Disciplining Twins (help!) )

[Melaine]

So are we saying that there is no hope?

[fivi2]

So are we saying that there is no hope?

Was I telling pp there is no hope? I guess I just meant that at 10 months I don't think you can stop something like hair pulling.

OR do you mean is there no hope for any of us?


I wish I knew. But one of us is going to make big bucks when we figure out the secret!

And if things are bad now, what happens when one gets invited to a party or date that the other one doesn't? Or gets into a better school? Ugh! How do people deal with same age children, especially kiddos that look so much alike! (I am sure fraternal twins have different challenges, I am just not familiar with those!)

I also worry that I am not letting them be independent. They are ALWAYS together. sigh.

[Naranjadia]

Oh, I don't know how I missed this thread!

We've been using -1-2-3 Magic as our general disciplining model, but there are plenty of twin "factors" it doesn't really account for - like the way they egg each other on, etc.

We also have the competition re: potty training, getting somewhere first, carrying dinner to the table, etc. It's difficult, because I don't want to make "everyone a winner" but I also don't want everything to be some high stake contest.

DD also grabs things from DS in order to get him to engage with her. She's done this since they were 10 months. I thought she'd outgrow it. Whatever he has, even if identical to hers, is the one she wants.

[twowhat?]

And I thought it was supposed to get easier as they got older!!! Yikes!

[Melaine]

OR do you mean is there no hope for any of us?

Just that no experienced twin mommy jumped in to give us the magical answer. I'm so disappointed!

[fivi2]

And I thought it was supposed to get easier as they got older!!! Yikes!

HAHAHAHA!

In some ways it does get easier... Honestly, nothing is as bad as those first few months of absolutely no sleep. But the challenges change. It usually comes gradually, though. Once they start crawling, you start to realize how much life will change when they become mobile. So even though it is way worse once they are walking/running, you have some preparation, iykwim.

When they were younger, the big thing for me was controlling the environment. I couldn't possibly stop both of them from doing certain things, so those things were off limits. I didn't try to discipline it out of them, I just removed the temptation. (where I could, obviously some things I couldn't) I had tons of gates in my house and several areas were off limits (in my tiny house).

But now... sigh. They have more freedom, which is nice, but does lead to more issues.

The best thing, though, is that they entertain each other A LOT. I can sneak away and get some stuff done. That part makes me wonder if I could handle having to entertain a singleton all the time, like many of my friends do.

But, I do worry that I am creating this co-dependent, super competitive monster ( ) that won't be able to function in the real world!

[Naranjadia]

And I thought it was supposed to get easier as they got older!!! Yikes!

I have to agree with fivi2 - it does get easier in many ways.

I loved the period when they switched from parallel play to actually playing with each other. It's amazing and there are so many moments when I come across them happily playing together.

Also, despite their fighting over toys, I have noticed that they are more practiced at sharing than some of their friends without siblings near their age. Whenever another toddler throws a tantrum over not wanting to share a toy, they look at me like "What is going on?!?!" They share well with guests - I think they don't always share with each other more as a way to needle each other.

Another thing that I think is great for twins is that they learn that they don't always get what they want - in terms of which DVD to watch or book to read first. Not that they won't throw fits, but they have to deal with it every day which maybe makes it less of a big deal.

But there are just those discipline situations unique to twins that never seem to be addressed...

[twowhat?]

You know, as long as it never gets as hard as it was the first 3-4 months, I can handle it We compare EVERYTHING to the first 40 hours, and the first 3-4 months. It is easy as pie compared to those times and sometimes I just love the looks on people's faces when I go grocery shopping with car seats on top of both sections of the cart.

I am totally looking forward to getting past just parallel play (or should I call it parallel fighting?) But that's a couple years away. At least