Catholic school for non-Catholic kids?

[wellyes]

Does anyone here have kids in Catholic school who are not Catholic? My husband and I are both atheists who do not intend to raise our daughter with any religious beliefs. But I'm kind of digging the local Catholic school.
-- It's grades 7-12, which is coincidentally the same grades that aren't that great in the local public school (the elementary school is fantastic).
--It's a girl's school, and I would love for my DD to go to a single-sex institution for those formative years. I went to a women's college and it was a profoundly good experience for me.
-- Most of my cousins have gone to parochial school and my impression is that the schools have a high academic standard. Somehow in my mind parochial school = benefits of private school but less expensive.
-- They wear uniforms. I think that can be really freeing for pre-teen and teens, personally (I know many others disagree).

I know you don't have to be Catholic to go to Catholic school. I just wouldn't want her to be indoctrinated, or to feel left out. Just wondering what others' experiences have been.

My DD is still a baby, but this is on my mind because we're thinking of moving in the next few years due to schools. My neighborhood has a reputation for couples moving here to start a family, but moving out right before the kids hit school age due to perceived poor public middle- and high-schools. (I'm in Massachusetts outside of Boston, the schools seem to be pretty high-achieving to me, just not up to par in this hypercompetative environment).

Anyway, just wondering what others' experiences have been. Thanks!

[SnuggleBuggles]

My brother and SIL have this feeling that it is better to wait till those sorts of ages to send your child to a religious school if you don't practice that religion (or any religion) because the child will have had more time to think about the role of religion in their life. My family felt that they won't feel pressured to be involved in activities that they don't fell comfortable with. As a younger child they may have a harder time understanding the differences between what is being taught at home vs at school. My nephew went to a Catholic h.s. after attending an independent private school k-8. They chose it for cost and b/c of the academics and extracurriculars offered. DN did seem to not feel pressured by the religious aspect and just took religion classes and mass as a cultural learning experience.

Beth

[Ceepa]

I'm interested in this thread because my non-Catholic SIL sent her kids to a Catholic school for some of the reasons given and it bothered me. I never really sat down and figured out why it did I just felt something was disingenous about it. I'm Catholic, BTW. Maybe because her opinion was 'it's a great school, we just overlook the fact that it has a Catholic foundation.' As if the religious nature of the school was something she wouldn't have sought out, but could be acceptably tolerated because the quality of the curriculum. I'm not saying OP has the same opinion, though I thought some of her language was interesting like not wanting a child to be "indoctrinated." And

Somehow in my mind parochial school = benefits of private school but less expensive.

and

My husband and I are both atheists who do not intend to raise our daughter with any religious beliefs. But I'm kind of digging the local Catholic school.

Parents should try to find the best quality education for their kids (especially if the public schools are terrible), there's just something that rubs me wrong about it personally.

[wellyes]

Hey, Ceepa, that's totally fair.

FWIW I have been baptized and confirmed, and my dad is very active in the lay ministry of his diocese (cantor & asst. funeral director). Although I'm no longer part of the church, I wouldn't consider sending my daughter to a Catholic school unless I had respect for the people & the faith, and wanted to raise her to feel the same way. But it is respect from an outsider's perspective. What I don't want is for her to be forced to study religion, except academically.

And your perspective is exactly what I'm asking about....not only would it be a good experience for her, but would it be appropriate?

[Ceepa]

I hope you are able to get the information you need to make the best choice possible for your family.

[LarsMal]

I taught in Catholic schools for five years before having kids. I had children in my classes who were not Catholic. The rule was that the children had to participate in religion classes, just like everyone else. They also had to attend Mass with us. Besides, that, though, there were no "requirements" of the non-Catholic students. They weren't forced to make sacraments or anything like that. Parents knew, understood, and respected this when they chose to send their to Catholic school. I guess if you are in that position, and weren't planning on "un-doing" everything your DD was taught, then it wouldn't be a problem. I think it's perfectly healthy to question religion, but I could see it becoming a problem if a student in the class questioned everything they were being taught, because it wasn't their belief at home- KWIM?

I'm sure schools vary, but in my experience, the students weren't responsible or required to do much outside of the classroom/curriculum. They had options- activities and such- but no requirements.

I am currently not a practicing Catholic- my experience working in Catholic schools ruined it for me!- and my husband is agnostic. I highly doubt we would consider sending our kids to Catholic school.

[kijip]

As someone that was raised Catholic and until recently attended the Catholic church, I don't think I would be willing to mix religion in with my child's education unless I was quite sure I was ok with the religious teachings of the school. I would send my children to a Catholic school before a Protestant denominated school I guess. And of the Catholic schools in town, there are a few I would not consider at all. Some for academic reasons (not all parochial schools are great academically- look carefully!) and a couple for religious community reasons...the parishes they are attached too are not ones I would join and if I would not join the parish, I would not send my child to be educated by them. There are a number of schools we would consider that are Catholic here and had he not been placed in one of our three public school selections, he'd be in a navy and white uniform now at the school affiliated with the parish we attended. As it turns out, our best option appears to be a public school moving forwards. The private schools here that offer the accelerated program that he would appear to benefit from are not religious.

