Twins: sleep/ room situation

[BeachBum]

My twins are nearly 7 months old. They have been sharing a room, but not a crib their whole lives.

Nap time and bed time is a real struggle. Because if I put one down, and he has not yet totally fallen asleep, but sees me when I am rocking, or even just walking in the room to put the other one down he totally wakes up and screams for me. An unlike all the books say, mine DO wake each other up.

This problem has really grown recently because I am really working hard to put them down a drowsy but awake instead of rocking or nursing to sleep like I have been.

Today, I put one down in the pack and play in my room. But I don't see this as a long term solution. And it doesn't solve anything for night time.

We do have another bedroom that is upstairs from the rest of us. Right now we use that area as a den/ workout room. We really don't want to change it to a bedroom, but we can. We would put our pre-schooler up there and separate the twins in to the Jack and Jill rooms on our floor.

How do you guys handle this problem? any suggestions are appreciated.

[Melaine]

I will get back to you on this later this morning. Have definitely BTDT! It is so hard and ITA, they DO wake each other up. I don't know who came up with that big fat lie but I am relatively sure it was so ignorant pediatrician trying to comfort a young twin mommy who is losing her mind from lack of sleep. Not sure if I have much help, but I will share a long post of what we went through in a bit.

[twowhat?]

A friend of mine with triplets had to separate ALL of them for naps. I decided then that I would try it...and it has made a BIG difference!! I keep one baby in her room and the other in our bedroom in a P&P. They don't keep (or wake) each other up now, and can wake up on their own. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner!!

They do share a bedroom at night with no problems.

[Melaine]

Ok, we have done various sleep situations. I do think you have to be pretty flexible with twins and constantly re-evaluate and change as necessary. My girls slept in the same crib for a long time. Then we separated them into two cribs, we also went through a couple of short periods where one would nap in the crib and the other would nap in the play pen. That was when one was napping better than the other and I just wasn't willing to let the other twin wake her.
What I would do if I were you is set up a secondary nap spot somewhere temporarily until you get them into a very good nap schedule. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to work towards that (putting them down awake, etc.). I do think you have to put them both down at the same time to have them sleep well together, otherwise you will have the issues of one baby seeing you with the second baby...I was never able to nurse so my kids just had to get used to getting tandem bottle fed and then just put in their beds. So, I think if you want them to be able to sleep together you are going to have to keep them from falling asleep nursing. (Unless you are a wonder woman who can tandem nurse and tandem carry two sleeping babies and place them into the crib).
If you do have them nap separately, I wouldn't be too discouraged. The important thing is that they are napping well and it could just be a short phase where they are separated. The only thing that became a problem for me was when we were in that phase and were traveling having two available rooms for them where no one would disturb them was difficult.
I am pretty sure there was nothing helpful in that whole post, but at least you know you aren't alone?

[mom2beofboy/girltwins]

I feel your pain too. Our twins are about 4 1/2 months old now and I started separating them about 2 weeks ago. We're no longer feeding them on the same schedule at night (ie, wake the second one up to eat becuase the first one woke up) since they are sometimes making it through most or all of the night now. (No point in waking a baby to eat if they might make it through the night anyway, right? ) But when they were in the same room if one did wake up and fuss a little bit we always felt like we had to get that baby to be quiet asap so they wouldn't wake the other - which meant constantly replacing pacifiers. I was getting really frustrated becuase they wouldn't eat from about 11:30 pm until maybe 8 am but I was still getting up 5-8 times to put someone's pacifier back in so they would quickly and quietly go back to sleep. So, now they're in seperate rooms and we've taken away pacifiers for naps and bedtime. (kinda rough at first but it's getting better) Now if they need to fuss themselves back to sleep for a few minutes I don't have to be so worried about the other baby waking up too. On the plus side, since we took away the pacifiers there's been 2 nights when DD has slept from 11:30 to 8:30 and a couple where DS has made it from 11:30 to 7 without waking up and needing anything - yea!!! It is a little frustrating to have multiple rooms in your house "off limits" while they're sleeping but I'm hoping this is just a temporary situation until they both start sleeping better consistantly.

[twowhat?]

I do think you have to be pretty flexible with twins and constantly re-evaluate and change as necessary.

Most definitely true!!! My girls do nap on the same schedule and I'm hoping I can get them back into the same room for naps sometime. Because it does suck to have half the house off-limits when they are napping. They were talking and playing with each other from their own cribs and then not napping at all and ending up REALLY cranky or one would wake before the other was ready, so for now, separating them is working.

Sleep issues and twins is always a tough one!

[Naranjadia]

I will get back to you on this later this morning. Have definitely BTDT! It is so hard and ITA, they DO wake each other up. I don't know who came up with that big fat lie but I am relatively sure it was so ignorant pediatrician trying to comfort a young twin mommy who is losing her mind from lack of sleep. Not sure if I have much help, but I will share a long post of what we went through in a bit.

Don't hate me, but my twins generally do not wake each other up. Not that it never occurs, but just not on a regular basis. Even if one is screaming or crying for twenty minutes. But it's definitely not true of the most of the other twins we know. They do gab together more now at the beginning of nap, until one drops off and the other gets bored.

Okay, you can hate me a little bit. But we must be that exception that the myth is based on.

[fivi2]

We have done a variety of things over the years. At first they shared a crib for night and naps. Then I started having to separate for naps. We only have a two bedroom home, so one was in our room, one in theirs.

At some point we started having to separate for night time also. Which is where we are now - one falls asleep in our bed and then gets moved to their room. Their mattresses are pushed together on the floor. Once asleep they rarely, if ever, wake each other up. But they keep each other awake before falling asleep, which is why we separate for that. They are 3.5. I have no idea how long we will have to separate at bed time, but it doesn't appear to be ending anytime soon.

Good luck!

[BeachBum]

Thanks for all your thoughts.
I'm just still so overwhelmed by them and the no sleep situation. They are still waking 5 or more times a night. I am a total zombie.

It has been working well (well that's a stretch, I should say better) separating them for naps and I think we are going to try to do it at night too. I just don't know how. LOL.

[Melanie]

Okay, I hope you don't mind me peeking in here b/c I am not a mom of multiples, but something occured to me when I read this. Would it help to put up some kind of room-divinding folding screen between their cribs or in front of whomever gets most distracted? Obvoiusly I have no idea how their room is set up but I was imaging the classic two beds on one wall then you put up a fold-out screen between them. Or you could do something more permanent if it works out in the long-term. Something that only divides during rest time (and another good 'cue' that it's time for rest instead of play would be when you bring it out/put it up) then you can put it away the rest of the time so they still have their play space. I realize it won't block sound but at least it wouldn't be visually-stimulating.

Just a thought. And a big bow to moms of multiples!