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  1. #1
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    Default Baptism Question - Convoluted

    So DS is 11 mo and we are thinking of having him baptized.
    I am not particularly religious, but DH is Catholic and would really like to have DS baptized. I'm a Methodist, but more spiritual than religious. For the baptism ceremony, I am not partial to any particular denomination (I was brought up believing Christian is Christian, and denomination is not really important), but we are not members of any particular church/community (as in, not regular churchgoers.)
    The Catholic churches in our area (Boston) seem to have strict regulations about how/when we can have him baptized, and about being members, etc. (I haven't actually talked to them, this is through research on their websites. But we were "burned" by a Catholic church before when we were getting married and the Catholic priest told us we couldn't have the wedding the way we wanted and implied we were stupid to even ask - we're both from other countries, and he really discouraged us, which is part of the reason we're not regular churchgoers. But I digress.)
    We really want DS to be baptized, but we want it to be in a church/denomination that is open to the fact that DH is Catholic and I'm not, and that doesn't necessarily tie DS into any particular denomination (ESPECIALLY a denomination other than Catholic or Methodist - that would be too many denominations in one family LOL!) Basically let him decide when he grows older what denomination he prefers.
    Any suggestions for an "open" denomination that we should look into? I've heard of "United Parishes" with multiple denominations - think I should look into those?
    Or any other ideas I haven't though of? WWYD?
    Thanks!

  2. #2
    brittone2 is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Unitarian Universalist?

    eta:
    http://www.uua.org/visitors/index.shtml

    I've heard the "flavor" really varies between different UU churches, so you may want to visit more than one and talk w/ more than one leader/minister.
    Last edited by brittone2; 08-28-2009 at 04:24 PM.

  3. #3
    mamicka is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by truly scrumptious View Post
    Any suggestions for an "open" denomination that we should look into?
    As far as I'm aware, most Protestant denominations don't care what denomination you are regarding baptism. I know ours doesn't. They may have other church-specific requirements but denomination doesn't usually factor in.

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    brittone2 is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    Back to add that UU seems to do more of a "dedication" than a Baptism. Not sure if that would work for your DH's needs or your family, but here's what they have on their site:
    http://www.uua.org/visitors/worship/...ies/6976.shtml

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by mamicka View Post
    As far as I'm aware, most Protestant denominations don't care what denomination you are regarding baptism. I know ours doesn't. They may have other church-specific requirements but denomination doesn't usually factor in.
    That's good to know. I guess I'll just call any that look promising and don't come right out and say that you have to be a member.

    Quote Originally Posted by brittone2 View Post
    Back to add that UU seems to do more of a "dedication" than a Baptism. Not sure if that would work for your DH's needs or your family, but here's what they have on their site:
    http://www.uua.org/visitors/worship/...ies/6976.shtml
    Thanks for the suggestion! I'll talk to DH and see how he feels about a dedication.
    Mom to Mr. Sunshine 9/08
    and Miss Happiness 3/11

  6. #6
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    Sorry for the double post. I'm a newbie and still getting used to how this works!
    Mom to Mr. Sunshine 9/08
    and Miss Happiness 3/11

  7. #7
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    I'm UU (Unitarian Universalist), and I would definitely check out some different congregations before deciding, the atmosphere definitely varies from church to church. Ours leans away from Christianity, which is not to say it is against it. But if you just want DS baptized Christian, maybe try a "fellowship" or non-denominational Christian church. My sister's DH is Catholic and both of their DCs are Baptized, but it was a hassle because my sister is not. I would check around, because whatever the denomination, churches might want you to be a regular attendee if not a member (there is a difference).
    Also think about what you really want out of a Baptism, why you are doing it in the first place. That might help you decide. Whether it is more out of tradition, or whether you are protecting your baby from Hell. Isn't that the Catholic reason? Forgive me if I'm wrong! Technically UU's don't officially believe in Hell, so a UU dedication may not be what you want.
    Good luck!
    -Sara

    DD- Veronica, 6/26/06 future astronaut/ princess
    DS- Oliver, 5/1/09 looking spiffy in his DOCband

  8. #8
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Definitely look around. Friends baptized both their children Catholic and had to join the parish church to do so. One god parent also had to be a member of any parish. For their DD#2, the godparents are DH and I. DH was raised Catholic, but hasn't gone to church in years. I was raised as nothing, I'm not baptized. DH joined a local parish, so we could meet the Catholic Church's requirements and be godparents. There was no issue with me not being Catholic, but I'm not sure if that would be different if I was the parent.

    Just saying that if you DH does want DC to be baptized Catholic, you may need to join a parish, have one of the godparents that is Catholic and member of a parish. Oh, and neither our friends or DH goes to Church regularly. Our friends go on holidays, and DH never goes. So, DH joining the parish was more a formality I suppose. He had to fill out an application to join the parish and paid some money. On the baptism appliation he listed dates of his baptism/confirmation etc. DH was an altar boy as a child and went to Catholic High School.
    Last edited by niccig; 08-28-2009 at 06:11 PM.

  9. #9
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    JBaxter is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    We dont have baby baptisms at our church. We have dedications. I think Catholic and Lutheran faiths baptise babies.

    ** our belief is it must be a choice to be baptised
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  10. #10
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    what town are you in? I'm happy to PM you the name of our Church if you're nearby

    Our church does not require that you be members or that babies be X age. they are very welcoming of all.

    one Godparent must be Catholic but they do not ask for proof or anything.

    I think they only do them 1 Sat a month though. and you attend a class the Sunday before that.
    Last edited by doberbrat; 08-28-2009 at 08:47 PM.

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