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  1. #11
    elektra's Avatar
    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Veronica's Mommy View Post
    I'm UU (Unitarian Universalist), and I would definitely check out some different congregations before deciding, the atmosphere definitely varies from church to church. Ours leans away from Christianity, which is not to say it is against it. But if you just want DS baptized Christian, maybe try a "fellowship" or non-denominational Christian church. My sister's DH is Catholic and both of their DCs are Baptized, but it was a hassle because my sister is not. I would check around, because whatever the denomination, churches might want you to be a regular attendee if not a member (there is a difference).
    Also think about what you really want out of a Baptism, why you are doing it in the first place. That might help you decide. Whether it is more out of tradition, or whether you are protecting your baby from Hell. Isn't that the Catholic reason? Forgive me if I'm wrong! Technically UU's don't officially believe in Hell, so a UU dedication may not be what you want.
    Good luck!
    for most of it at least. The protecting against hell part is part of it for the Catholics but it's not the sole reason.
    I am like the PP's sister, DH is Catholic and I am not. We had to take classes at the Catholic church and join the parish where we had DD and DS baptized. One thing I learned in the class was that a baptism in any protestant church still "counts" as far as the Catholics go.
    And I agree that you should think about why you want them baptized. For me, I am not particularly religious and consider myself more spiritual as well. And I honestly would not have been opposed to just not having our kids baptized. For us it was a nice thing as a sort of family event for DH's family and it's just something DH always wanted to do for his kids. (FTR- DH is not religious AT ALL even after being raised in the church, being an altar boy, getting confirmed, etc.) So I just held my tongue in the classes when we got to the part about Catholicism being the only true Christian religion and did what we needed to to make it official.
    DD - 9
    DS - 7

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by elektra View Post
    for most of it at least. The protecting against hell part is part of it for the Catholics but it's not the sole reason.
    I
    The Catholic church teaches that people are born with the mark of original sin (think Adam and Eve). Baptism removes that mark. If a baby passes before being baptized, he or she would spend eternity in limbo, not hell.

    ETA that while I am Catholic, I would never in a million years believe that an innocent child would go anywhere but heaven, but that is just me.
    -Melissa
    Mom to M (2002) & M (2014)

  3. #13
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    wellyes is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    This thread is education! I wasn't aware that any Protestant faiths baptised infants.

    I'm not religious anymore but was born Catholic, and I do respect that they make you do it "their way". It is an ancient tradition and it is hierarchical based on the idea that their most brilliant, dedicated scholars decide how things should be done through God's revelation. As I said, I'm not Catholic, but I do understand where that structure is coming from & it makes sense to me.

    What I don't really understand is baptizing a baby outside of a specific faith..... when I say I don't understand, I'm not judging, faith is *so* personal. I'm just curious!
    DD - 8
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  4. #14
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    elektra is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by MelissaTC View Post
    The Catholic church teaches that people are born with the mark of original sin (think Adam and Eve). Baptism removes that mark. If a baby passes before being baptized, he or she would spend eternity in limbo, not hell.

    ETA that while I am Catholic, I would never in a million years believe that an innocent child would go anywhere but heaven, but that is just me.
    Yeah, I shouldn't have even attempted to speak to the teachings of the Catholic church in regards to baptism after only a few classes.
    My point was that there is more to Baptism than what non-Catholics (myself included pre-classes) may generally think, especially about baptizing an infant only to protect them from hell, or from limbo.
    DD - 9
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  5. #15
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    Gena is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by MelissaTC View Post
    If a baby passes before being baptized, he or she would spend eternity in limbo, not hell.
    The Catholic Church no longer teaches that unbaptized children go to limbo. This was once a theory, but it was never solid doctrine. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says this:

    "As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus' tenderness toward children which caused him to say: 'Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,' allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church's call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism. " (paragraph 1261)

    God gave the Church the sacraments are for the good of its members, but God is not limited by the sacraments. He can save whomever He chooses, regardless of baptismal status. Even so, Catholics believe that there are strong spiritual benefits to baptism. It erases original sin, provides sactifying grace, creates spiritual bonds among Christians, and put an indelible mark (character) on the soul. For these reasons Catholics believe baptism is important.

