I just noticed this post.
I reunited with my birthmother several years ago. We are no longer in contact, but I'm very glad that I got a chance to meet her and get some of my questions answered. My birthfather died before I was able to find him.
How you go about it depends on the state you were born/adopted in. And in some states the procedure can vary based on the year you were born. Many states have changed their laws to allow adopted adults to have access to their birth records. In this case you can get your birthparents information just be asking the state (filling out a bunch of paperwork) and paying a fee. But the info you get will be 36 years old. Your birthmother will probably have moved and may have changed her name. You will still need to do some work to locate her.
Other states use an intermediary system. In my case (Michigan, born in the early 1970s) I had to hire a court appointed intermediary to locate and contact my birthmother on my behalf and see if she was intersted in reunion. (I'm against this type of system on principle, but I had no other option.) Once my birthmother had signed the consent form, I was given her name and address.
I suggest that you contact an adoptee search/support group in your birth state. These groups are often amazing resources for knowing the laws and the best search techniques for that state. They can also provide great support for the roller coaster of emotions that takes place during search and reunion. Many of these groups have an online presence, so you may be able to google them.
Beware of online services that claim they can find your birthparents for a fee. Many of these are scams and prey on adoptees and birthparents. Often they either cannot access the information (records are sealed) or they information they provide is very outdated.
Most importantly wanting to know your birthparents and your early history does NOT in any way take away from your adoptive family. And don't let anyone make you think it does. I have wonderful, strong relationships with my adoptive parents. They fully understand that my need to know about my birth family is not about them. I needed information and answers that only my birthparents could give me. If was not about being adopted, it was about being relinquished. These are seperate (though related) events and my Mom and Dad understood that.
Feel free to PM me if you want to "talk".
Gena
DS, age 11 and always amazing
“Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong