Catholic school for non-Catholic kids?

[heatherlynn]

This thread is good timing for me! We're looking into Kindergarten for DS for next year and we're probably going to send him to Catholic school, for a few reasons.

1. DH & the kids are catholic. My grandma is a devout Catholic, and my mom was raised Catholic, but converted to Presbyterian when she married my dad (I'm presbyterian).

2. DH went to Catholic school, and is very religious, in the best way (imo). He's very forgiving, kind, generous. He's also very knowledgeable about religion, Catholicism obviously, but Islam and Judeism as well.

3. The public schools here are whacked out, imo. K (and sometmes 1st) go to one school. 1-4 go to another, 5-6, 7-8, then high school, all different. Too many transitions. The Catholic schools are K-8. I'm not happy with all the transitions my older DD has gone (will go) through.

I don't mean this to come across snarky, so I really hope it doesn't. But it seems strange to me to attend a Catholic school when you're not Catholic. Again, I hope that doesn't come across the wrong way. I'm just sort of puzzled by it.

[lmwbasye]

Hmm...well I will just say that I was raised Catholic and attended a Catholic school from K - 8. We had 3 (of 12 students in the class) kids that were non-Catholic. It was never an issue, at least from a peer standpoint (they were a part of the 12 as much as the others).

I will add that because (at least I believe) of my Catholic schooling, I am no longer a practicing Catholic. The fact that it was a subject, complete with quizzes, tests, etc. took all the religious aspect out of it for me, I guess. I am a practicing Lutheran now for various reasons.

FWIW...my sister and brother also attended the same school and still attend Catholic church.

[almostmom]

This is just one story, but I feel I have to share it, as I recently learned about it. Just to add to your volume of information:

A coworker of mine sent her son to a local private Catholic High School (in Massachusetts). She is Catholic, her husband is Jewish, and their kids have been both baptized/confirmed (I believe these are the right terms!) and bar mitvahed. They sent him there because of some of the programs offered, which were of strong interest to him, and not offered at his public high. Unfortunately, her son was a victim of anti-semitism (by other students) at the school for two years, and the school was not responsive. He is now at the public school in their town. This was obviously very traumatic to the whole family.

I am in no way saying that this is the norm! I'm sure it is not. But it did happen, and I thought I should share. For me, personally, I would be cautious about choosing to put my child in a situation where they were inherently different. Teen years are hard enough! And in this case, the boy was raised with Catholic values as part of his religious upbringing.

Personally, I am Jewish, but pretty much an atheist. I feel uncomfortable sending my kids to a place where they will be learning about religious doctrine at a young age, because in my opinion, as someone who doesn't believe, I feel like any sort of teaching about a higher power is indoctrination. At an older age, I do think it is different, though it is hard for me to know as my own kids are still young, and they are my blackboard for how kids grow and learn. On the other hand, I love learning and reading about religion and spiritual practices. But I would be wary of sending my child to a place, a school no less, where they inherently didn't fit in on such a basic level. I guess I would find out how many non-Catholics go to the school. Where I grew up in western MA, there was a parochial Catholic school in the city next to us. I never really thought of it as religious (though it might have been more than I knew), and we always played against them in sports. My guess is that there were many kids there who weren't Catholic, but I don't know.

Anyway, that's a lot of babble, but just wanted to add my two cents.

[Fairy]

Alot of it depends on where you live. In the city of Chicago proper, there are alot of kids of different faiths at Catholic schools, because they're among the best, and few people actually send their kids to the "district" school they're in. Chicago is the epitome of diverse. There are alot of neighborhoods of just Poles and just Mexicans and just Jews, sure. But few people in Chicago don't know anything about the other cultures that live there. So, in the Catholic schools, there's diversity and an understanding that not everyone there is there for the religious offering. Of course, it absolutely depends on the school. But from a tolerance perspective, I think you have to take the area you live in into account. As a Jew, I'd be totally fine sending my DS to Catholic school. However, we live in the burbs and are interfaith, so we're fine in the public school.

[JenaW]

