UPDATE: Help! DD is 1 today and STILL not eating food

[ha98ed14]

UPDATE:

I just wanted to say Thank You for all the support and suggestions. Things are better. DD is eating food! We have been spoon feeding Earth's Best. I know it is baby food from a jar, but right now this is working for us. After some trial and error, we found Prunes & Oatmeal and the Rice & Lentels are her faves, so she gets at least one jar of those each every day. I switched from Cheerios to Trader Joe Os, per egoldber's advice to find something more with more nutitional punch. These are protien fortified, so that seems better. We are continually looking for things to trow into the mix. I think she will continue to make progress and as she gets more dexterity and teeth, we will introduce more rough/ textured foods that require more chewing that she can self feed. Right now, I am confident that a piece of toast would just end up on the floor, but maybe I will try it later today. She took to whole milk really well. I am thinking of keeping a bottle of formula in there for the DHA & ARA. Anyway, I bookmarked this thread, so a big THANK YOU to all of you wonderful moms for your advice
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She will pick up cheerios and herself those, but she won't try anything else. Pasta, peas, beans, cheese, I have tried these and other things too in little bits. She ate banana from my hand once. But now it is like she in on a food strike. I took her to the doctor this week and she has actually lost weight since March. The ped told me to stop feeding her formula (she was exclusively FF, no BF) and switch her to whole milk. That transition has happened, and she takes the milk fine. She was on Similac, which is milk-based, so I thought it would be fine on whole milk.

Basically, I am trying to switch her from 5 6oz bottles of Similac plus random cheerios and baby food thrown in, to 3 4oz bottles of whole milk and a lot more food. Well, she will take the milk, but is not so interested in more food.

Unfortunately, since the doctor's appointment, she and I have gotten into a battle of wills with my trying to get her to eat more and now she will not let me or DH feed her anything. Today, I put macaroni, beans, peas, and cheese on her tray. She just mashed it into the tray and pushed it around and then started screaming until I gave her, yup, you guessed it, CHEERIOS!

Any ideas?

[bubbaray]

Yeah, the battle of wills is not a good place to be.

OK, take a deep breath. Baby steps. I would offer her milk after she eats. If she seems really thirsty before a meal, offer her water. She's probably going to resist this for a couple of days. But, that is what I'd try.

If she's losing weight, I would try to make sure that what food I do offer is "densely nutritious". For example, in Canada we have special toddler Nutrios that are basically Cheerios with extra iron. If you are offering pasta, you could do the Deceptively Delicious thing and add pureed veggies to whatever sauce (cauliflower for white sauce, pretty much anything to a red sauch). I also make a red pasta sauce that the girls like that is 1 large can diced tomatoes, garlic, italian seasoning and a largish can of chick peas (sometimes I add a sauteed onion, but its fine without). I run the whole thing through a hand blender or regular blender. Its nice with parmesan cheese on top too.

Also, little kids like different textures than you'd expect -- and every kid is different too. For example, my DD#1 has never been a big veggie fan. DD#2's favorite foods are cooked from frozen sweetlet peas or frozen mixed veggies. It took us a while to figure out what DD#2 liked b/c it was so different from what DD#1 liked.

Don't give up -- maybe just take a step back and try to get your DD eating again, even if that means baby food.

Good luck!

[trales]

DD who is 14 months, will not ever eat anything but cheerios by hand. Everything needs to come on a spoon or it is swiped off the high chair and to the dogs.

I just got her to eat whole peas, by hiding them in sweet potatoes and buttercup squash puree (homemade) with laxative and butter mixed in. The sweet potatoes and squash are pretty sweet.

That is today, yesterday she ate almost nothing. We have the battle of wills, with the clenched mouth and swiping hand. Argg, sometimes I want to tie her grimy little hands down.

Sometimes games help, but not always, and seeing other kids eat helps a bit also.

Why does the doc want no more formula? If it were not for the breastmilk, I think she would starve. Could you use formula as a last resort if she has not eaten much all day, or as a reward for eating some food from a spoon.

Good luck.

[egoldber]

I am also confused by the no formula if she is not eating a variety of solids. Formula is a complete food (has all the nurtrition they need) but whole milk is not.

I would also recommend getting one of Ellyn Satter's feeding books. It is not your job to make her eat. Your job is to provide nutritious food. It is her job to eat and to decide how much.

Also, if it were me, I would stop giving Cheerios. I would cut them out cold turkey. They are not terrible, but they are not a super nurtritious food either. If she is refusing other food for Cheerios, then I would just not make Cheerios an option.

[ha98ed14]

We have the battle of wills, with the clenched mouth and swiping hand. Argg, sometimes I want to tie her grimy little hands down.

I KNOW! I have actually pondered (just pondered) getting a long sleeved T a couple sizes too big and tying the end of the arms together to make a little baby strait jacket! Luckily she is the first child and we don't have any kid-size T shirts that are too big, but man sometimes you feel like they think you are trying to feed them castor oil!

