Terrified of Waldorf Visitor Day tomorrow

[MommyofAmaya]

DD is a very imaginative and social. I play with her as much as I can handle, but it is certainly not my favorite activity. Her brother is very demanding and takes up most of my time. I have looked at many MDO and preschool programs locally and was turned off by the emphasis on academics. I just want her to have fun and be creative during her day. She is only 3.5yo. Waldorf seemed a logical choice for this reason. My only concern is that we are relatively mainstream (ie. we have commercial toys, watch some TV, movies, Amaya's favorite "toy" is the Iphone, etc). and I wonder about whether this may confuse dd. I did a search on mdc for "mainstream" and "Waldorf" and I found a thread about a family whose daughter was laughed at and bullied b/c of her mainstream toys at the visitor morning she attended. Apparently the director and the other parents witnessed the children's behavior and did not get involved. Coincidentally, this happened at the same school where I was planning to enroll dd. I am going to the visitor tomorrow and now I'm terrified. I was not planning to take dd with me, but now I wonder whether I should. Amaya's ears are pierced.... Will they harrass her for that? Any tips on questions I should ask the director in light of this issue or otherwise? ETA: If I am breaking forum rules by referencing the thread on mdc, please let me know and I will find a way to rephrase. Thx.

[Laurel]

We really liked Waldorf at first glance too, and opted out of it after some research and conversation with former Waldorf families (both online and local).

If you are worried about being judged and not being able to "be yourselves", (i.e. sometimes mainstream), Waldorf may not be the right fit for you. One of the reasons we decided against was that I was feeling like I had to minimize/hide so much of our lives to fit in, KWIM?

You also may want to check out the "life after waldorf" thread on MDC (in the personal growth forum). Very enlightening.

Good luck with your school choice!

[niccig]

I would go visit and see what feeling you get. I would not put my child in a school that has a very different values (for want of a better word) than my home values. If you're OK with her having mainstream toys/TV and she will get teased about it - that is just too confusing for a child.

Have you visited any play-based preschools? Our preschool was play based, some curriculum as in learning alphabet but in a fun way - no worksheets or real academics until pre-K and even then not much of that. It kind of sounds like what you are looking for.

[AnnieW625]

I would just go and see how she likes it and how you like the other parents involved. I don't know much about Waldorf, but a friend's children do attend. The parents are both vegetarian and the mom is a tad crunchy, but not in a pushy or mean way (she make home made soaps, and uses homeopathic remedies for her daughter, extended breast feeding until 2), but her children watch TV, go to Disneyland, have many mainstream toys, and she has an Iphone too. The mom is also a model (not famous, but does runway work in LA and has been on some magazine covers for Fit Pregnancy) so the kids are exposed to the real world. Would the school be a good fit for us, probably not because as creative as my daughter is she does very well with structure. We did attend a Waldorf faire last year and I loved the crafts, but she took a very long time to warm up to it.

Good luck and I hope it goes well. I know it's a different type of education but your daughter might also really enjoy Montessori. Look on the AMS and the AMI websites for schools near you.

[MommyofAmaya]

Thanks for your replies. I see the benefit of the Waldorf philosophy and hope to learn more as our relationship with the school develops. I had a long chat with a neighbor who makes some (maybe many) mainstream choices and she and her daughter really like it. I specifically asked her about whether there was any judgmental behavior and she said she hadn't noticed it among the children. It is only a kindergarten so the children are not over age 6. There are many other reasons we liked this school too (schedule, tuition, ability to carpool, etc.) so I am especially disappointed that I found that thread.... internet be damned. The good Montessori schools here are at least twice as $$. I'll update tommorrow.. I'm still trying to decide whether to have Amaya accompany me. I will read the "Life After Waldorf" article ASAP.

[pinkmomagain]

I wouldnt spend a ton of time reading up on the internet. Different people have different experiences at different schools. Check it out, give it a try.

For what it's worth, my kids go to Waldorf summer camp (but do public school). Their friends who attend the school during the academic year don't seem particularly sheltered from the "real world" at all.

[marit]

I would definitely take your daughter with you. After all, it is for her, and you have to see how she likes it.

I really really wanted Waldorf for my DD, so I went to an open house (with my child) and changed my mind about it completely. The teachers were whispering all the time and the kids were dead-quiet, I found it too freaky. But I agree with PP that you need to judge for yourself, and not rely on Internet information.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I considered one in my area but after reading the online parent handbook I decided it just wasn't a great fit for my family. See if they have a handbook and how you feel about it. Have an open mind tomorrow. It could be great.

Like pp said, there are many great preschools that don't have a philosophy beyond being play based and developmentally appropriate. They can be great schools.

Beth

[kransden]

Waldorf can be wonderful - or not. Our local school is really neat. I wish it would have worked out for dd, but the cut off was too early. We are tech people, but it still would have been a great fit for us. So go in with a positive attitude and see. They are not all luddites. They just want your child to be a child.

[brittone2]

I wouldnt spend a ton of time reading up on the internet. Different people have different experiences at different schools. Check it out, give it a try.

I really like many parts of the whole Waldorf philosophy (and parts of Montessori as well even though they are so different). We have a local Waldorf school and before I was 100% sure about whether we'd homeschool, I considered it. Never did an official tour or anything, however. We regularly attend events there-they have puppet shows, Mayfaire, etc. that are open to the public, which is cool

My impression is that every school has its own culture...Waldorf or not. Some Waldorf schools are going to have stronger feelings about how you live your family life outside of school, while others are going to be more relaxed about it.

So I wouldn't rule it in/out based on your concerns until you get a better feel. If your neighbor is fairly mainstream and enjoying it, that's probably a positive sign.