    You and your DH need to discuss what baptism means for each of you and if you plan to raise your child in the Catholic faith, the Methodist faith, non-denominational, or something else entirely. This will be just the first of many decisions in this area. What will you do about Sunday School? First Communion? etc.
    Gena

    DS, age 11 and always amazing

    “Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." - Paul Collins, Not Even Wrong

  6. #16
    mecawa is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Just a BTDT, we know what you guys are going through, we're from the Boston area too, and my family has gone through what your going through with the churches for years (they refused to baptize me when I was little, because they didnt' feel my mother attended church enough, and I have many other stories as well, lol). My girls were both baptized in the catholic church and if you call around to different parishes (especially the further you get away from the city) they are much more welcoming. We weren't originally members of my church, and they didnt' care, there were no questions asked, just when do you want her baptized, and that was it. So, if you did want to use the Catholic Church call around and if you don't Methodist and UU are great as well.

  7. #17
    kellyd is offline Silver level (200+ posts)
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    If you are considering a Catholic baptism:

    I am Catholic, DH is not. I do belong to a specific parish, but that really doesn't mean that much other than they send me offertory envelopes every few months. In a Catholic baptism one of the chosen godparents have to be Catholic and have to show proof via a letter from their home parish stating they've recieved all of their sacraments and that they go to church. They gave us absolutely no trouble about DH not being catholic, it's incredibly common these days. I personally feel that you are better off baptising a child in the religion of one of their parents, simply because they would naturally have a foundation in that faith growing up w/ parents who know about it. This doesn't prohibit the child from chosing their own branch of religion when they are grown. But, obviously we each make our own decisions.
    Mom to DS born June 2008 and twin DD's August 2010

  8. #18
    mamicka is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellyd View Post
    I personally feel that you are better off baptising a child in the religion of one of their parents, simply because they would naturally have a foundation in that faith growing up w/ parents who know about it.
    OT & not directed at you, kellyd. Do people consider the different denominations to be different religions? I just always thought baptism is baptism - Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Episcopalian, etc. You aren't baptized to be a certain denomination, you're just baptized. Or is my take on it in the minority?

  9. #19
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    OT & not directed at you, kellyd. Do people consider the different denominations to be different religions? I just always thought baptism is baptism - Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Episcopalian, etc. You aren't baptized to be a certain denomination, you're just baptized. Or is my take on it in the minority?
    What would "just baptized" mean? In the Catholic faith it is a very specific sacrament that parent chose for their child. In some other faiths, baptism is done only to adults after they make a personal commitment & sometimes doesn't happen until after years of church attendance. Very very different.
    DD - 8
    DS - 5

  10. #20
    mamicka is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by wellyes View Post
    What would "just baptized" mean? In the Catholic faith it is a very specific sacrament that parent chose for their child. In some other faiths, baptism is done only to adults after they make a personal commitment & sometimes doesn't happen until after years of church attendance. Very very different.
    Yes, I know that. I just mean - so the OP decides to have DC baptized in the Presbyterian church. Does that mean that the DC will somehow be considered more Presbyterian? That baptism will be recognized by the Catholic church as no different than a baptism in a Catholic church. So what's the difference? So I guess what I mean by "just baptized" is - does it have to be qualified by the denomination? For example, does one have to say I was baptized Methodist or can one just say I was baptized?

    Maybe I'm not explaining myself well.

    FTR, I understand that the sacrament of baptism is very important, it certainly is to me. I'm not making light of it by saying "just baptized". I also think that the OP should really think about what baptism means to them as others have advised. I'm just wondering if people think it makes a difference which denomination performs the baptism.

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