As someone from a Catholic background, I have no issues with non-Catholics attending the schools, provided the parish families are all being served if they wish to send their children. I believe that for at least 1 of the big Catholic high schools here, most of the students are not from Catholic families. Most Catholic schools I am aware of teach religion classes, not limited to just religious instruction. I tend to see more tolerance than anything else being taught WRT religion at Catholic schools.

[gatorsmom]

DH and I are devout Catholic and I attended catholic schools all the way through college so I guess I"m not exactly objective, LOL. My parents sent my brother to a public school because they they didn't like a particular teacher and had a disagreement with the school board about it. He did well at public school.

To answer some of your questions from my perspective, YES, it was a huge relief wearing a uniform and not having to compete with clothes everyday. Of course there were still girls wearing the most expensive shoes, but one thing we all agreed on collectively at the time is we hated the uniform! LOL. But now I look back and am thankful for it. There were some friends at the time who received scholarships to attend our high school and probably would have been treated differently because of their clothes if they'd had to compete in that department.

As for the religious aspect of it, I was taught about Christ, the history of the Catholic church, the theory of creation that the bible teaches as well as Darwin's theory. I'm still close to many of my friends from elementary as well as high school. Many, many of us have taken different paths. Some are no longer Catholic, some are practicing a different Christian denomination, some are devout like me. I would say that none of us have felt indoctrinated or taught subjects differently than children of non-Catholic schools. I felt like I was given facts and dates and left to decide on my own. I have met people since I graduated who attended schools of different religious denominations who I couldn't say this of. I guess my point is that of all the religious schools your children could attend, I feel that Catholic schools are the least likely to incorporated their beliefs into subjects other than theology. Others may argue having had a different experience. But even with us being Catholic, i would NOT want my children to be taught incorrect or questionable material whose purpose is to convert them to our religion. As far as I'm concerned, they need to be taught the most modern, factual information as possible with the purpose of preparing them for any college they are interested in attending. The theological portion is a different topic all it's own.

It looks like I"m going to have to cut this short, but if you are really interested, you may want to speak to someone at the school you are interested in and find out what percentage of students are actually Catholic attending there. I know that at the Catholic high school we'd like to send our children to the percentage of students who consider themselves Catholic is only 40%.

gotta go. hth!

ETA: Now that DH got the boys out of the house I reread my post. It sounds kind of presumptuous about all religious-based schools and frankly not very well worded. I guess my point is that since I graduated from school I've discussed this same topic with a lot with many people of different backgrounds and faiths. I've never heard it said that Catholic school curriculums are created in any way to sway someone to the Catholic faith. I have heard that said about schools of other denominations. I guess I"m defending Catholic schools (not from any posters here) but I honestly wouldn't have posted if I didn't feel this were true. But of course, every school is different and should be considered on its own merits.

[KBecks]

I was brought up non religious and went to Catholic school for the 6th grade only. It was fine, but there is no question that I felt different because I was not Catholic. We attended a weekly Mass and so I did not receive communion, and I didn't know the prayers.

We had religion class but I don't remember that much of it. I remember having a friend teach me the Our Father because I just didn't know it and felt kind of dumb that my parents had not taught me. All in all it was not that big of a deal, but I was obviously different in that I was not Catholic. Our community was very homogenous and Catholicism was the dominant religion.

The school experience was fine. I had some friends, but I did have some of the new kid to school hard time of finding what girls to play with.

My parents decided it wasn't worth it and so I went to 7th and 8th and high school at public school. For them 6th seemed to be the trial year of whether I would go public or private for the remainder of my education. I don't know exactly why they decided to experiment with Catholic school, but perhaps it was similar to your feelings about liking an all-girls high school as the ending of the private school path. In reality, it was good for me to go to public school, the private girls' high school would have been a longer commute.

ETA: Ironically I ended up becoming Catholic in my late 20's but it had absolutely NOTHING to do with my one year of Catholic education when I was 12.

A girlfriend has her two kids at our suburban Catholic school and she says she feels a division between the Catholic families and the "rich families" who are seeking the private education. I know she feels frustrated by it, but I'm not sure exactly what has caused that for her.

For our kids education, I'm not particularly sold on Catholic schools because they are Catholic. Our oldest is going to a private Montessori preschool and we plan to have him there through Kindergarten. Then we will step back and look at ALL the schools (public, Montessori, private Lutheran and private Catholic) and see what feels like the best fit. Rinse and repeat for high school. Options of public high school or several private high schools.

[ellies mom]

We are seriously considering sending our girls to Catholic schools. DH was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school for several years although he is not practicing now. I'm not Catholic but was raised around it so I'm fairly comfortable with the idea. Plus we would be exposing our daughters to both denominations at some point anyways.

Personally, I prefer public schools but will do what it takes to ensure my daughters get a quality education.