I KNOW I just need to take a step back. Ok, many steps. In fact, I would kind of like to run away right now and leave DD with DH. He was good and took over trying to feed her when he got home. He failed too, so that makes me feel a little better because she consistently perfers him over me, so at least if he fails, I know I had no hope of sucess. I feel bad, Like I brought it on myself because of what I will refer to as " bean incident." I cannot believe I did it, but I forced some beans into her mouth because she kept turning her head. I had just come from the ped and was freaked out because she had lost weight, etc. I shouldn't have lost my cool. But I gotta wonder, as plus-size as I am, I would not in 1000 years thought that any child of mine would not want to eat. Ironic, eh?

So, I will try your suggestions. Melissa and Tracy, you have been so responsive to my pleas for help! I really appreciate it! THANK YOU!

[ha98ed14]

The no more formula was because she is not getting enough fat in her diet. He said it is why she is growing taller, but losing weight, so she is thinning out overall. The whole milk has more fat. Plus he told me that at 1 y.o. they should be taken off formula anyway. But I guess it really only makes sense to remove the whole food (formula) if she is eating a variety of other foods to get her nutritional needs met, which we have already determined she isn't. So maybe I should do half formula, half whole milk until her eating becomes more regular. The ped was pretty adimant that she needed more fat than she was getting in the formula.

I am afraid that if I cut out the cheerios completely, she won't feed herself anything. She won't eat what we (or at least I) try to feed her, so getting anything into her is contigent upon her putting it in her own mouth. I am afriad of loosing the pattern of self-feeding. I only gave her the cheerios today after 3 attempts througout the day (10 AM, noon, and 3PM.)
of trying to get her to eat the things I listed in o.p. But she just sat there screaming and I couldn't take it, so I threw 6 cheerios on her tray and she gobbled them up. Little Gobblin! :P

[bubbaray]

Tracey/Beth -- I got the impression from this and previous posts (IIRC) that the transition to milk from formula happened back in March. I've never used formula with either of my kids, so I don't know if you can go from milk back to formula once you've made the transition.

What about adding toddler formula, like En***row or whatever its called. Again, just tossing ideas out there -- I've never done formula and have no idea how/if the toddler ones are different/better than the regular formula.

I remember shoving food into DD#1's mouth one day. Not one of my better mommy moments, but I was sooooooo frustrated that she wouldn't eat. With her, it really was just a stage/battle of wills (one of many I'm afraid).

I would back right off on the finger food. If she eats better for your DH, well, guess what HIS new task is, LOL. Both my girls eat better for my DH. So, they sit beside him.

Go back to baby food, but add cereal (organic, whole wheat if possible) to bulk it up. Offer different food at different times of the day -- for example, my DD#2 eats the most at breakfast (man, can she pack it away), but hardly a thing for dinner.

Another food that my DD#2 likes a LOT is toast. With butter. That's it.

Both girls like edamame too. I break them in half for DD#2. I buy them frozen and microwave them.

Oh, and I was adding canola oil to a lot of her food on the advice of an allergy nutritionist. That was to bump up her fat intake when she was on rice milk (she's now on whole milk) and b/c she can't eat any fish -- canola oil is a good source of omega 3s. That's the kind of thing I was thinking of when I mentioned looking for nutritionally dense foods. If you're gonna cook with oil anyway, it might as well be one that adds nutritional benefit to her food, KWIM?

From the earliest age with both my girls, if they flung the food on the ground, that was the end of the meal for them. Mainly to maintain (what little is left of ) my sanity, but also for our dog's health -- he needs to lose weight as it is! Of course, neither of my girls lost weight from one appt to the next, so not sure how that might factor in.

ETA: what the heck, no idea why e n f a g r o w was deleted???? weird.

[bubbaray]

Hmmmm, I'm not sure that formula has less fat than whole milk. Can you ask for a referral to a pediatric nutritionist? If that was the dr's worry, why not up the fat content of the formula? For example, our nutritionist suggested I add canola oil to rice milk while we were waiting for DD#2's allergist appointment for the go ahead on dairy. I never did that, but it was suggested.

I don't know if I'd cut out the cheerios completely. Look for some with more iron, more nutrients, maybe organic and use them more as a reward? Also, you could try other dry cereals in other shapes too -- for example, we've had success with Shreddies (different from Shredded Wheat). IIRC they are called something different in the US:
http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/Produc.../Shreddies.htm

You could try putting dry cereal on her tray with some other foods and see if she'll try new things if the familiar things are there.

FWIW, my DD#2 will not eat banana with her fingers. She will eat it mashed in cereal with yogurt (her morning meal -- baby cereal, 5% organic yogurt, applesauce, banana).

[bubbaray]

Oh, BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR DD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I think you deserve a big

[californiagirl]

DD is a great eater, but she wouldn't eat babyfood. She wouldn't eat anything she didn't pick up, for one thing, and she hated bland, for another.

DD wouldn't eat macaroni until she was almost 4; she'd eat beans only with hot sauce, peas only when frozen, and only some cheeses. So if it were my kid, at 1, I'd be trying a much wider variety of things. Different textures (more extreme textures), different tastes. DD wouldn't eat babyfood carrots, but she would eat curried carrot soup mixed with rice cereal until she could scoop it up with her hands.

Will she dip cheerios in something?