Twins: sleep/ room situation

[Melaine]

I think I am going to ask DH if we can pull the girls beds apart. They aren't napping anymore but I know they still need the sleep. I'm about to go nuts. WE MUST HAVE NAPS.

[gatorsmom]

Like Naranjadia, mine don't usually wake the other up and they have always shared a room. And, if they do, they don't start screaming about it. But, before you hate me for this (), understand that my two singletons were NOT nearly as easy as my twins to get to sleep.

I have to say that with my singletons, when I'd hear them start to fuss or fidget from a nap, I'd intercede more quickly. I think the twins have sensed from the start that mom doesn't have a lot of time for them , and that I was really only going to be coming in their room if they screamed bloody murder for a LONG time. So, nap times are pretty simple- they either nap or play in their crib til we come and get them at about the same time every day. Greenbean has a hard time going to sleep at night (because of sensory issues) so he will sometimes scream until I come in the room and soothe him, but Sisi doesn't stand up wanting attention too, thank GOD! She used to stand in her crib when I came in, but I just would walk over and rub and kiss her head and tell her to lie back down. I'd never pick her up when I came in to tend to Greenbean so she doesn't expect it at all.

I would put room darkening shades in their room so they can't see each other clearly and I'd definitely put a white noise machine in so that they can't hear every little sound the other makes. You could also try a little tough love (I know, easy for me to say. But I really think it's made a difference with my twins). If one wakes up and cries and then the second wakes up and cries dont' go to get them til nap time is over. I'd let them play in their cribs and hang out until naptime is over (of course, if they cry for quite a while, you might want to check diapers. But then change them and put them back into their crib til wakeup time.). This seems to work for us.

Big hugs. sleep issues are the worst.

[o_mom]

Another non-multiple mom (also with a big bow to you all), but if you don't want to move someone upstairs, what about moving one twin in with your preschooler?

Obviously it depend a whole lot on the temperament of the preschooler, but the older one might be able to ignore you walking in to put the baby in bed, etc.

[Melaine]

You know, this may sound crazy but my theory about twins does come into play here. The two mamas who say their children sleep through any wakings both have B/G twins. From what I have observed, read (and my experience), this is my theory about twins:

B/G Twins are like siblings that happen to be the same age. They may be closer than most siblings, but not as close as fraternal.
Fraternal, same sex twins are more than just siblings, but not as close as identicals.
Identical twins are absolutely inseparable. Every move they make, the other watches, hears, mimics, responds. They are more attached to one another than any other person in the world, including mom.
So, my theory is my girls can't sleep through their sister waking, because they sense, hear, know everything she is doing. There is an undeniable connection with identicals that sometimes kind of freaks me out. Sometimes I want to break through their little twin bubble to reach them on the same level they reach each other, but I know I never can. They are so close that until very recently, I have had trouble even discerning significant personality differences in them.
I'm probably crazy, but that's my theory!

[fivi2]

You know, this may sound crazy but my theory about twins does come into play here. The two mamas who say their children sleep through any wakings both have B/G twins. From what I have observed, read (and my experience), this is my theory about twins:

B/G Twins are like siblings that happen to be the same age. They may be closer than most siblings, but not as close as fraternal.
Fraternal, same sex twins are more than just siblings, but not as close as identicals.
Identical twins are absolutely inseparable. Every move they make, the other watches, hears, mimics, responds. They are more attached to one another than any other person in the world, including mom.
So, my theory is my girls can't sleep through their sister waking, because they sense, hear, know everything she is doing. There is an undeniable connection with identicals that sometimes kind of freaks me out. Sometimes I want to break through their little twin bubble to reach them on the same level they reach each other, but I know I never can. They are so close that until very recently, I have had trouble even discerning significant personality differences in them.
I'm probably crazy, but that's my theory!

Sorry Melaine - my identical girls will usually sleep through the other waking up! They make it hard for the other to fall asleep, but almost never wake up to the other crying.

Their mattresses are pushed together on the floor. They slept together in the same crib for a LONG time (although we would sometimes separate until the fell asleep and then move them together for the rest of the night.

I wanted to comment on your nap issue above, also. My girls gave up naps right about the time they turned 3. I think yours are nearing that? For me, it was actually easier once they gave up naps - I put them down an hour earlier in the evenings. If they actually did nap, they were up so late at night. But without naps, we get several hours in the evening to relax.

I do agree with your other theories about the differences between b/g frat, ss frat, and identical, though. I think there is a difference in the twin relationship (but NOT a difference in the amount of work for mom! lol ) Although I see differences between my girls, I have a hard time articulating those to outsiders. They seem to be minor differences as compared to differences between non-twins. My girls are also incredibly close.

Sorry to go off on a tangent!

To the op, I think I said this before, but if it is easier, go ahead and separate for a while (even if in a pack and play in a n office or your room, or wherever). Once they fall asleep, you can always move them back into the same room.

Good luck to everyone!

[Naranjadia]

So, nap times are pretty simple- they either nap or play in their crib til we come and get them at about the same time every day.

Lisa - What's the lighting like during naps with your twins? If they play instead of sleep, can they see what they're doing? I ask because DS has taken to quietly talking, reading, etc, so we think he may be transitioning to more of a "rest" time. Trying to figure out whether to give him a little more light so he can see the books better. We think DD will still sleep for awhile at nap time.

Thanks.

[gatorsmom]

Lisa - What's the lighting like during naps with your twins? If they play instead of sleep, can they see what they're doing? I ask because DS has taken to quietly talking, reading, etc, so we think he may be transitioning to more of a "rest" time. Trying to figure out whether to give him a little more light so he can see the books better. We think DD will still sleep for awhile at nap time.

Thanks.

As it turns out, often Sisi is the one who likes to play instead of sleep so her crib is nearest the window. A little light does get through so her crib is better lit than Greenbeans. I do have some toys in their cribs though, that can light up giving them more light. One of them is a garden toy I got from Target that looks like a lantern and makes cricket and bug noises. It only stays on for a few minutes before going off automatically. Otherwise, their room is hard to see in during naptime.