Ferber method - Naps are HORRIBLE! Need help!

[Riley's mama]

Please help! DD has responded pretty well to Ferber method at nighttime, but it is NOT working during the day! She has not slept more than 10 minutes and she usually screams for almost a full 1/2 hour before that. I really don't want to continue to take her out after 10 minutes (like the book suggests, since the 1/2 hour window is therefore over), because I know she's not getting enough sleep!

Her nighttime sleep is from about 8 or 8:30 to 6:30 or 7am. We are trying to put her down for her first nap around 9:20.

I just don't know what to do! Should I just pick her up and try to make her play (we have been doing that and she is ridiculously cranky!) or continue the progressive waiting to see if she will go back to sleep?

This is absolutely awful. I will bear listening to her cry if it is what is best for her but I am just beginning to think I'm doing something wrong! Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Our DS wakes up around 6:30-7 and goes back down for his nap closer to 8:45. Could you try getting that first nap in earlier?

How old is she?

[wellyes]

I agree with the pp, try earlier for that first nap. Mine gets up 7:15 and has her 1st nap around 8:45.

And I'd wait longer to take her out, too --picking her up after 10 minutes is (IMO, based on my bad experience) is just reinforcing that crying works. We treated naps just like bedtime but with a one hour limit. The worst-ever nap on the 1sr day took almost the full hour. 3 days later, she's down in less than 5 minutes, It is HARD, but it works, she goes down quick and naps about 60 minutes each nap, and wakes up cheerful and rested.

[Riley's mama]

oh, I forgot to say - sorry about that! She is almost 5 months. We waited a little longer before putting her down because Ferber's book suggests that she would fall asleep easier if she's *really* tired. It seems like Weissbluth says the opposite. Have you had success with either? Does he cry a lot? How long have you been doing that?

[Riley's mama]

wellyes - how old is yours? How long does he/she sleep at night? We are on our 3rd day and she is definitely not getting any better with naps. Also, did or do you use a pacifier?

[WatchingThemGrow]

I liked Weissbluth for naps and a lot of stuff, but Ferber for the CIO stuff which you seem to already have under control (sleeping through the night).

We did use pacifiers for a brief 2-3 mo. period. Maybe about then, can't remember exactly when...

[ray7694]

Are you watching for sleep ques. I don't agree that really tired works. Watch for yawning, rubbing eyes, etc. As soon as you see first yawn wind down and put to sleep.

My dd goes down around 8:45 for the first nap and sleeps an hour then goes down from 1-3 for the second nap.

[Riley's mama]

She has been so fussy that it's hard to tell when she's tired! But maybe I will try to set her down right after she yawns or rubs her eyes. We have gotten rid of the pacifier at the same time that we are trying to teach her to sleep in the crib. I am so tempted to give her the pacifier during the day! Has anyone given theirs a pacifier during the day or is that pretty much an all or nothing thing?

And also, what do you do to wind down? We try reading stories but she just wiggles around (not looking at the book) and cries!

[wellyes]

Mine is 8 months. I think Ferber recommends waiting until 5.5-6 months before trying CIO. A few weeks won't make a huge difference, of course, but maybe if you put it off a bit it would go more smoothly. (I'm thinking of my struggles to get newborn DD to try side-lying nursing, before I figured out that she was just too little until she was 3 months old!)

She doesn't use a paci but she did at 5 months. I don't think pacifiers are terrible, but for Ferberizing, I know you're not supposed to give them anything at all when putting them down. Personally, I'd let the baby use a pacifier during the day, just not for naps/sleeping. One battle at a time...... the more consistency she has when NOT being Ferberized, the better for her sense of security and normalcy.

I think nighttime routines are absolutely critical to success! Here is what we do:
1. Take off clothes and give a little infant massage or itsy bitsy baby yoga
2. PJs
3. Face wash and wipe gums with finger toothbrush (she has 6 teeth already!)
4. Story. At first she didn't pay any attention, but persistence pays off, now she watches the pages turn and smacks anything interesting on the page with her hands.
5. Kiss and goodbye!

Her sleeping hours are roughly 8:30-7:30.

[slworld]

We have gotten rid of the pacifier at the same time that we are trying to teach her to sleep in the crib. I am so tempted to give her the pacifier during the day! Has anyone given theirs a pacifier during the day or is that pretty much an all or nothing thing?

Do you mean given a pacifer during naps vs nightime sleep? We still use a pacifier during naps. Sleep is the only time we have ever given DS a pacifier. He has just about figured out how to suck his thumb and he does that during the day sometimes (I am not very happy with that either since both my sis & DH's sis used to suck their thumbs way into their teenage years....but one battle at a time), but he gets clumsy when he is drowsy and keeps crying since he can't seem to quite get his thumb into his mouth. I am at a point where I just want him to nap on a routine and wakeup refreshed so I am using a pacifier if thats what will get him napping (even though the nap lasts only for maybe a half hour). But at night its no pacifier to fall asleep, maybe for a few minutes to calm him down sometimes but I remove it when he is still awake (when he wakes up during the night and if the fussing escalates to crying then I give it to him).