Anyone else having attitude problems since school started?

[MMEand1]

Since school started, my DS (6yo/in 1st grade) has been having some HORRIBLE attitude problems. He has been doing this "it's not fair", "You never let me xyz...", "well fine, I'll do whatever I want...", etc. He has resorted to kicking, screaming, and acting like a 2 year old (actually, he acted better as a 2 yo!).

I'm not sure what to do with him. I am getting tired of this attitude and nothing seems to be working. We have tried talking to him, doing time out in his room, in the corner, on the couch, letting him pick his punishment, and taking away privileges. I have tried 1, 2, 3, walking away from him when he acts like a wild person, trying to reason with him, and nothing works...

HELP! I'm at a loss!

[Momof3Labs]

is he getting enough sleep? is he hungry (e.g. eating lunch earlier so in need of an earlier dinner or bigger snack)?

[KrisM]

is he getting enough sleep? is he hungry (e.g. eating lunch earlier so in need of an earlier dinner or bigger snack)?

My 5 year old is like the OP's. I know he's not getting enough sleep, but he complains that he is missing out on everything fun and just fights bedtime horribly. And, he is apparently starving after school, which is surprising as he's eating a big lunch at 1pm and is home just after 4.

We are working on the sleep and food and it is helping a little. Today was better than the weekdays, so I think those are the biggest reasons.

[DrSally]

Yes, the first day home from school DS's behavior was unbelievable. He was doing things I've never seen him do--purposely trying to knock my full cup of water over, taking all the baby wipes out, screaming, kicking, etc. At the time I didn't handle it in the right way, I think. I was more about reprimanding, getting him in control, etc.

I think it takes *A LOT* of energy to adapt to a new situation like school, and clearly, DS was exhausted from holding it together during class (preschool). He also started his eyeblinking tic again that day. I was focused on getting DD fed so she could get to her nap since it was very late for her b/c we were waiting for DS to get out of school. So, I was putting DS off and I should've been spending some time with him rather than reacting to his out of control behavior with anger/frustration/time outs.

So, the next day, I did a number of things differently. I made a special "I love you" heart that he could put in his pocket during the day. I got to preschool early so he could ease into it and not have to enter a full room of kids. Eventhough the hall was crowded, I took the effort to get down on his level, give him a big hug, look him in the eye, and greet him, rather than rushing out the door. When we got in the van, I had an apple and water for him on the way home. I let him watch a video to decompress when we got home, rather than putting expectations on him right away. I spent time reading and snuggling with him after I got DD down for her nap.

It made a huge difference, and he gave me a hug at the end of the day and said "Good day". The blinking has really receded too.

[maestramommy]

Yup, mine too. A lot of complaining and very demanding clingy behavior. And yeah she was a lot better behaved when she was 2 Some of it is the stress of a totally new school situation, and some of it is probably still in reaction to baby Laurel. Even though she LOVES that baby, she is suddenly all over me.

[egoldber]

I think it takes *A LOT* of energy to adapt to a new situation like school, and clearly, DS was exhausted from holding it together during class (preschool).

I seriously did not appreciate how much WORK it is for kids to be in school all day. And first grade can be rough anyway, because there are generally much higher behavioral expectations than in K. Usually, K is still "fun". First grade is a lot more seat work, a lot more handwriting and a lot higher behavior expectations. And if it is also their first time going all day, that's a lot of transitions.

I know that when Sarah started first it was very hard on her. It took her well over 6 months to really adjust to the all day schedule. We had to cut out all after school activities, have a snack as soon as she got home, and she needed an hour or more to decompress.

So I think what you are experiencing is very normal. Not that the behavior is acceptable, but I think that reframing the situation to developing coping mechanisms vs seeing it as a situation to punish helps a great deal.

[MMEand1]

All good points. He had full day K last year, although he was in 3 different schools due to military moves, but he is in the same school that he finished with last year, so no switch there.

I pick him up everyday after school and we have a snack right away. He fights bedtime every night, but he has been doing that since birth - no kidding! We try to put them down at 8pm, but it's usually closer to 9 before he will stay in bed, and even then we hear him talking and singing in his room. We also limit activities before bedtime so he is not all hyped up.

I hope this ends soon...that private boarding school is looking better and better!!!

[C99]

After a brief poll of my friends (all also with 1st grade boys), I think this is a 6-y/o boy thing. Mine has been just like you describe -- sassy, ornery, argumentative, and disrespectful. In addition to the, "it's not fair..." he also likes to use, "no! you can't make me...." I am at my wit's end.

[Momof3Labs]

9pm is really late - he probably does need more sleep. What time does he have to get up? We put DS1 to sleep at 7:15 and he has to be up at 6:30, so he gets about 11 hours of sleep. An earlier bedtime may help a lot (he may be fighting 8pm because he's already overtired by then).

[JTsMom]

DS has managed to pick up the phrase "No! That's mine!" during the 4 half days he's been in school. There's also been a whole lot of "I'll do everything myself" stuff.

We had one very rough day, but overall, I think it's been positive. He really does well with lots of outside stimulation, and I've had more patience b/c I get 8 hours of peace a week.