Should I switch from underwear to pullups?

[DrSally]

So, this is the full 2nd week of pting and DS is doing great with no pee accidents (day or night). He'd been practicing while in diapers for quite awhile and going pee much of the time and poop about 10% of the time on the potty. When we finally decided to do underwear (he's 3.5 now), I wanted to just do it, no turning back. Great, but I've been cleaning up poopy underwear every day now for 2 weeks, sometimes as many as 5 per day (he doesn't have diarrhea, just lets a little out at a time). He has gone poopy on the potty before, but usually right before he feels the need and we have to run to the potty, so it's not like he's done it on demand. I am getting sick of this and not being able to go anywhere for fear of a poopy accident. Should I put him in pullups and have him still go pee on the potty and continue to work on the poop? Or, would this be a step back? I really wanted to avoid the pull-ups, but I can't take washing out full toddler poops from underwear all the time. I don't think he's gone poop on the potty other than the first day in underwear. Don't know what the problem is. I ask if he can feel when it's coming and he says "no", but also that he was doing such and such (making me believe he was too busy). Also, he complains that sitting on the potty and waiting for #2 takes too long. Rewards don't seem to motivate him with this part of potty training and I feel myself losing patience, DH is already there and he's only home on weekends.

[elephantmeg]

I did. It was really the only thing that saved my sanity. We've been doing this forever and he is just now pooping on the potty and pooping once a day and not being totally freaked about it so I think-hope-pray we'll be in undies all the time soon!

[DrSally]

I did. It was really the only thing that saved my sanity. We've been doing this forever and he is just now pooping on the potty and pooping once a day and not being totally freaked about it so I think-hope-pray we'll be in undies all the time soon!

Oh boy, our boys are basically the same age. I'm wondering if it's just too early for him to be doing #2 on the potty by himself b/c it is not working. So, when you switched to pullups, did he continue going pee on the potty, or did he use it like a dipe and like it was a licence to go since he was wearing essentially a diaper?

[KrisM]

Do you give him bribes for poop on the potty? DS had marshmallows for breakfast for 4 days when he pooped on the potty .

Otherwise, I'd probably switch him back and keep working on it.

[DrSally]

Do you give him bribes for poop on the potty? DS had marshmallows for breakfast for 4 days when he pooped on the potty .

Otherwise, I'd probably switch him back and keep working on it.

YEs! Everytime he poops on the potty, he gets a special prize (last time was actually a crane for his train table that I had gotten anyway on sale). I have a stash of cool things to offer. He also gets a prize if he's stayed dry all day, meaning no poop or pee in his underwear (only happened the very first day in underwear).

Is this part of the normal developmental sequence? I know it takes longer to learn to poop on the potty, but if he can only go on the potty if we catch it right before it happens, then it doesn't seem the signals are "clicking".

He's actually never been in pull-ups, just diapers then underwear. We helped him take the dipe off to go pee (or poop) before we switched to Uwear.

[KrisM]

YEs! Everytime he poops on the potty, he gets a special prize (last time was actually a crane for his train table that I had gotten anyway on sale). I have a stash of cool things to offer. He also gets a prize if he's stayed dry all day, meaning no poop or pee in his underwear (only happened the very first day in underwear).

Is this part of the normal developmental sequence? I know it takes longer to learn to poop on the potty, but if he can only go on the potty if we catch it right before it happens, then it doesn't seem the signals are "clicking".

He's actually never been in pull-ups, just diapers then underwear. We helped him take the dipe off to go pee (or poop) before we switched to Uwear.

Hmm. Has he received any prizes? I also took things that he had won away! Bad mommy, I know. But, he did great, got what he wanted and then did terrible, so I reclaimed the items .

Both my kids got the poop thing within a few days of being in underwear with prizes.

Can you put potties in other rooms to make the run for it shorter?

[DrSally]

Yes, he was receiving prizes while still in dipes and would go poopy on the potty. He got a prize the first day in underwear as well, b/c he went poopy on the potty 2 times that day. The next 2 weeks--in his underwear every time. He knows he'll get something cool b/c when we first started pting way back when, he'd get a sitcker for every time he went pee on the potty and then a prize after a full row of stickers. Now pee is totally fine, so he doesn't get prizes for that, unless he's "dry" all day, meaning no pee or poop in his underwear all day. My thought is that it should "click" at some point, but 2 weeks seems like a long time to not be making any progress in that area.

[JTsMom]

I keep going over this in my mind trying to figure out what I'd do. I can totally understand the feeling of not wanting to go back, but I think maybe if you re-frame it in your mind it might work. Think of it as just trying something new b/c what you're doing now isn't working for either of you- I hope that makes sense, I haven't made it through my first cup of coffee yet. LOL

I'd probably refer to Pull Ups as special learning underwear or something, and I would never ever make them sound like a diaper. They make a certain type that gets cold when wet, and I might try those to discourage peeing in them. And I would try to make changing them as different as possible from diaper changing.


What is your gut feeling about him being ready to poop on the potty? Do you think he can do it but just doesn't want to, or is he really not ready? If it's the latter, I'd just tell him to pee on the potty, and wait a little longer on the pooping. DS went through that phase for a long time- for him, it was just a fear thing, and I totally left it alone. He eventually pooped on the potty accidentally one night when he was really tired and didn't realize what he was doing, and we made a huge to-do about it, and that was the end of that.

If you think he just doesn't want to be bothered, I think I'd push it a little. I'd read lots of books about it, I'd try to convince him that changing a diaper takes longer and is less convenient, and that going to the potty was worth his time. I think that he is more in this category, if you can get past the initial resistance, you'll be in really good shape. I'd probably put potties everywhere I could, and try to get him to sit every so often. Maybe you could put some type of special toy/book/video aside for when he's sitting there since he said he doesn't want to be sitting there for that long.

Good luck- just remember, it WILL happen eventually.

[TonFirst]

I am pretty firmly in the anti-pullup camp. I have been where you are, and I know how frustrating it is to be constantly cleaning up poopy pants. You've been at it for two weeks and this is the part where it's darkest before the dawn, if that makes sense. If you feel like he's making progress, however slowly, I'd keep at it with the underpants. We had about a month where I had to be very alert for poop cues - and I realized fast that if my son said that it felt like poop was coming, then there was already a turtle head (visualize it - it's an apt term!) down there. After about a month (and one Thomas sticker chart later, but we didn't do prizes after a row of stickers - there were just about 25 spaces for stickers and one big-deal prize at the end), he got the hang of it.

I definitely understand your reticence to go to pull-ups - if you're having good success with pee in underpants then that's a bell I wouldn't want to unring.

[o_mom]

Have you tried any naked time? DS1 learned very quickly when naked. We had the BB potty in the living room (play room at the time) for about a week so that he could get there right away. After about a week, he could recognize it a bit sooner and we put it back in the bathroom. It still took him a long time to figure out underwear, but at least we were out of diapers at home!