You may also want to look into how "Catholic" the school actually is, as they can vary greatly (i.e. a pp example of a local Catholic school with the "most liberal sex ed program"). We are strongly devout, practicing Catholics and my oldest goes to a very conservative Catholic school (with nuns still teaching some of the classes!). While I am fairly certain there ARE non-Catholics attending, I am not sure why someone who does not share the Catholic faith would want their child surrounded by it. That said, I think the school (and most Catholic schools in general) do a good job of teaching tolerance of other religions, which as other posters have pointed out, not all Christian schools do (many Christian faiths are anti-Catholic, for example). I also think Catholic schools do a great job of teaching respect (for oneself, life, authority, elders, etc). We chose to go outside the public district and outside the diocese for this school specifically because it is so conservative and in line with our views. At the Catholic school where my children attended pre-school last year, one could hardly tell it was Catholic. When my DD asked why they were not making the sign of the Cross before saying Grace, she was told they did not do that at school. The teacher later explained to me that she did not want to offend the large number of non-Catholic Christians attending. Um, hello, it IS a Catholic school. If they are offended by Catholic practices, perhaps they should consider another school! I certainly do not expect all Christians (or ANY persons for that matter) to practice their faith the way I do mine, but if you are sending your children to a Catholic school than I do not think you should get offended if they are learning Catholic practices! My son's entire day (he is currently in Kindergarten) is filled with references to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Blessed Mother, etc. This is not just limited to "religion class." In the older grades this may differ, as I can not see too many religious references during Calculus! I am not trying to discourage you in any way. I am very proud of my Catholic education, which is why I have gone to such great lengths to ensure that my children get one too. I am honored that so many people think so highly of Catholic schools in general, and pleased by their reputation. I just want to point out that (as with ANY school) I am sure there are variations, and you just want to be aware of what you are signing (your child) up for.

~J

[C99]

She will be indoctrinated and she will probably feel left out. JMO based on my own experience. I was raised Episcopalian by two ex-Roman Catholics. We lived 1/2 block from the Roman Catholic church in our town and although I attended public school, I always felt left out because my friends went to CCD and did other church-related things. It seemed liked I was the only one not going to that stuff.

DS1 went to Roman Catholic Montessori preschool last year and came home talking about Jesus, God, the cross, the priests. Oh -- and my favorite: how he had to save the babies (abortion). I was NOT happy. Granted, a 12-year-old is less impressionable than a 5-year-old, but it left a bad, bad taste in my mouth.

[kijip]

You may also want to look into how "Catholic" the school actually is, as they can vary greatly

I am not quite sure I understand how one Catholic school can be considered more or less so than others? They are all run by one church/archdiocese or another. I have academic and other issues with certain parochial schools around here that would make the school an inappropriate pick for my family but I don't think any one of them is more or less Catholic than any other.

[sste]

I know this isn't what you are asking about but I would look at the school's endowment and how much they pay their teachers. I have had friends/relatives who have attended top-rate Catholic schools - - however, I think that there are many, many Catholic schools out there that are so seriously underfunded that it compromises the academics. Private school is not automatically better than public school - - it is really location specific and buyer beware. My sister is an elementary school teacher who was offered HALF of the salary that she currently makes at a public school to teach at a Catholic school. She literally could not have afforded to live without welfare assistance on that salary. If she had taken that job it would only have been for a year or so to get experience and move on. I am not trying to knock the goal of Catholic education - - its just that without tax support and given the relatively low tuition, its hard for many of these schools to hire great teachers and retain them.

[gatorsmom]

I am not quite sure I understand how one Catholic school can be considered more or less so than others? They are all run by one church/archdiocese or another. I have academic and other issues with certain parochial schools around here that would make the school an inappropriate pick for my family but I don't think any one of them is more or less Catholic than any other.

One Catholic school can be more observant of Catholic practices than another, absolutely. Just as there are HUGE differences between parishes. My parish is extremely liberal- they do not touch the "hot button" topics for fear of insulting anyone who doesn't agree with the tenants of the church. For example they do not discuss encyclicals preaching contraception, they do not discuss embryonic stem cell research, no emphasizing that women should not be priests, etc., for fear of upsetting someone who doesn't agree. OTOH, a parish about 30 miles from here has two of the best known Catholic Theologians in the US. They are very often holding well-attended seminars about some of the most conservative tenants of the church. This is a very different atmosphere from our parish's.

My boys have only been going to preschool at our parish's school since September but already I see some differences from the Catholic school I attended. The school I attended started teaching us prayers for memorization at a very early age. My sons are being taught "fun" prayers (instead of the traditional "Bless us, O Lord, for these thy gifts..." they are taught, "Thank you, Lord for the food in our tummy that tastes so yummy. Amen." This is different from the Catholic school my friend's daughter attends 15 miles from here too. So, yeah, some Catholic schools can be more devout and incorporate more of the Catholic tradition in their everyday activities. I guess you could say they are more "Catholic" in that sense and less secular.

[kijip]

So, yeah, some Catholic schools can be more devout and incorporate more of the Catholic tradition in their everyday activities. I guess you could say they are more "Catholic" in that sense and less secular.

I see what you are saying, but I think that being more devout is different than being more or less Catholic. We attended a Jesuit run church, the theology had some slight differences and the culture was a bit different, but it (and the attached school) is not more or less Catholic than any other in town, be it the most liberal or most conservative parish. FWIW, not all famous or highly regarded Catholic theologians are conservative theologians. Like any other denomination I think is is fair to say that Catholicism is not a homogenous group of people who all believe 100% exactly the same thing. Of course, you know that first hand from your background and parish membership.