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  1. #1
    BeachBum is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Default Bed Rest--How did logistics work for you?

    So I start preemtive bedrest Nov1 for my twins. I have a great husband who already does a lot at home....but he doesn't do it all. For example, he has never planned a dinner menu and I'm not sure he has grocery shopped, or wal mart shopped since we've been married. I couldn't imagine doing everything without him....and I know he is feeling nervous about doing it all without me.

    That said, he is quite capable of cooking from a recipe and buying things on a list. But he just has never ever had to do these things with a 3 yr old to supervise too.
    We own a small business, where DH works full time. Fortunately November is a slow month for us and DH plans to be home between 3:30-4 each day.
    My DS is in pre-school until 12. So I will have him with me (hopefully napping a good bit of that time) until DH gets home.

    If this arrangement doesn't work then we will find a part time nanny/ pay friends or call on family to fill in the gaps.

    I guess what I want to know is how did bed rest work in your family? What do I need to think about that I probably haven't.

    Then on a totally different note.....how hard was it on you mentally?

  2. #2
    fivi2 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I think a lot will depend on why you are on bedrest and how active you are allowed to be... ?

    I would try to get the freezer stocked with things that are easy to reheat. Draw up some meal plans now and some simple recipes. Shop ahead for the things that will keep. Your 3 yo may end up watching some tv while dh cooks, or go ahead and stock up on some new books, puzzles, toys to pull out when dc is crazy. You might want to start phasing dh in slowly - have him be in charge of some of it now while you are still able to help out. And try to get your 3 yo used to being more independent now.

    I was on hospital bedrest for 10 days because my water broke but I didn't go into labor. I was not allowed to do anything but use the restroom. That was really hard on me mentally and physically - and it was only 10 days! I watched a lot of tv, read, did crosswords and other puzzle type things. But I didn't have any other dc to worry about. I am sure everything will go well for you - it is good you are planning ahead!

  3. #3
    WatchingThemGrow is online now Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Not a multiple mom here, but I did visit a friend who was on bedrest for what seemed to be a loooong time with her 1st. She sent out an email asking for help from friends - like a visiting schedule. People brought food also when they visited if they wanted.

    If you have a good support system to draw from (hers was our church), a CareCalendar would be wonderful to set up so people could know what your needs are - like meals, care for DS, rides to/from preschool, playdates, etc. I think people would generally be willing to help if they can see what specific things you need help with.

    Also...a really cool idea on her part...they put the glider from the nursery in her bedroom so visitors were comfy and could just come sit and chat with her for an hour or so.

  4. #4
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    I was put on bed rest at home at 31 weeks and then in the hospital at 35 weeks, delivered at 36 weeks. The biggest challenge for me was not being able to go anywhere, while my husband, mom, MIL, anyone who came to visit was free to come and go as they pleased. What I found helped was moving from room to room, just to change the view. The reason for my bed rest was pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure mostly. One advantage was that due to the pre-eclampsia, I had 3 dr. appointments a week and those became my "exciting" outings, the only time I got outside. I read a lot, watched TV, movies and joined this message board! I completely understand!

    We survived with meals made by our mothers because DH isn't into helping in the kitchen much. Forgot to mention that!
    Heather ~

    Connor and Addi (8/08)

  5. #5
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I kind of put myself on modified bedrest the last 2 months. My multiples pregnancy was my third pregnancy and was very hard for me. We got a nanny to help with my 2 and 4 year olds about 2 months before I gave birth. We knew we'd need someone to take care of the kids while I was in the hospital (DH is very busy with his business and we have no family nearby) so we decided to get the nanny early so the boys could get used to her while I was there and so I could get some rest. It worked out really well. If my 4yo hadn't been in a special Speech therapy/preschool class, I probably could have managed without the nanny (of course, the boys would have spent all day, everyday in the house in their pajamas driving me crazy but what's a couple of months ). But getting him ready for the bus and walking out to the bus stop everyday with a 2yo in tow would have been nearly impossible toward the end of my pregnancy.

    So, I really worked hard to organize my house in the morning and spent most of the afternoon napping or reclined. Dinners were usually some frozen Stouffer's meal with a bagged salad or some of those frozen stir fry meals. Either DH or I made those and they got us through for a long time. We also accepted meals made by friends. That was a big help! It also helped that i used an online grocery delivery service. I ordered the groceries online and they were delivered. DH usually put them away. But I could have sent DH to the grocery store with a list had we not had the delivery option available to us.

    I think the 2 biggest things you can do to prepare for being on bedrest is to 1)get your house organized so that you can tell DH, or friends where to find things so you don't have to get up and look for them and 2) learn to accept that things will not be done as you like and that's ok. Now is not a time to be proud. Anytime someone asks how they can help, tell them you would love them to make you a meal or pick up a prescription for you or just fold clothes for you.

    hth and gl to you!
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  6. #6
    BeachBum is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    I'm sorry that I was so rude and didn't respond to your comments. I really hate it when people do that and I'm sorry that I'm now one of them!

    Bed rest started for me this week and I feel like I am going crazy. Since I am not actually having a problem (bed rest is pre-emptive for me) it is really hard to scale back. While DS is at school I am making myself stay in bed on my left side like my Dr says. After that, I try to sit down/ lounge on the sofa most of the time. I'm still cooking a little, but more because I enjoy it than anything.

    DH is handling things pretty well...but it is hard on both of us. I wish I would have done a better job of organizing the house and cooking ahead. But we had been doing some home remodeling that just didn't allow those things to happen.

    thanks again for your thoughts.

  7. #7
    gatorsmom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeachBum
    I'm sorry that I was so rude and didn't respond to your comments. I really hate it when people do that and I'm sorry that I'm now one of them!

    Bed rest started for me this week and I feel like I am going crazy. Since I am not actually having a problem (bed rest is pre-emptive for me) it is really hard to scale back. While DS is at school I am making myself stay in bed on my left side like my Dr says. After that, I try to sit down/ lounge on the sofa most of the time. I'm still cooking a little, but more because I enjoy it than anything.

    DH is handling things pretty well...but it is hard on both of us. I wish I would have done a better job of organizing the house and cooking ahead. But we had been doing some home remodeling that just didn't allow those things to happen.

    thanks again for your thoughts.
    I seldom reply to threads I've started because I wasn't sure it was necessary. I didn't think you were rude at all.

    Looking back at my pregnancy, I was so hormonal at the point where you are now. I was really hard on myself about what I did and didn't get done. Honestly, you have even more time to think about what you didn't get done because you are immobile. Try to get as much rest as possible and remember that this is just a small point in time. A year from now you will barely remember this time of you life.

    Oh, and again, don't be so hard on yourself. And just give your DH a lot of praise. Seriously, families with twins are running a race of their own. I was such a perfectionist before and find myself laughing all the time now about how different our lives are now. We just muddle through the best we can and thank God for our daily lessons in humility! LOL. hth.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

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