How do I get 4 month old to fall asleep on his own?

[Spicygirl]

SnuggleBuggles, Re: sleeping on tummy, I would love to do that, because I think sleeping on his back is part of the reason he wakes up so easily. I'm just afraid to do it because the fear of SIDS has been drilled into me.

NeelyMartin and Ariveraz, what type of CIO did you use, Ferber, Weissbluth or Tracy Hogg (Baby Whisperer)? I'm confused as to which would be best, and I'm hesitant about it because I'm terrified of doing something wrong and traumatizing my baby.

[neeleymartin]

we used weissbluth. total extinction, i think it's called, newborn sleeping again, can't get my book. i recall he had varying degrees. we did the most hard core. i don't regret it for a second. huge fan.

just googled, this is what we did, exactly:
"The most common Weissbluth method is the "extinction" method where a child is allowed to cry it out indefinitely at bedtime and for an hour at nap time. Follow the regular bedtime routine with your child and put him to bed. Leave the room and don't go back in. At nap time, allow for up to one hour of crying. If the child is still crying after the hour, soothe the child and try again at a later time."

[arivecchi]

We did modified CIO. We put him in his crib sleepy but awake. We then let him cry for a couple of hours checking in on him every 10 minutes or so. Next night, we did the same thing checking on him every 20 minutes or so. Last night, every 30 minutes. You rub them and console them but do not pick them up or feed them. I think that is the Ferber method. He slept through on the 4th night and has been an awesome sleeper ever since. I do not regret it at all. It's hard to hear the crying at first, but then you sort of get used to it. All in all, we did everyone a favor. He got lots of sleep and rest after that and so did his very tired parents! However, I know it's not for everyone. Do it if you are comfortable with it. GL!

[hellokitty1]

I'm in a similar situation with my almost 3 mo old so hugs out to you bc i know how you feel. i'm not going to give you any advice on what "method" to use to change this since many others have chimed in and bc i don't yet know how i'm going to address it but i'll just say that i decided it was more important that my baby get enough sleep rather than how hegot to sleep. i ended up getting a $30 sling from Target and he loves it. i still try to get him to sleep in his crib after our "preparing to sleep" ritual in the mornongs but it only lasts 30-45 minutes too. and then when i just can't do it anymore, i sling him and he passes out pretty quickly. it's not my ideal but at least i know he's getting the sleep he needs so he won't get crankier as the day goes on. hth

[jellibeans]

I think that 4 months is too young for CIO. Have you tried things like pacifiers and swaddling? If you are into reading books, try "The Baby Whisperer."

[lorinick]

swaddling worked wonders for my ds2. He would nap during the day unless I was holding him. I was also concerned he wasn't getting enough sleep but our doctor was not. At around 4 month is when he started to take two naps and it was wonderful. I did nurse him and put him down. He would be very tired and out of it but not fully asleep. Hang in there you'll be able to put him down and open your mail soon.

[aggie202]

i did CIO with both of my kids (now 5 and 3) in and around 4-5 months and i have to say that they are fantastic sleepers. i'm currently re-reading my well-worn weissbluth book in preparation for the same with my almost 4-month old. i did extinction with the other 2 but i might try the partial extinction (or whatever it's called) with #3--don't know why. she's my last so maybe i'm getting soft ; ) seriously, though, you're teaching them a life skill and it's totally worth it but if you're heart isn't in it, do what works for you. good luck--i feel your pain!!!

[Sweetum]

My DS too is 4m old and has trouble falling asleep and staying asleep during the day. My mom takes care of him during the day and with her back issues she can't hold him all the time. So, she puts him in the swing, covers him well (not necessarily warmly), lightly pats him, rocks the swing a bit, or lets the swing do its swinging, and that works for her. I usually put him to sleep for the night, and I've stopped rocking him - I simply take him to his/our room, darken the room with just a night light on, we both lie down side by side on the family bed, and I gently pat him, or simply lay my hand on him while softly singing/humming his favorite lullaby. He fidgets a lot during that time, trying to fall asleep and eventually does. I can't be impatient at that time. I'm against pacifiers, but my mom says that a lot of times sucking helps them get into the mood. If you're ok with pacifiers, you might want to try that too. Also, there are times when he's just a wee bit hungry and can't get to sleep because of that - I offer him some milk then and he falls asleep halfway - I'm not crazy about this method, but that's what he needs at that time. About keeping him asleep - he normally has one 2-3 hour nap during the day, sleeps for 8 hours straight during the night, so I'm not overly concerned about him taking longer naps otherwise. But I know that he sleeps restfully when there's less light, no distractions (people talking, tv talking etc) around him. Hope my experiences give you some ideas.

[AngelaS]

It was at that age, or a bit before, when mine started learning to fall asleep on their own. When they started getting sleepy, I would start the rock and pat routine and get them to sleep. Then I'd lay them down. Over the course of a week, I'd rock and pat a little less each day so that eventually I was laying them down before they were fully asleep. Since every day the going to sleep routine was the same, they quickly caught on that it was time to sleep when we reached the crib and there was very little fussing.

[kellyd]

DS at nearly 1 still doesn't fall asleep on his own... so I'm no help there...

BUT, he napped like your LO does, 10 minutes out of my arms... hours in them (good for days I was too tired to move bad for days I NEEDED to get things done) The cure to naps, was sleeping on his tummy. I had to come to the decision that DH and I both slept on our bellies... and were fine. I feel you with the fear of SIDS, I was scared to death when I did it. I think the first few naps I grabbed a book and read laying on my bed next to the bassinet until he woke that way I NEW he was still breathing. Our DS has really bad reflux... so sleeping on his back caused him unbeliveable misery... on his belly was much much better.

Good Luck to you, I really hope you find something that works for you, becuase I know how crazy it can make you!