arrived, I didn't have time to stress or care about that kind of stuff and I realize now that it was not worth my effort to fret over those type of things back then, it just made me feel insecure as a parent to compare my child.

    Look at it this way, it's not like he'll go to college still wearing diapers, he'll eventually PT, whether it's this yr or next, in the long run it won't make a huge difference, BUT it can be very emotionally trying to get a child to PT who isn't on the same page. I've had so many friends that went through this and that is one reason why I am being lax with DS2 and not pushing him to PT, even though I know he is technically capable of it, he is very resistant right now, mr. opposite boy, so I just don't feel like struggling with him over this, b/c I know it will just drive me nutso.
    Mom to 3 LEGO Maniacs

  4. #4
    hbridge is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by kedss
    boys take longer than girls
    That may be true for some, but this is not always the case. I'm sorry, I just hate these generalizations since some children don't fit these molds and it just makes the parents more panicked about things...

    Anyway, try sitting him on the potty every three hours or so for five minutes. Just to get him in the habit and give him time to go. We had to use chocolate when DC resisted, but eventually we were able to give that up as well. Good luck and try to remember that he is young, regardless of what his friends are doing... He will get there...

  5. #5
    JBaxter's Avatar
    JBaxter is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by kedss
    hi-

    boys take longer than girls, we were basically potty trained by 3 and a half,but we still have occasional accidents,when he is too busy doing other stuff.

    Have you tried taking him out to pick out underwear?

    I'm due in June, and I'm hoping we ave enough time under our belts so we don't regress.

    Try to relax, and don't worry so much about what other kid are doing-
    big hugs

    I COMPLETELY disagree boys take longer than girls. My boys were all 2 - 2 1/2 when completely daytime toilet trained as were my nephews ( all 3 under 2 1/2) and I know many girls who were well over 3.
    You cant make generalizations because of gender. Lots of people assume boys take longer and dont start earlier with them
    I trained all mine the same way 1 week naked. stick to them like glue the first few days are hard and by the day 3 or 4 we had it down.
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  6. #6
    KBecks is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I waited a long time before deciding to push it a little. Alek is 3.5 and he would go to the potty consistently if naked. I was concerned about him developing the skills to pull his pants/underwear on and off, but once I saw him do that with enough success, I started dressing him in underwear (at first with no pants) and now with sweatpants or elastic waist pants. We have even gone out several times with no accidents, but he will have accidents at home a little and after a nap. He's now really making a connection that he doesn't like being wet so it's a matter of continuing to practice every day.

    It will click eventually. I would look to see if he seems to have all the skills he needs and if he does, go ahead and make the switch to undies or training pants. Good luck!

    ETA: I never made my son go on the potty or take him every hour or anything like that (I didn't want to hassle with it and it would have been an unpleasant power struggle between us). I wanted him to develop the feeling and respond to his own senses of when he needed to use the toilet. I'm really happy with how it's worked out for us, although it did mean we waited longer.
    Last edited by KBecks; 03-14-2008 at 11:12 AM.
    Karen, mom to three beautiful boys, 10/2004, 7/2006 and 10/2008!
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  7. #7
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    My DS was similar. Naked trained by 2 years 6 months without any problems, but refused to wear underpants or if he did he had accidents. It was frustrating as I knew he could do it, as he did when naked. A friend is a preschool teacher and she said not to push, that it would be a power struggle and wait it out. I let him keep doing naked time and every now and then would try underwear without success. Then one day, 4 months later, he woke up and said he wanted underwear and a button shirt and go to work like Daddy. We went to target bought button shirts and more underpants, and that was it. We still had accidents in that first week, but the difference was he was willing to go back into underwear, previously he wanted a diaper. Then we had a problem at preschool - he refused to go at school and would have accidents. The teachers told me to wait it out and that he would get over it, it took about 3 weeks, but then he was fine.

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