How do I get 4 month old to fall asleep on his own?

[Spicygirl]

I know this topic is addressed somewhere in this forum, but I am too stressed out to search for it :-( We have held/rocked/walked our 4 month old to sleep since he was a newborn. I never thought I would be able to have a baby, so when he arrived and was so precious, I always wanted to hold him. Now, of course, I wish he could go to sleep on his own, but I have no idea how to do get him to do it.

He does sleep about 7 hours at night, but getting him to sleep is the tricky part. Also, the only way he will nap during the day is if I hold him. The idea of CIO scares me, although I haven't researched it thoroughly yet. DS is ok for a little while when he wakes up, but his temperment is such that he doesn't just cry, but screams bloody murder if I don't pick him up soon enough, so I'm worried that CIO will be too traumatic for him, and possibly counterproductive. Any recommendations of books/videos etc to effectively deal with this? I REALLY need help!!!!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn't do CIO at this young age. I also don't think it is time to worry yet about bad habits. It's still the age where you should do what works.

I nursed both boys to sleep till they were about 8-9 months old and they both stopped falling asleep nursing. At that point we would put them in their cribs and they played themselves to sleep. Maybe I just had easy boys? I just know that with ds2 I just didn't stress about the sleep because I knew it would fall into place. By 6 months I really think you will see that so if you can hang in there it would be great.

Will he nap in a bouncy seat or swing? How about in the car and you can transfer in from there (put in the crib, not leave in the carseat)? Nurse/ bottle to sleep? Those are what we used for naps at that age.

GL!!!
Beth

[Spicygirl]

Unfortunately, he hates the swing, hates the car seat...

My biggest "challenge" (understatement!) is getting him to nap. I rock him to sleep and put him in his bassinet, and 10 minutes later he is up. Often it's sneezing that wakes him up. Although he will usually get himself back to sleep if he awakens during the night, maybe because it's much darker in the room or he's just more tired, he will never soothe himself back to sleep when napping. It's making me crazy, because I can never get anything done - not even open the mail - during the day. But what's even more of a concern is the thought that DS is not getting enough sleep. It seems like, according to all of the books I've read, that he should be sleeping about 14 hours per day, and he's getting nowhere near that much.

[SnuggleBuggles]

How about letting him sleep on his stomach for his nap? You'll be up if you are nervous about it so you can check on him. He's probably strong enough to be able to safely sleep that way but I know it is a personal comfort decision. Tummy sleeping really helped my ds2.

Beth

[firsttimemama]

I think 4 mo is way too young for CIO. But we're anti CIO in general. DS is 17 mo and I still parent him to sleep (rock, sing, nurse, whatever)

[pastrygirl]

I also didn't do CIO. It used to take an hour to put my son down for a nap and at bedtime -- nursing, rocking, shushing, etc. At 13 months, he started going down for a nap on his own. I don't remember when he started falling asleep on his own for bedtime, but it wasn't much later than that. Just wanted to share that you don't have to do CIO, and not doing CIO doesn't mean you'll automatically end up having to rock to sleep forever!

[Spicygirl]

The trouble is, even after I rock DS to sleep for a nap, if I put him in his bed he wakes up, sometimes after a few minutes, sometimes right away. Then I have to start all over again. It's making me lose a lot of sleep, and it's starting to make me lose my mind!!! BTW, I'm typing this with my left hand, while my right arm is breaking from holding a sleeping 16.5 lb. baby :-(

[neeleymartin]

i guess i am the minority here. we did cio with ds1 the day he turned 4mos. it took 3 nights but, he was great, and has been ever since.

also typing with right hand with 3wk old asleep in left. much lighter at less than 9 lbs.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That's why I suggested tummy sleeping. Sometimes that feeling of being nestled continues when you transition them from your arms onto their tummies. You could also give swaddling a go. We did that till about 5m.

Beth

[arivecchi]

i guess i am the minority here. we did cio with ds1 the day he turned 4mos. it took 3 nights but, he was great, and has been ever since.

also typing with right hand with 3wk old asleep in left. much lighter at less than 9 lbs.

Same here. I cannot wait for DS2 to turn 4 months so we can do CIO and sleep again!